skybluetony176
Well-Known Member
Just wanted to post this link about anxiety for anyone who wants to read it.
Generalised anxiety disorder in adults
Generalised anxiety disorder in adults
This is a fantastic thread.
I have suffered with anxiety at random occasions during my life. Through my teenage years I felt like I spent years suffering with panic attacks for what felt like no reason but around the age of 18 they just stopped.
I turned 27 this year and they randomly came back. Between September and February this year I would say I've been very much out of control of my own body to the point that I felt breathing was no longer natural but more a concious effort. This has been horrible to the point that going to bed was exciting just so I could let go of control of my body.
I've never been one to worry too much about health but I think I've developed some kind of health anxiety and have convinced myself, more so pre Christmas that I have anemia, tumours, heart issues, going blind. It's crazy what my mind was telling me about my body, but I believed it and on some occasions convinced myself I was feeling very real symptoms of the above. It sounds absolutely mental but I'd just convince myself I was going to die.
I seem to be creeping out of all of that now. Breathing is natural again...I have moments where I still think something is up with my heart but my mind seems to be maturing a bit rather than obsessing over it all day.
I joined the Village in November and swim about 3 or 4 times a week. Being in the water just made me feel weightless and gave me a focus for an hour or so which I attribute towards my general recovery. I also take 10 minutes a day to practice mindfulness and focus on my breathing.
I felt like I haven't been able to enjoy anything from September until around the last couple of months really. I have seemed so shut off to my family and friends because all my effort has been concentrated on myself. I think it's so important that whatever the situation, however bad it feels that you just tell yourself that it's going to get better, even if you don't believe it just tell yourself that when you're feeling low. You need someone saying something positive to you whilst your up against the odds of your own mind, even if that someone is yourself.
Right now I feel good and I feel positive.
This is a fantastic thread.
I think it's so important that whatever the situation, however bad it feels that you just tell yourself that it's going to get better, even if you don't believe it just tell yourself that when you're feeling low. You need someone saying something positive to you whilst your up against the odds of your own mind, even if that someone is yourself.
I’ve read that swimming is good for mental wellbeing. Some people especially recommend swimming underwater a lot for anxiety. Apparently to do with breathing, or lack there off so your breathing is slowed right down and the almost swaddling sensation you get from being fully immersed underwater. Must admit I’ve always loved swimming underwater but that’s just the big kid in me but since reading it when ever I go swimming I always make sure I spend as much time as I can swimming under water and find it very relaxing.
This was one of the recommendations the therapist told my daughter.You've pretty much summed up CBT there! Our thoughts affect our feelings and behaviour. Shit thoughts lead to shit feelings and shit behaviour.
One of the most successful CBT techniques is called '3 good things'. Every single evening you write down 3 good things you've done that day. If you're really low, that can be something like 'I got out of bed'. Further along it can be things like 'I made the effort to call a friend and explain why I've been ignoring them'. The point is that you tell yourself that you've done something good, every single day. A lot of people who are low in mood can have spent an awful long time just thinking about all of the 'shit things' they've done. Shit thoughts, shit feelings, shit behaviour.
Isn't it about time you wrote that autobiography BBR? I remember you saying quite some time ago, that you'd like to do it one day. I'm still waiting! I would definitely purchase a copy!Since seeing that psychologist all those years ago I started studying psychology and mind matters. In my "mad"years I'd act before thinking, if I felt slighted the person would get punched without a second thought, which obviously led to more violence. Even when I was inside I'd be even worse lost time for fighting, spent days in the block. But just by thinking differently it changed things, it may sound corny, but everything we do starts by a thought. But in prison you get by in your own way, my way then was by fighting, which is negative thinking. I wish i knew all this back then !
Never knew about that underwater thing, I used to love it. Me and the mrs go swimming, I think I might start doing it again
I read your book Houch as you know. I'm going to write a football book, but a mate and my sister reckon I should do a book on my past experiences etc. Got a lot to write about. I could write a book just on my prison time !Isn't it about time you wrote that autobiography BBR? I remember you saying quite some time ago, that you'd like to do it one day. I'm still waiting! I would definitely purchase a copy!
