Fulfilling Your Potential ? (2 Viewers)

bringbackrattles · Sep 25, 2019

Been talking about an ex City player on Twitter today Bobby Parker. He used to live by Cardinal Wiseman fields growing up, and would join in our kick abouts there. He ended up playing for Cov City and captained England's youth team too. But his career tailed off and he ended up at Carlisle and faded away from the limelight. Got me thinking. Do you reckon you have fulfilled your potential in a chosen career, or in life ? Or have you also failed and ended up frustrated at what could have been ?

Astute · Sep 25, 2019

bringbackrattles said:
Been talking about an ex City player on Twitter today Bobby Parker. He used to live by Cardinal Wiseman fields growing up, and would join in our kick abouts there. He ended up playing for Cov City and captained England's youth team too. But his career tailed off and he ended up at Carlisle and faded away from the limelight. Got me thinking. Do you reckon you have fulfilled your potential in a chosen career, or in life ? Or have you also failed and ended up frustrated at what could have been ?

It is something we will never know.

I have never failed at anything I have tried. Sometimes things take full effort and more. But determination has always got me what I wanted.

I once failed a job interview. I was gobsmacked. So I called and asked why. She said it was because they wanted someone long term and not someone like me who would be off once I found something better. Couldn't argue with her. :smuggrin:

But I have never pushed myself hard. I wanted to be either a solicitor or maths teacher but couldn't afford uni. I became a mechanical engineer as I could work at the same time although it gave me no spare time for years.

My next aim has been to retire at 55. That has been the hardest challenge out of the lot. No posh holidays. No new cars. But we have had fun on the way. But in all the years we have been together we have only ever had two weekends away together without kids. One in France and one in a hotel half an hour away. One celebrated ten years the other twenty years. Both are distant memories.

Off to visit wife and kids in France next week. We are having a night away together without kids. Thirty years is coming up :woot:

You don't need big targets. You need realistic targets and have a good plan. Then give it your best shot. Just over three n half years to retirement. Sod shooting for the stars. Saving up for over thirty years has been hard enough.

Gazolba · Sep 25, 2019

When we are born, I think we all have virtually unlimited potential.
Probably the biggest influence on whether we achieve our full potential is our parents and our upbringing.
They start moulding us into what we will eventually become.
That's not to say you can't overcome a less than ideal beginning but it's always the foundation on which your achievements stand.
So, no I don't think I achieved anything like my full potential, and probably most people don't due to poor parenting.
But it may not be that importannt so long as you are reasonably happy with what you have achieved.
Life is mainly about choices, you choose one path at the expense of other possible paths.
You can't follow every path that is laid out in front of you.

shmmeee · Sep 25, 2019

Oh God no. Found girls and drugs and tanked between year 8 and 11. All indicators up to that point put me on a track to Oxbridge and a lucrative career. Fucked that right up and ended up graduating from Cov uni and sticking around Cov.

But have had some great experiences I wouldn’t change and met people who have given me a fresh insight on life that I’m grateful for.

Astute said:
It is something we will never know.

I have never failed at anything I have tried. Sometimes things take full effort and more. But determination has always got me what I wanted.

I once failed a job interview. I was gobsmacked. So I called and asked why. She said it was because they wanted someone long term and not someone like me who would be off once I found something better. Couldn't argue with her. :smuggrin:

But I have never pushed myself hard. I wanted to be either a solicitor or maths teacher but couldn't afford uni. I became a mechanical engineer as I could work at the same time although it gave me no spare time for years.

My next aim has been to retire at 55. That has been the hardest challenge out of the lot. No posh holidays. No new cars. But we have had fun on the way. But in all the years we have been together we have only ever had two weekends away together without kids. One in France and one in a hotel half an hour away. One celebrated ten years the other twenty years. Both are distant memories.

