In this, the 21st century, it is just bizarre.just wrong how women entitled to so much after a failed marriage. dont get it
Sorry Shmmeee, you might already have answered this, but have sought legal advice yet?
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THAT looks like a plan!Hi Shmmee. I'm a bit of a lurker on the forums in general and have only just stumbled across this thread, and feel I can input as I've been through it in a very similar situation (but without the kids). My ex-wife was fine until her Mum got in her ear and then it all went to shit and the word "fair" lost all meaning. I put her through Uni, paid every bill, including the mortgage on the house (NOT from a joint account) and contributed everything (including the cleaning and cooking, if I'm feeling honest about it all) and paying for the mediators (who were from Cov and very good - referred by CAB) . Now the good news, so to speak.
Weigh up the monetary cost vs the lack of stress. It took me ages and I felt worn down, but in retrospect I should have done it almost instantly. Simply find out what she wants. Get it in writing through somebody legal. Take a long hard look and stop thinking about the time, tears, sweat and stress you put in previously. It's just a number on a piece of paper, and some stuff. Disassociate yourself. Half and half? No problem - ask to be bought out of the house (should be easily done if you've increased the value with repairs and investment) and then MOVE ON!!!!! Every penny you feel aggrieved to give away is ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT to be free of future encumbrances and months of resentment building up. The only thing to be concerned about is your kids. That's it. Get that in writing at the same time to ensure 50/50.
50/50 is the absolute best you can hope for, so don't quibble over objects and numbers. Get it done, and done quickly. Release the burden as soon as you can and rebuild yourself and your life with your kids before it all becomes poisoned (and it WILL if you let it).
Yes, she is isn't she.Sorry to hear you're going through a hard time...I know from my own experience how devastating a break up can be. I know it's a cliché and hard to believe at the moment but you will come out of it stronger and happier. After a break up of a 5 year relationship I found it difficult for a while but I can honestly say now I'm with a woman much better for me, younger and better looking.
Watch this video. And try and remember it.
Didn't Shmmeee say it was all resolved and back to happy coupling?God, this is longer ago than I thught!
Anyway, just wondered if this all sorted itself out? (Yes, I know it's a bit odd to wonder about a random pseudonym on a random message board but, hey...)
No idea, that's why I was askingDidn't Shmmeee say it was all resolved and back to happy coupling?
Sure he posted it in the thread when he said he was moving to Southampton and he said his family were moving with him.No idea, that's why I was asking
Missus has just told me she wants a divorce. Been together 13 years, married for 4.5.
Anyone who has been through it?
Got any advice?
The only winners in divorce are the effing lawyers who accused me of all sorts of things when l got divorced in 2005, and mine took most of my savings in their fees. £250 an hour just to draft letters that l often had to amend to correct spelling and grammatical errors. If, sadly, you and your wife are going to divorce then try to do it amicably BUT get whatever you agree put into a formal agreement.Missus has just told me she wants a divorce. Been together 13 years, married for 4.5.
Anyone who has been through it?
Got any advice?
Well, this thread is relevant again.
What's happened?
Hopefully this time the gun backfires and she shoots herself in the face.We’ve been back together for the last 6 months or so, got into a fight about money (she’s not been working for a couple of months) and she pulled the trigger again.
Yeah, good luck.Don't lose heart, Shmmeee. A row over money can be amicably resolved if both sides want that.
However... having a divorce card pulled twice in six months isn't great.Don't lose heart, Shmmeee. A row over money can be amicably resolved if both sides want that.
Yep. Agree with all of that and though the argument may be over money, that may just be on the surface and it's something much deeper or a reinforcement of what was wrong previously in her eyes.However... having a divorce card pulled twice in six months isn't great.
I know nobody wants a harbinger of doom, but you probably need to ask if this is just a blackmail, a surface excuse when she wants an excuse to leave etc. The emotional turmoil every now and again is worse thasn just getting it done with, so best to find out what she *really* wants.
We’ve been back together for the last 6 months or so, got into a fight about money (she’s not been working for a couple of months) and she pulled the trigger again.
Did you ever come back?Is there a chance of working it out, as in, does she flip out regularly like that? If so, try and work through it.
If not... Go the fuck down to STA travel and book yourself a trip to the other side of the world. Worked for me when things went to shit with my ex.
Did you ever come back?
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