Bad joke corner (2 Viewers)

[redsox]

A man goes into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm. He asks 'Do you sell fish cakes here?'
'No' was the reply. 'Shame, it's his birthday.'

My current bad joke, have you got any that are worse???

 

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[redsox]

If a man talks in a forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? :wave:

 

[redsox]

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.:laugh:

Sorry I'll stop ......for now!!

 

[redsox]

Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He said to the bartender, "I'd like a martinus." The bartender, a little confused, says, don't you mean a martini?" Caesar replied, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it."

:laugh: ok so I lied!!

 

[covladzak]

Keep them going you made my day...

 

[redsox]

David Icke DVDs use special Region Codes which make them only playable in the homes of insane people

 

[redsox]

Rick Astley has just been round, wanting to borrow my Pixar collection. I said, "I can give you Wall-E, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc & Cars, but I'm never going to give you Up". lol:laugh:

 

[redsox]

I have animal magnetism.......When I go outside, squirrels stick to my clothes!

 

[redsox]

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance ?

 

[redsox]

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

 

[redsox]

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

 

[redsox]

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.:laugh:

 

[redsox]

A teacher at a school for obese children has been sacked for taking cocaine. He was given away by his massive pupils. )

 

[redsox]

The Tories are to invest in a revolutionary Spaghetti delivery service to show their support for the first pasta post system.:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[redsox]

I wouldn't touch the imperial measuring system with a 3.048m barge pole...

 

[redsox]

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything...

 

[redsox]

A man was found hanging in a hotel room wearing a Villa shirt, high-heels and fishnet stockings, and there was a large dildo inserted in his arse. Police have removed the Villa shirt to save his family any embarrassment... :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[redsox]

An insecure friend of mine said the other day, "everyone hates me!"
"Don't be daft," I reassured him. "Everyone hasn't met you yet..."

 

[redsox]

People who live in glass houses shouldn't wank with the lights on...:slap:

 

[redsox]

I've just seen that Suggs bloke on telly having a go at all those people who have a go at people wearing turbans. It's Madness gone politically correct!

 

[redsox]

A woman goes to a gynaecologist. Whilst examining her, the doctor asks, "So, have you ever had a check up here before?" She replies, "No, but I have had some Germans and an Austrian.":laugh:

 

[redsox]

A friend of mine married an East European and was complaining his unhappiness with the speed she did the housework. I replied ' well you did marry a Slovak! '

 

[redsox]

What do you call a woman with two dicks?

N-Dubz :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[redsox]

Abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers...

 

[redsox]

I see Birmingham is getting ready for the Olympics. The town centre is full of people wandering around in tracksuits, taking drugs and struggling to speak English....:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[redsox]

If a tree falls in a forest and there's no one there to hear it, is Robbie Williams still a twat?

 

[redsox]

Time for gratuitous shot of woman shaving her beaver.......

 

[skybluedan]

today i brought some sausages from sainsburys they had a picture of jaime oliver on them and on the back it says prick with a fork,thought cant argue with that

 

[redsox]

today i brought some sausages from sainsburys they had a picture of jaime oliver on them and on the back it says prick with a fork,thought cant argue with that

pukka :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[covladzak]

Great stuff matey... Thank You!

 

[redsox]

Glad to be of service:wave: (nothing at all to do with being bored at work!!!!.........mmmmmm)

 

[redsox]

My gran joined a local help group for old people with arthritis and rheumatism. She soon left though - it was too clicky.

 

[Coventry La La La]

these jokes are very bad indeed

 

[redsox]

these jokes are very bad indeed

That's what I was going for, lol:laugh:

 

[Nelson]

Two Antennas got married - the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.