Off to visit wife and kids in France next week. We are having a night away together without kids. Thirty years is coming up :woot:

You don't need big targets. You need realistic targets and have a good plan. Then give it your best shot. Just over three n half years to retirement. Sod shooting for the stars. Saving up for over thirty years has been hard enough.

If you’ve never failed have you ever actually pushed yourself?

Sick Boy · Sep 25, 2019

Astute said:
It is something we will never know.

I have never failed at anything I have tried. Sometimes things take full effort and more. But determination has always got me what I wanted.

I once failed a job interview. I was gobsmacked. So I called and asked why. She said it was because they wanted someone long term and not someone like me who would be off once I found something better. Couldn't argue with her. :smuggrin:

But I have never pushed myself hard. I wanted to be either a solicitor or maths teacher but couldn't afford uni. I became a mechanical engineer as I could work at the same time although it gave me no spare time for years.

My next aim has been to retire at 55. That has been the hardest challenge out of the lot. No posh holidays. No new cars. But we have had fun on the way. But in all the years we have been together we have only ever had two weekends away together without kids. One in France and one in a hotel half an hour away. One celebrated ten years the other twenty years. Both are distant memories.

Off to visit wife and kids in France next week. We are having a night away together without kids. Thirty years is coming up :woot:

You don't need big targets. You need realistic targets and have a good plan. Then give it your best shot. Just over three n half years to retirement. Sod shooting for the stars. Saving up for over thirty years has been hard enough.

I know we take each other to task quite often but fair play to you!

Astute · Sep 25, 2019

shmmeee said:
If you’ve never failed have you ever actually pushed yourself?

Of course I have pushed myself. But I have never pushed myself with impossible targets. Working sixty hours or more a week then also studying full time at the same time isn't pushing myself?

What do you count as hard enough? Push until you fail? A few things I have done in life didn't happen first time. Perseverance and effort eventually wins. I suppose I could have always given up and shown myself to have taken myself to the limit and failed.

Covstu · Sep 26, 2019

I think I am still working at my potential. I have recently resigned from my job as I felt I was getting stale. Got a promotion and a large increase so it’s great but I felt that I wasn’t growing anymore and it was the same old same old. It’s a risk of course but also a great opportunity.

I think finding your potential is difficult and probably impossible to quantify but for me you need to ask yourself ‘are you happy with your lot?’. For me I have a nice house, married and 2 great kids plus a new job to look forward to. I can say yes but equally at some stage the job might not be important or the nice car etc.
The issue is social media and the ‘look what I have’ culture where it puts unnecessary pressure on others to match or beat these types of people.

shmmeee · Sep 26, 2019

Astute said:
Of course I have pushed myself. But I have never pushed myself with impossible targets. Working sixty hours or more a week then also studying full time at the same time isn't pushing myself?

What do you count as hard enough? Push until you fail? A few things I have done in life didn't happen first time. Perseverance and effort eventually wins. I suppose I could have always given up and shown myself to have taken myself to the limit and failed.

It’s something I think about. I’ve always been a big fish in a small pond and wonder if I’ve truly found my limits if I’ve never really failed. I strongly believe growth comes from failure.

It’s not really about giving up, more reaching your limits. As an analogy, if you lift weights and have never failed a rep you aren’t lifting enough.

Mcbean · Sep 26, 2019

It’s about self fulfilment and whether you judge you did ok - i worked hard for 37 years with the same company and worked my way up to a level at the end where people had respect for my experience - was a golden rule not to fall out with anyone - as in a large company those get found out in the the end and leave it or are pushed out so don’t waste your energy

to go further at that point ( 37 years) I would have needed my work / life balance to change and I felt I had done my bit - struggling a little with retirement but that will come !

Covstu · Sep 26, 2019

shmmeee said:
It’s something I think about. I’ve always been a big fish in a small pond and wonder if I’ve truly found my limits if I’ve never really failed. I strongly believe growth comes from failure.

It’s not really about giving up, more reaching your limits. As an analogy, if you lift weights and have never failed a rep you aren’t lifting enough.

