Tim Fisher: Fun Facts

Discussion in 'Coventry City General Chat' started by mrtrench, Apr 16, 2017.

  1. mrtrench

    mrtrench Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Messages:
    2,590
    Likes Received:
    776
    When he was a child, he fell out with his imaginary friend and had him arrested.

    He trains weasels to do circus tricks as a hobby. His favourite weasel is 'Crafty Sam'.

    He loves Wensleydale cheese but refuses to eat it in case it makes him look less masculine.

    He uses his beard trimmings to stuff cushions. He made two whole pillows when he shaved it off.

    He first met Joy Seppala at an inter-bank Dungeons and Dragons competition. He was representing Deutsche bank and Joy BNP Paribas. They played each other in the final. Tim let Joy win.
     
  2. bawtryneal

    bawtryneal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    1,424
    Likes Received:
    782
    When he goes out jogging he wears a t shirt with the logo "I love Joy"
     
    mrtrench likes this.
  3. mrtrench

    mrtrench Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Messages:
    2,590
    Likes Received:
    776
    His favourite singer is 80s Welsh crooner Bonny Tyler. He owns a rare 12" picture disc of her singing a Gilbert & Sullivan Medley

    Tim got through to the final selection stages for the design of Princess Diana's Wedding gown. His design was only rejected at the last minute because Prince Charles thought it was 'too organic'.

    Tim sings so loud in the shower that his neighbours made him insulate the walls. Even so, when on top form you can still hear his ablutions from the street. He usually sings Bonny Tyler's 'It's a Heartache'.

    Tim was a promising high jumper at school. He can still jump over 6 feet into the air from a standing start.

    When Princess Diana died Tim wept for 6 whole days: 3 for Diana and 3 for Dodi Fayed.
     
  4. mrtrench

    mrtrench Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Messages:
    2,590
    Likes Received:
    776
    There that's 10. Good enough for a CET article.
     
    RegTheDonk and wingy like this.
  5. Monners

    Monners Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,198
    Likes Received:
    1,053
    He has a cat called Roger. So called because Tim is a huge James Bond fan, so named it after Roger Moore. Coincidentally, the cat has the ability to raise one eyebrow (the right eye if I recall).
     
  6. bawtryneal

    bawtryneal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    1,424
    Likes Received:
    782
    He spends most of the weekend tidying up his garage. He draws around all the saws and spades so each tool has its own specified space. He has put net curtains up on his garage windows.
     
  7. bawtryneal

    bawtryneal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    1,424
    Likes Received:
    782
    When he goes down his local pub ( think it's called " The Lying Bastard) he sings karaoke on a Friday night. His favourite song to sing is Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris.
     
    dadgad, wingy, mrtrench and 1 other person like this.
  8. Esoterica

    Esoterica Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,215
    Likes Received:
    1,715
    Tim was a champion equestrian throughout his youth winning many 1st place rosettes for three-day eventing on his childhood horse 'Waddle', ironically named after his favourite ever Sheffield Wednesday player. Tim's progress towards becoming a future Olympian was cruelly curtailed when, during a friendly game of polo, he was tragically struck by lightning. Despite surviving unscathed the strike triggered an allergy to horses, confounding the country's top medical experts and putting an end to his equestrian dreams.
     
  9. Moff

    Moff Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    4,733
    Likes Received:
    3,727
    Tims twin is a huge sack of shit.
     
  10. Irish Sky Blue

    Irish Sky Blue Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2014
    Messages:
    888
    Likes Received:
    1,258
    Identical?
     
  11. Moff

    Moff Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    4,733
    Likes Received:
    3,727
    Practically, but as its mute it doesn't lie as much as Tim
     
  12. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    2,833
    He's secretly an expert carpenter, his speciality being the form and function of a chair. His dream has always been to run a carpentry and modern chair design business called 'The Chairman'.
     
  13. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    2,833
    His favourite snack is otters noses and coal marinaded in relegation tears.
     
    Moff and Dhinsa's_Millions like this.
  14. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    2,833
    He once thought he saw Tom Jones on Oxford Street but it wasn't and he's never got over it.
     
    cov4theprem and mrtrench like this.
  15. Terry Gibson's perm

    Terry Gibson's perm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2014
    Messages:
    7,165
    Likes Received:
    1,765
    The real Tim Fisher died in mysterious circumstances two years ago and has been secretly replaced by Orange Ken
     
  16. weecohawena

    weecohawena Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2016
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    122
    He is one of only two surviving Tims.

    The other being Tim Peake, brother of FA Cup winner, Trevor.
     
    rob9872, RegTheDonk, mrtrench and 2 others like this.
  17. DionDublinsJockstrap

    DionDublinsJockstrap Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2013
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    53
    He once had a mouse
    Who didn't have a house
    He didn't know why he called him Gerald
     
    mrtrench likes this.
  18. Ranjit Bhurpa

    Ranjit Bhurpa Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2015
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    304
    Tim was born in Newark, the only place in the UK that is an anagram of wanker.
     
    Moff, Chipfat, rob9872 and 4 others like this.
  19. Warwickhunt

    Warwickhunt Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    1,504
    Likes Received:
    278
    Ah! So that is where Tim Lovejoy originates from then?
     
    bawtryneal and wingy like this.
  20. mrtrench

    mrtrench Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Messages:
    2,590
    Likes Received:
    776
    Despite having been picked up on it in every interview, to this day Tim claims on his CV to have "invented Pythagoras's Theorem"

    The first thing Tim says to people when he meets them for the first time is to tell them how old he is.
     
