Tim Fisher: Fun Facts (1 Viewer)

Ranjit Bhurpa

Well-Known Member
The half time entertainment at the Walsall game will be Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe Through the Tulips.
 

weecohawena

Well-Known Member
Tims mum liked Australian soap opera Home & Away so much she decided on Tim's middle name being Donald, after the character Donald Fisher, played by Norman Coburn.

Every so often she'd trick young Tim by asking him to "throw another shrimp on the barby". Every single time young Tim would attempt to do this, even though his parents didn't own a barbecue, and he was allergic to shrimp.
 

CCFC54321

Well-Known Member
Timmys favourite ever cup final goal was Keith houchens diving header and his father would every night for 6 months for a treat take him to the local concrete play area and recreate that moment until child welfare put a stop to it.
 
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dadgad

Well-Known Member
Fisher entered a talent contest at school;

'I'm the devil in disguise
You can see it in my eyes
That I'm tellin' dirty lies,' etc.
He sang.

His headmistress awarded him top marks for the feeling he put into the song.
'It was uncanny' she said, 'the level of authenticity he was able to bring. Extraordinary.'
 

dadgad

Well-Known Member
On a safari recently Tim was mistaken for the enormously obese prairie bird.
He was shot and punctured by the head ranger, the escaping gas leak was heard in CV6
In court the QC was heard to remark;
'One loathsome fat pig doth not a turkey make.'
 

CCFC54321

Well-Known Member
Tim had such big gonads and package as a child that he was effectively known as the 'cannon ball kid'.

The clanging of his glue bazooka had him banned from the school library for the last two years holding back his education.
 

COVKIDSNEVERQUIT

Well-Known Member
Tim Fisher is the Borg from Star Trek ( resistance is futile )
 

shmmeee

Well-Known Member
Tim once auditioned for X Factor with an acoustic version of Van Full of Retards by Anal c**t.

He didn't get through, but he did develop a budding romance with a runner called Cassandra. Which ended when he found her in bed with Louis Walsh.
 

Alan Dugdales Moustache

Well-Known Member
Tim Fisher is gradually morphing into Peter Sutcliffe.
 

singers_pore

Well-Known Member
Tim Fisher was an extra on the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only where he had a short scene with world renowned model Tula.
 

cov4theprem

Well-Known Member
Upon leaving school Tim started an apprenticeship at Maxwell House Coffee.
He was very proud when told he could go on to 'shake the beans' for life
 

Chipfat

Well-Known Member
At the next fans forum Tim is bringing his world famous farting duck to answer any question.

Tim is praying it will keep the audience misdirected enough that he doesn't have to answer any probing questions himself. If that fails, he will blame the duck, fans and the farmer who sold him the duck, oh and any other poor bastard he can think of.
 

DionDublinsJockstrap

Well-Known Member
Tim is currently working on a screenplay for "Carry On Football." He has described Vinny Jones as "the new Charles Hawtrey", that Joy has been working on her Hattie Jacques impression, and that Joe Elliott is a shoe in for Sid James as long as he detans a little.
 

Sbarcher

Well-Known Member
Tim ended up in A&E.
What happened? said the nurse
Well I was out riding, I have ridden for years and consider myself an excellent horse rider. Well, this horse just bolted and I hung on for dear life. After a while I began to slip from the saddle and ended up with my foot caught in the stirrup and dragged along the ground.
If the manager of Toy's R Us hadn't switch the machine off, I'd still be there now..........
 

Esoterica

Well-Known Member
Having mastered 13 world languages and struggling to find another motivating challenge, Tim decided to push himself further by joining the Nepalese nomadic Raute tribe. After 6 months Tim returned to the UK having been unsuccessful in his search for the tribe. During his time there he lived off roasted Macaque and became an expert forager. His very dusty flip flops are still in a glass display at the National History Museum.
 

King of the Lesbians

Well-Known Member
Often allowed to go on tour with his dad, young Timothy was once famously thrown off the tour bus by Simon Climie after being caught wanking off an Ewok...
 

Esoterica

Well-Known Member
Tim is a topiary expert and has to date clipped, cut and crafted 37 Sheffield Wednesday players into his sizeable garden. The centrepiece to his collection won the 'Best in Britain Chris Bart-Williams in Privet' for 4 consecutive years (1992-1995) which broke his own consecutive years record, previously set by 'Best in Britain Paul Warhurst in Bay Laurel' which was held from 1991-1993.
 

Esoterica

Well-Known Member
Tim no longer has contact with his estranged mother. While suffering from severe postnatal depression she buried him alive under the frozen chips in an Iceland freezer and left him for dead. In his subsequent front page interview with the Sheffield Chronicle, Tim described it as 'A trauma that no 27 year old should ever have to experience'.
 

DionDublinsJockstrap

Well-Known Member
Tim has just announced that he is going to stand for parliament as he now realises that he is not the biggest bull shitter in the country. He will be standing as The Real David Davis candidate
 

dadgad

Well-Known Member
Tim has just rung up Theresa May to offer her his pr and marketing services
for free.
May took the call herself;
'Do you specialise in bullshit giving substance to pure wind?'
'Most certainly, ask Joy.' he replied grinning like a prize bastard.
'You're in.' said May chuckling demonically.
'This clinches the election...' she muttered.
 

Chipfat

Well-Known Member
Not known by many people is that our Tim is the inventor of a brand new breathing apparatus, ideal for the diving, it expands the length of time they can go without air, 5 years in fact. When asked by diving monthly how he came up with the idea he smiled and said when you have kept your head up your own arse for as long i have its an essential piece of equipment for survival.
 
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