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In response to their recent elimination from Euro 2024, a couple of teetotalling Germans walk in to a bar to 'drown their sorrows'. What do they order?

Forget the amount of cards - has there ever been a tournament with this amount of OG's?

Ohhhh football magic!!!!

To be fair, go abuse yourselves, Slovakia. This is payback for me (and many others) being assaulted in Bratislava 2002 by your nazi stormtrooper robocop filth. And for siding with Germany in WW2. Other than that I bear no historical grudges.

Kane has clearly had elocution lessons in eradicating the word 'obviously', from interviews.

Top five of the United Kingdom? That means we're just below the Isle of Man.

You should see the way he walks to betfred.

So if he takes off the best penalty taker the nation has ever had, I'm thinking he's thinking we're gonna win this in Extra time. Is this an unprecedented outbreak of positivity from Southgate or just another example of clueless game management?

I can't be arsed to check. Come on my community!

I just missed the goal for Seasick Steve! Who scored?

Seasick Steve to the rescue yet again of an ever increasing shitfest.

In all honesty, given the referee, given the shithousery by the Slovaks, I reckon we just about deserve another half hour at this.

If I was Toney I would look Shitgate firmly in the eye and refuse to come on and tell him "Because I know my international career is gonna be longer than yours". That Bellingham thing was great by the way.

And repeat....

Remember - This is a ground he hasn't scored on before.

Where's a lightening strike on the England 'technical' area when you need one?

Maybe he hasn't - he's exactly nailed the amount of cards.

That challenge on Rice was a straight red!

He's even fucked up his own bet!

Celebrity get me out of here? I wouldn't want to be associated with this shower.