But equally you may choose to not push yourself to extremes and enjoy life stress free. Yes you won’t be rich but rich can come in different ways

SBAndy · Sep 26, 2019

Astute said:
Of course I have pushed myself. But I have never pushed myself with impossible targets. Working sixty hours or more a week then also studying full time at the same time isn't pushing myself?

What do you count as hard enough? Push until you fail? A few things I have done in life didn't happen first time. Perseverance and effort eventually wins. I suppose I could have always given up and shown myself to have taken myself to the limit and failed.

The point is that you have failed if some things didn’t happen first time around, but you decided to keep trying. As shmmeee says, failure leads to growth if you have the right mindset.

Astute · Sep 26, 2019

Covstu said:
I think I am still working at my potential. I have recently resigned from my job as I felt I was getting stale. Got a promotion and a large increase so it’s great but I felt that I wasn’t growing anymore and it was the same old same old. It’s a risk of course but also a great opportunity.

I think finding your potential is difficult and probably impossible to quantify but for me you need to ask yourself ‘are you happy with your lot?’. For me I have a nice house, married and 2 great kids plus a new job to look forward to. I can say yes but equally at some stage the job might not be important or the nice car etc.
The issue is social media and the ‘look what I have’ culture where it puts unnecessary pressure on others to match or beat these types of people.

Good luck to you in the future.

You are right to take the risk if not happy. But once you reach your 40's you have to start being more careful. It starts to get harder to get a better job. I made my last big move at 39. I moved my family 200 miles so I could take up a new challenge. My wife had to give up her job. So I decided we might as well have a couple more kids :smuggrin: Friends and family thought I was mad. I had a good job I enjoyed but I needed a challenge. The winning reason was it is a great part of the country to live. Pay was a bit better but had nothing to do with the decision. Then about three years after moving the place I moved from shut and everyone was made redundant. So ended up being a very good move.

shmmeee · Sep 26, 2019

Covstu said:
But equally you may choose to not push yourself to extremes and enjoy life stress free. Yes you won’t be rich but rich can come in different ways

or course. Not everyone wants to reach their potential. As I say just something I’ve been thinking about as I rapidly approach 40

Astute · Sep 26, 2019

shmmeee said:
It’s something I think about. I’ve always been a big fish in a small pond and wonder if I’ve truly found my limits if I’ve never really failed. I strongly believe growth comes from failure.

It’s not really about giving up, more reaching your limits. As an analogy, if you lift weights and have never failed a rep you aren’t lifting enough.

Been there done that. Had all the responsibilities. Phone calls at one in the morning at work.

To me you need to push yourself until you are happy. You know when you have arrived. I now go to work with a smile on my face. I enjoy my job. Why would I want to push harder to get somewhere I am not happy? And best of all I don't have lots of responsibility. Well not responsibility of others at least. But it is a very resposible job. But once I leave the factory gate I can forget about it until I am back for my next shift. But if I get my job wrong I can stop the whole plant. Enough to keep me sharp but also be able to relax.

I enjoy my job so much that I have done 108 hours of overtime so far this month and gone in each day with a smile on my face :smug:

Astute · Sep 26, 2019

SBAndy said:
The point is that you have failed if some things didn’t happen first time around, but you decided to keep trying. As shmmeee says, failure leads to growth if you have the right mindset.

Failed to me is not being able to do something. If you finally manage it how can you have failed?

shmmeee · Sep 26, 2019

Astute said:
Been there done that. Had all the responsibilities. Phone calls at one in the morning at work.

To me you need to push yourself until you are happy. You know when you have arrived. I now go to work with a smile on my face. I enjoy my job. Why would I want to push harder to get somewhere I am not happy? And best of all I don't have lots of responsibility. Well not responsibility of others at least. But it is a very resposible job. But once I leave the factory gate I can forget about it until I am back for my next shift. But if I get my job wrong I can stop the whole plant. Enough to keep me sharp but also be able to relax.

