The Hedgehog Fund Approach To Property
A guide written by Ms Shadow Director
Chapter One: How to acquire property the Hedgehog Fund way
You spot a new property with plenty of opportunity for expansion, development and ultimately fat profits. One of its tenants is close to liquidation, due to overspending and mismanagement. To get a foothold in the desirable property, simply buy the tenant's business for minimal outlay.
Make extravagant promises on how you'll work hard to turn the tenant's business around. Unfortunately this requires the semblance of capital investment, so give the impression you want to help the business succeed by buying a couple of decent playing staff. After a few months you can sell these players at a profit, replacing them with lesser players. This makes the business broadly viable in the short term and without further major investment. You can also sell young players (which have cost next to nothing) to bigger businesses for 'undisclosed fees' - lovely jubbly!
Meanwhile you can concentrate on acquiring the property by a) refusing to pay rent, b) threatening to liquidate the much-loved business tenant which you own, c) causing the business to fail by being relegated to a lesser league of companies, and d) ultimately moving it to a lesser property over 30 miles away. This distresses both the property you wish to acquire, and the much-loved business you have bought. The property owners in desperation cave in to your demands and sell you the property for next to nothing. Trebles all round.
Chapter Two: How to use the courts to frustrate people who stand up to your underhand tactics
We will talk about failing to file company accounts on time and how this can help your business (especially when you're under a transfer embargo, which means in effect you have a ready made excuse for not signing playing staff) in the next chapter.
This chapter will look at how you can use legal challenges to frustrate businesses that stand in your way. Lets imagine that your landlords take exception to your reasonable action of withholding rent - they want you to uphold the rent agreement you signed, and issue a winding-up order against you. This is easily countered by waiting until the last minute and putting your own company into voluntary liquidation. A major advantage here is that you can appoint your own administrator.
By failing to submit company accounts on time (as I mentioned we'll discuss this in the next chapter) no other bidder will know what they're bidding for and what assets are available. You will therefore be able to become the preferred bidder to buy your own company. Judicial Reviews are also useful to further tie opponents in knots. Quids in - more trebles all round.
Chapter Three: Why failing to submit company accounts on time is desirable
We've already alluded to one advantage here (the 'transfer embargo') yet there are many more. Imagine you have some serious assets in one of your companies, which just happens to be the one threatened by a winding up order. By not submitting accounts on time you can obfuscate matters, while claiming 'beneficial ownership' of assets and making vague statements like saying the accounts are 'in a mess'. This will hopefully confuse all the..............................................................................................................................
etc etc ad nauseam