I read your book Houch as you know. I'm going to write a football book, but a mate and my sister reckon I should do a book on my past experiences etc. Got a lot to write about. I could write a book just on my prison time !
You've pretty much summed up CBT there! Our thoughts affect our feelings and behaviour. Shit thoughts lead to shit feelings and shit behaviour.
One of the most successful CBT techniques is called '3 good things'. Every single evening you write down 3 good things you've done that day. If you're really low, that can be something like 'I got out of bed'. Further along it can be things like 'I made the effort to call a friend and explain why I've been ignoring them'. The point is that you tell yourself that you've done something good, every single day. A lot of people who are low in mood can have spent an awful long time just thinking about all of the 'shit things' they've done. Shit thoughts, shit feelings, shit behaviour.
I've struggled with anxiety for around ten years on and off. Started off with an obsession about something absolutely horrendous happening to one of my children. Welcome to the awful world of OCD.
People use it as a throw away comment. Ahh he keeps washing his hands, OCD that is.
No its fucking not. OCD is truly harrowing. Having to hug your child for fear of something terrible happening to them, when rationally, they're in no danger.
The OCD then goes hand in hand with the anxiety. Constant distress. Its numbing.
I've learnt to deal with it, and taught myself that it's all in my own mind. And it's me that controls my own mind.
Thankfully I've been good for around 18 months. It's always there though, hidden away in a box, in my brain. Determined to stay happy and healthy.
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I had a couple of sessions of it and it did nothing.
Here's a thought book, write good things down in etc. She wasn't listening to what I was telling her and wanted me to just write certain things down all the time and it wasn't doing anything.
It just made me angrier and more annoyed.
It's not unusual for it to take a while to find a suitable therapist. For it to work, you need a rapport.
OCD is another condition that’s massively misunderstood and used flippantly to describe someone who’s just tidy. Unfortunately I know someone like yourself who genuinely has the condition and like you it’s manifested itself around a fear of something happening to her children. She’s in a situation where if she doesn’t hoover the house X number of times a day something might happen to her children. She had severe post natal depression and as she recovered from that the OCD stepped into the space. Like you she’s found a way to cope and she’s doing good.
OCD is another condition that’s massively misunderstood and used flippantly to describe someone who’s just tidy. Unfortunately I know someone like yourself who genuinely has the condition and like you it’s manifested itself around a fear of something happening to her children. She’s in a situation where if she doesn’t hoover the house X number of times a day something might happen to her children. She had severe post natal depression and as she recovered from that the OCD stepped into the space. Like you she’s found a way to cope and she’s doing good.
I once wrote articles on a writers site about my window cleaning experiences, they were popular. Maybe a book on that could be interesting?If you have stories to tell then tell them, and do it right away. Get the fire going, get the words on paper, reminisce, laugh and cry and everything inbetween while you write. There's no reason to delay. People say they'll write a book, and wait and wait and wait for inspiration, but it never comes. You have to go out and grab it by its fucking neck Here's a guarantee for you. If you do it, I'll buy it*.
*Subject to a maximum cost of £9.99
Finding that place in your mind that can cope with these awful feelings is really hard, so fair play to her.
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Haven't you already done that one under an assumed name? :emoji_smile:I once wrote articles on a writers site about my window cleaning experiences, they were popular. Maybe a book on that could be interesting?
Mine's only £8.80!If you have stories to tell then tell them, and do it right away. Get the fire going, get the words on paper, reminisce, laugh and cry and everything inbetween while you write. There's no reason to delay. People say they'll write a book, and wait and wait and wait for inspiration, but it never comes. You have to go out and grab it by its fucking neck Here's a guarantee for you. If you do it, I'll buy it*.
*Subject to a maximum cost of £9.99
I've learnt that I can control how I feel. I make a decision to feel happy, and I work my hardest to make it happen. It took a long time to get to the place where I could do it. Is it easy? Not always. But I can drive my own feelings in the direction that I want. I can motivate myself, build a fire in my belly, make myself smile. Major life events can make it difficult, for sure, and they can try to swamp the feel good factor at times, but I know that I can regain control. It's a mindset. At the end of the day, the only person you can try rely on to turn your life around is yourself. The only person stopping you doing it is yourself.