I enjoy my job so much that I have done 108 hours of overtime so far this month and gone in each day with a smile on my face :smug:

Yeah same, was Head of Department when my first was born and missed most of them growing up, in at 7, out at 8, working evenings and weekends. Made a conscious decision not to when the second came along.

Now in a job I love and doesn’t feel like work I find myself not even realising it’s hit 6pm on days I haven’t got to be out for the kids. The old saying is true: find a job you love and never work a day in your life.

Astute · Sep 26, 2019

shmmeee said:
or course. Not everyone wants to reach their potential. As I say just something I’ve been thinking about as I rapidly approach 40

You had better hurry up then. You are in your peak years for getting a good job. Lots of experience and still some good years ahead of you. But once you reach your 40's you are seen differently. I am now 51 now. Fitter and stronger than most. But on a piece of paper I am still in my 50's. I am always taken as being younger. But when applying for jobs I would just be another in their 50's when there are many other applicants much younger. So my place is stuck with me.

Astute · Sep 26, 2019

shmmeee said:
Yeah same, was Head of Department when my first was born and missed most of them growing up, in at 7, out at 8, working evenings and weekends. Made a conscious decision not to when the second came along.

Now in a job I love and doesn’t feel like work I find myself not even realising it’s hit 6pm on days I haven’t got to be out for the kids. The old saying is true: find a job you love and never work a day in your life.

A question for you.

You love your job. If the pay is good enough why would you risk it for a job you might not even like?

It isn't about pushing yourself. Life is all about being happy and getting the balance right. If you have arrived why go somewhere else where you don't know what the journey will entail?

Walsgrave · Sep 26, 2019

bringbackrattles said:
Been talking about an ex City player on Twitter today Bobby Parker. He used to live by Cardinal Wiseman fields growing up, and would join in our kick abouts there. He ended up playing for Cov City and captained England's youth team too. But his career tailed off and he ended up at Carlisle and faded away from the limelight. Got me thinking. Do you reckon you have fulfilled your potential in a chosen career, or in life ? Or have you also failed and ended up frustrated at what could have been ?

I used to have kickabouts there - are you referring to the ones off Woodway Lane? I believe there used to be a running track owned by the school - that land was then sold off and became the Woodway Park of today

rob9872 · Sep 26, 2019

I've fulfilled nothing like my potential. If there's an easy swerve I'll take it every time and pretty much blagged my way through life. I hide it well on here, but have an IQ of 150, I was identified early on for success and took my maths O'level at 14. Unfortunately I'm one of the laziest fekkers ever to walk the planet. I'm a dreamer who wants to win the lottery and not lift a finger. I still have my health, a great family and whilst I'll never be rich, we have lots of life's extras that we don't really need and probably can't really afford, but live for now. I'd not change anything major but it sounds almost the polar opposite of Astute's story.

There's no right or wrong and I have a lot of admiration for people who live like that, my parents are similar, but it's simply not me.

fellatio_Martinez · Sep 26, 2019

Covstu said:
But equally you may choose to not push yourself to extremes and enjoy life stress free. Yes you won’t be rich but rich can come in different ways

Very true. I know people on the dole who are just as content and maybe even happier than people in well paid jobs.

shmmeee · Sep 26, 2019

Astute said:
A question for you.

You love your job. If the pay is good enough why would you risk it for a job you might not even like?

It isn't about pushing yourself. Life is all about being happy and getting the balance right. If you have arrived why go somewhere else where you don't know what the journey will entail?

I’m not sure I would. Except for the nagging feeling I’ve got that I should be doing “more”. Like I say it’s very much a live thought for me and I don’t have a final answer.

shmmeee · Sep 26, 2019

Astute said:
You had better hurry up then. You are in your peak years for getting a good job. Lots of experience and still some good years ahead of you. But once you reach your 40's you are seen differently. I am now 51 now. Fitter and stronger than most. But on a piece of paper I am still in my 50's. I am always taken as being younger. But when applying for jobs I would just be another in their 50's when there are many other applicants much younger. So my place is stuck with me.

