Friends in England, May is now forming a government with the help of the Democratic Unionist Party (the 'democratic' bit of the name is a hilarious joke - those guys). You may not be familiar with these fellows, so as a public service, let me introduce you to them as we muddle through this historic day...
By way of general introduction, the DUP are anti-equal marriage, anti-choice and pro-Brexit. The party was founded by Ian Paisley Snr and has a strong Presbyterian backbone (and we know how much fun those guys are!). But let's meet some of the individuals...
Jeffrey Donaldson - worked as constituency agent for Enoch Powell. I don't think I need to say anything else.
Sammy "I don't care if [gays] are ratepayers. As far as I am concerned they are perverts" Wilson. Doesn't believe in man made climate change. Basically, he is our very own Trump. But deeper orange. He described women who breastfed in the House of Commons as exhibitionists.
Gregory Campbell thinks he is hilarious in mocking the Irish language in a sort of 1970s sitcom style. OK, probably most of you won't give a shite about that, but it annoyed me!
Emma Pengelly. She opposes the extension of the 1967 Act to NI and supports the criminalisation of women who seek terminations in NI. She is a treat.
David Simpson. A creationist. Ffs. This twat even used the tired "Adam and Steve" quote in the House of Commons during the debate on equal marriage (which he voted against, of course).
Ian Paisley Jr. He doesn't hate gay people, just what they do.
Paul Girvan. A chap more than happy to allow the Irish flag to be burnt atop bonfires on the inglorious 11th. He is also a big fan on conscience clauses, ie, statutory protection for discrimination on religious grounds.
Jim Shannon. The Stella Artois of the gang. In 2015, Jim claimed £205,798 in expenses. Excluding travel. Apparently, he is just really busy. Also thought that the marriage equality bill (as was) might lead to a "chilling effect on free speech". He is concerned to protect religious freedom, which in and of itself is not an issue, but what the DUP actually wants for religious rights to prevail over others.
I think that probably gives you a flavour. As of 12.30pm today, these people have a place at the table on the decisions affecting your lives. Glad you are finally joining us!
From an Irish friend of a friend