You can start small. Do one thing today that future you will be thankful for. Clean the dishes so future you doesn't have to do it in the morning. Put a load of washing on so future you has something clean to wear. Tidy your shit away so future you can feel at peace when they get home from work tomorrow. Get the you in the here and now to do future you a favour, and do it every damn day, and I guarantee that you'll feel in control, at peace, and a heck of a lot happier.
That's very valuable advice. Especially for people with depression or young people with no direction in their lives.
Jordan Peterson talks quite a lot about this kind of thing.
Don't see it as a burden at all about something like this. You might feel better for posting.I keep typing a post up on here, but then keep changing my mind and deleting them. I never, ever wish to be a burden upon anyone.
Well done everyone for coming out and being honest and so open about everything.
Hats off to you all.
Yeah, touche. I burden everyone else with those don't I.Don't see it as a burden at all about something like this. You might feel better for posting.
Your jokes however
I keep typing a post up on here, but then keep changing my mind and deleting them. I never, ever wish to be a burden upon anyone.
Well done everyone for coming out and being honest and so open about everything.
Hats off to you all.
Yeah, touche. I burden everyone else with those don't I.
a 40 year old dog is, yes.Is that abnormal?
When me and my mate Mick first started window cleaning I was amazed at the "behaviour" of some women customers. Very flirty and a few were downright filthy, they said stuff to us that would have made the local vicar blush ! I met my missus on the round, but I fancied her mate who was always round her house, as she was a right tease. But me and Mick had some great laughs on the round as he was a funny bloke who made the customers laugh. Sadly he passed away too young at 46 but what a character he was.Haven't you already done that one under an assumed name? :emoji_smile:
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Great post and agree with all you say, especially where you say it takes more than a year to get over the loss of someone close to you. I too, lost someone close. One of my sisters was killed in a car smash in 1972. She was just 23 at the time and left behind a husband and three beautiful kiddies. Even now, 47 years later, I still can't get over her loss. We were very close. I'm still in touch with two of her children (now both in their 40's) and her daughter is now a paramedic, which makes me feel really proud. They never knew their mum but ask me all the time about her life and what she was like.This is more personal than I intended it to be, but I think it adds some context to my previous post.
My mum passed away at the turn of the century. I spent a year drinking, trying (and usually failing) to womanise, self destructing in every way I could think of. I was young, had no job, had to move to a place where I knew no-one, had no hopes, no money, no friends, no girlfriend. I had fuck all. My dreams had died when she did.
Then someone in a pub told me, rather bluntly, that a year was long enough to be wallowing in self pity and that I should apply for a certain job that was available in Birmingham. I didn't want to. For a start, a year isn't long enough to grieve. A lifetime isn't. Plus the job sounded boring, and it meant I'd have to give up sleeping in until midday and cracking open another bottle of Southern Comfort as soon as my eyes opened and chain smoking fags until my eyeballs stung. The only reason I went to the interview was because somewhere deep down I knew I had to make a change. It's a cliche, but if you do what you've always done, you get what you've always got.
And here I am, 20 years later, working in the same industry, in a job I love, with people who respect me and see me as a role model, with a family that I love and who love me just as much. I'm well aware that inside, deep inside, is still the same teenager who feels like his life is fucked up. Who feels like he's letting his mum down. But I'm not. I'm doing a fucking good job of living. Of being happy. Of living a fulfilling life. I've worked hard to get myself here, and I'm not stopping now.
Our past defines us, but it doesn't have to be the only measuring stick. You can move forward. For some people it takes finding that spark that's barely alight, for others medication or therapy helps, maybe you just need someone, anyone, to listen or point you in the right direction. What you were isn't what you are, it isn't what you can be. Reading that back, it sounds like hippy bullshit, but it really isn't. You can make your life your own, starting right now.
I'm happy to message anyone on here about anything they want to talk about, because talking - and having someone to listen - can be the first step of the journey. No matter how bad things seem, no matter how much you feel like there's no way to move forward, there is. There really is. After all, we've managed to survive 100% of the shittiest days in our life so far, and that's a damn good success rate.
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