Ha! I’m only two years into my new career! I’m doing OK, I’m in a high demand area where technical skill matters more than physical ability. I’m hoping to ride my current company on the way up but to be honest I’m not a million miles away from earning what I reckon I’d need to be comfortable.

SBAndy · Sep 26, 2019

Astute said:
Failed to me is not being able to do something. If you finally manage it how can you have failed?

Semantics then, seems you and I have different interpretations of the word. Take a friend of mine, failed all of his exams at school and left with no GCSEs. Went to work for a few years and got sick of it, so went back into education and did his GCSEs, passed and ended up with a degree having stayed in education. Now in a well-paying job at HP.

Point is, he failed but decided to try again years later and passed. What I mean when I say failure leads to growth.

bringbackrattles · Sep 26, 2019

Walsgrave said:
I used to have kickabouts there - are you referring to the ones off Woodway Lane? I believe there used to be a running track owned by the school - that land was then sold off and became the Woodway Park of today

Yes. We played mainly on the pitch with the running track around it, and they often left the small hockey goals up with the nets, that was great. It is still there not the track but the pitch is, with a small park attached. Also we played on Ismay farmers field down Woodway Lane too.
That was rough and ready with cow dung everywhere !

Walsgrave · Sep 26, 2019

bringbackrattles said:
Yes. We played mainly on the pitch with the running track around it, and they often left the small hockey goals up with the nets, that was great. It is still there not the track but the pitch is, with a small park attached. Also we played on Ismay farmers field down Woodway Lane too.
That was rough and ready with cow dung everywhere !

They were good times, I used to practice there every weekend. Back in the days when kids used to knock on each others' doors to socialise. Nowadays, kids just break into astro turfs to play - proper fields are left untouched.

I used to play Sunday League down the Sowe Common, and I believe the Ismay field is the field just before - next to the cemetery? If so, high five!

richnrg · Sep 26, 2019

Astute said:
. But it is a very resposible job. But once I leave the factory gate I can forget about it until I am back for my next shift. But if I get my job wrong I can stop the whole plant. Enough to keep me sharp but also be able to relax.

you're in charge of locking and unlocking the gate?

bringbackrattles · Sep 26, 2019

Walsgrave said:
They were good times, I used to practice there every weekend. Back in the days when kids used to knock on each others' doors to socialise. Nowadays, kids just break into astro turfs to play - proper fields are left untouched.

I used to play Sunday League down the Sowe Common, and I believe the Ismay field is the field just before - next to the cemetery? If so, high five!

Ismay farmers field is now the Walsgrave Club and the Co-op shop. The cemetery is opposite the now gone Colliers pub.

Walsgrave · Sep 26, 2019

bringbackrattles said:
Ismay farmers field is now the Walsgrave Club and the Co-op shop. The cemetery is opposite the now gone Colliers pub.

I see, yes I live close to there.

Just reminiscing about my younger years when I was playing out around Walsgrave/Wyken. Woodway Park was my fortress/home, and I would then venture anyway between there and the Sowe Common. If I was feeling good enough I would venture out to Cally Park or Wyken Croft/Pinley and play. Good times!

Astute · Sep 26, 2019

richnrg said:
you're in charge of locking and unlocking the gate?

Not that responsible :shifty::smuggrin:

Marty · Sep 26, 2019

Nowhere near fulfilled my potential, on my third job in 12 months (within the same company), took a new job at a new site with a decent pay rise, as soon as I accepted it I regretted the decision, hated it from the moment I stepped into the building, hated the people, hated the management, had a bollocking within 48 hours of being there, lasted maybe 4 months before I just took any job going, took great pleasure letting the gaffer know I was off, he just turned to me and said 'you ain't fucking going anywhere'. He made a massive fuss about it with HR, and I was delayed 8 weeks going into the new job, He didn't say a word to me on my last day apart from telling me to clean my shit out.