  21. Esoterica

    Esoterica Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,215
    Likes Received:
    1,715
    It's not unusual.
     
    wingy likes this.
  22. dadgad

    dadgad Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Messages:
    2,110
    Likes Received:
    144
    Tim's Towers is also called 'alternative reality' - he has a lab where he's created a parallel universe where top is bottom and bottom is top. In it Ccfc are about to win the intergalactic super cup and he is adored by fans who only argue about how big his statue should be.
     
    ccfcme likes this.
  23. wingy

    wingy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2011
    Messages:
    18,355
    Likes Received:
    5,178
    He's so hirsute, he was fondly referred to as 'Minge' at University.
    He didn't however, ever get over not making the Eight on the water V Cambridge.
    The Coxless pair was scant consolation.
     
  24. CCFC54321

    CCFC54321 Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2016
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    176
    When Timmy was a student the first and only thing he won in his life was a nice fancy rosette presented to him for laying the biggest cable in the class measuring in at a whopping 14" in length.

    Tim often 'entertains' guests at his home when he pulls out the rosette and fondly recalls how it was won to the delight and whopping of his admiring followers.

    Proudly known as 'Timmy the shit' to his close friends.
     
  25. Skyblueweeman

    Skyblueweeman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2011
    Messages:
    4,767
    Likes Received:
    3,520
    And the award for weirdest thread of the year goes to...


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  26. mrtrench

    mrtrench Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Messages:
    2,590
    Likes Received:
    776
    You said that about my last thread. I can't win it twice in the same year.
     
    Skyblueweeman and wingy like this.
  27. ccfcway

    ccfcway Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2011
    Messages:
    18,949
    Likes Received:
    7,817
    in 2008, Tims ill-faited business (privately teaching children maths by using animals) went into administration, following Bernard Matthews threat to take tim to court due to comments about how inferior turkeys were to eagles.

    Interestingly, Eddie the Eagle Edwards to this day hasn't commented on Tims teaching methods
     
    DionDublinsJockstrap likes this.
  28. Esoterica

    Esoterica Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,215
    Likes Received:
    1,715
    Tim was once airlifted to hospital: In 2016, after a hard days negotiation over an academy move to Warwick University, Tim stopped off for a pint at The Varsity. Unable to resist the lure of a table of 3 cougars in the corner, Tim splashed out on a fish bowl full of strawberry daiquiri in the hope of wooing one of the lucky ladies. Unfortunately, with the warning signs hidden behind his enormous vessel, Tim missed the step and tripped, falling full length and getting his head wedged firmly in the fish bowl. Despite the best attempts of all the other patrons, due to his size, Mr Fisher had to be airlifted to hospital where the flagon was eventually removed. Despite seemingly suffering no immediate complications, dramatic weight loss ensued puzzling multiple doctors until it was finally diagnosed that, at the point of that fateful trip, Tim had accidently swallowed one of the curly straws which remained lodged in his oesophagus. Proud of his new body image, he opted to leave the straw in place and to this day remains on a liquid diet. Tim does, however, also remain single.
     
    bawtryneal and wingy like this.
  29. JonSilletBang

    JonSilletBang Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    17
    Tim still enjoys mothers milk. Bitty.
     
    wingy likes this.
  30. weecohawena

    weecohawena Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2016
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    122
    Tim named his business Calimere Point after the location where he lost his viginity, aged 34.
     
    singers_pore likes this.
  31. ccfcway

    ccfcway Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2011
    Messages:
    18,949
    Likes Received:
    7,817
    Tims mother, Carrie Fisher asked George Lucas if Tim could make a guest appearance in Star Wars, the Phantom Menace.

    When the original actor pencilled in to play Chewbaca was taken ill due to food poisioning, Tim stood in and played the wookie for 2 days. Tim struck up a friendship with Jabba the Hut, who can to this day be seen visiting Tim and his family at their holiday home caravan in Camber Sands
     
  32. Liquid Gold

    Liquid Gold Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2013
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    2,833
    He secretly responds to all the spam emails about penis enlargement. One of the scams was a success and he now has an 11ft dong. This means he's unable to copulate with anything but a blue whale hence his sad eyes.
     
    Esoterica and singers_pore like this.
  33. JonSilletBang

    JonSilletBang Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    17
    A young Tim could often be seen burning ants with a magnifying glass, pulling the legs off Daddy Longlegs, and generally torturing insects. He gained the nickname Timmy the Torturer.

    The snot nosed little urchin was growing up fast, his lust for inflicting pain and misery on defenceless creatures was not enough. He needed more. He needed to see despair and tortured confusion on the faces of human victims. Chinese burns, wet willies, wedgies, and hot taps were now his weapons of choice. At school he was the 'Daddy', but the creepiest of teachers pets at the same time...

    Throughout his school years he bullied the weak and charmed the powerful. This behaviour continued throughout his further education, the potting shed became his torture den, the weaker students lured at recess and subjected to vile depravity and ritual humiliation.

    Now a graduate, Tim knew that the torture of individuals was not enough to satisfy his ever growing need for inflicting misery. He needed more. He needed like minded individuals, groups of people with a common interest, to build up there hopes and dreams, then violently crush them. To laugh in their faces, to rub fist fulls of rock salt into the open wounds.

    He drove north, rain lashing his Skoda Superb. He saw a red glow in the distance, voices singing loud and proud in the night sky. Young and old with clear passion. Tim's lip quivered. His beige coat flapped in the breeze. He had found his victim.
     
  34. CCFC54321

    CCFC54321 Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2016
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    176
    Tim is in negotiations with NASA on the sale of Lunar bricks for the forthcoming mission to Mars.

    Perhaps Tim could donate a few for the new stadium?
     
  35. Skyblueweeman

    Skyblueweeman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2011
    Messages:
    4,767
    Likes Received:
    3,520
    Is everyone on LSD?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     

Share This Page