Took a job with a 20k pay cut, As I introduced myself to the new gaffer, he just said 'welcome to retirement' and he weren't wrong, going from being busy non stop for 8 hours a day, too now, I must have actually done no more then 2 hours work all week, bored senseless, completely wasted. Spend most of the day on my phone/ watching youtube. I have zero responsibility though, I turn up late, go home early. I'd love to leave and try something else, but I know that I'll never earn this kind of money again. It's the only thing that keeps me going in. I keep telling myself that once the house is paid for then I'll try something new, but the reality is, is that my pension is worth fuck all (currently about 8k a year, including state pension), so if I want any kind of standard of living in retirement, I need to stay.

Failed in all relationships and most friendships, I've dated all sorts and none stick around for more then a couple of months. Would love to meet someone and settle down with them, knock out a few kids, but that's looking like nothing more then a pipe dream.

Quite a mix bag from me.

Seaside-Skyblue · Sep 26, 2019

shmmeee said:
It’s something I think about. I’ve always been a big fish in a small pond and wonder if I’ve truly found my limits if I’ve never really failed. I strongly believe growth comes from failure.

It’s not really about giving up, more reaching your limits. As an analogy, if you lift weights and have never failed a rep you aren’t lifting enough.

Never heard that analogy before but its a real gooden and so true!

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

Sky_Blue_Dreamer · Sep 26, 2019

rob9872 said:
I've fulfilled nothing like my potential. If there's an easy swerve I'll take it every time and pretty much blagged my way through life. I hide it well on here, but have an IQ of 150, I was identified early on for success and took my maths O'level at 14. Unfortunately I'm one of the laziest fekkers ever to walk the planet. I'm a dreamer who wants to win the lottery and not lift a finger. I still have my health, a great family and whilst I'll never be rich, we have lots of life's extras that we don't really need and probably can't really afford, but live for now. I'd not change anything major but it sounds almost the polar opposite of Astute's story.

There's no right or wrong and I have a lot of admiration for people who live like that, my parents are similar, but it's simply not me.

Just out of interest are you a perfectionist? Procrastination is often a sign of it because the anger and frustration of not doing something as well as you like is so huge the slight remorse of not doing anything and wasting time is far preferable.

bringbackrattles · Sep 26, 2019

I've just read about Nigel Benn and his return to the ring. It ties in nicely with my thread and " fulfilling potential. "
He says it's not about money but all about himself, he believes this will bring closure etc on his career ? He was a champion in his profession, but obviously in his mind that is/ was not enough. It's not for me to judge him, but he hasn't got anything to prove has he ? I've written about my past on here before, but I messed up big time.
But that doesn't have to define who I am today, the past is the past. I spent years trying hard to fulfill potential that I threw away, but came to the conclusion that it was bloody hard work. Now im content in my mind, so to me that's enough.
I think a lot this is in the mind ? We all aim too high at times, when we really don't have to.

Mcbean · Sep 26, 2019

bringbackrattles said:
I've just read about Nigel Benn and his return to the ring. It ties in nicely with my thread and " fulfilling potential. "
He says it's not about money but all about himself, he believes this will bring closure etc on his career ? He was a champion in his profession, but obviously in his mind that is/ was not enough. It's not for me to judge him, but he hasn't got anything to prove has he ? I've written about my past on here before, but I messed up big time.
But that doesn't have to define who I am today, the past is the past. I spent years trying hard to fulfill potential that I threw away, but came to the conclusion that it was bloody hard work. Now im content in my mind, so to me that's enough.
I think a lot this is in the mind ? We all aim too high at times, when we really don't have to.

Good for you - not just sure its the best for Benn - his body is not the same

Fulfilling Your Potential ? (2 Viewers)

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Super Moderator

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Users who are viewing this thread

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency