I’m not criticising but ……… (1 Viewer)

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 3, 2022

U12 game this morning - good league. Nice and competitive

Lad reffing - coach asks him how much he’s being paid by the other side after not giving a penalty mmmmmmm

He also had words with the parent Lino for winding up one of the other players. This same parent comes up after the game which ended 1-1 so got tasty towards the end.

Starts with the phrase that I’m no longer gonna put up with. I’m not criticising but ……

My lad had not made enough decisions and so both players teams got frustrated and ended up making bad fouls!!! Um

I normally leave it to Sam and listen in but I wasn’t having that this morning .

I asked if he’d had a chance to check if that’s what his players had said? Or whether he’d heard the comments from the side of the pitch. He hadn’t of course he then repeated I’m not criticising. So so annoying.

Wish I’d said it may have been better for him to come over and apologise for making my lad have to come and talk to him for acting inappropriately or for the bad tackle by his player at the end but no it was my lads fault as he didn’t keep giving free kicks and didn’t talk to them enough

Safeguarding my arse.

I think next time unless the parent comes over and apologises for their behaviour then I’m gonna tell Sam to just say he’s not interested. Actually even more I’m gonna stop the parent before they open their mouth and if they don’t start with thanks for refereeing and well done they can just shut up

eastwoodsdustman · Dec 3, 2022

Report him to the league and county fa Pete. He wont do it again.
I always found u12s and u 13s the worst as lads are starting to get more aggressive with their hormones building up.

Evo1883 · Dec 3, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
U12 game this morning - good league. Nice and competitive

Lad reffing - coach asks him how much he’s being paid by the other side after not giving a penalty mmmmmmm

He also had words with the parent Lino for winding up one of the other players. This same parent comes up after the game which ended 1-1 so got tasty towards the end.

Starts with the phrase that I’m no longer gonna put up with. I’m not criticising but ……

My lad had not made enough decisions and so both players teams got frustrated and ended up making bad fouls!!! Um

I normally leave it to Sam and listen in but I wasn’t having that this morning .

I asked if he’d had a chance to check if that’s what his players had said? Or whether he’d heard the comments from the side of the pitch. He hadn’t of course he then repeated I’m not criticising. So so annoying.

Wish I’d said it may have been better for him to come over and apologise for making my lad have to come and talk to him for acting inappropriately or for the bad tackle by his player at the end but no it was my lads fault as he didn’t keep giving free kicks and didn’t talk to them enough

Safeguarding my arse.

I think next time unless the parent comes over and apologises for their behaviour then I’m gonna tell Sam to just say he’s not interested. Actually even more I’m gonna stop the parent before they open their mouth and if they don’t start with thanks for refereeing and well done they can just shut up

Your son the ref? Does he have red hair ?

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 3, 2022

Evo1883 said:
Your son the ref? Does he have red hair ?

Blonde brown

Evo1883 · Dec 3, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
Blonde brown

Does he do much at masseys ?

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 3, 2022

eastwoodsdustman said:
Report him to the league and county fa Pete. He wont do it again.
I always found u12s and u 13s the worst as lads are starting to get more aggressive with their hormones building up.

I like the advice it’s all really useful but from now it’s starts with a thank you and a well done or they don’t get to offer it.

Evo1883 · Dec 3, 2022

Basically I'm trying to work out if your lad is the one that refs my girls cov utd u11s sometimes

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 3, 2022

Evo1883 said:
Does he do much at masseys ?

Only up to about 7 games. Easily his best game today. Really proud of him

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 3, 2022

Evo1883 said:
Basically I'm trying to work out if your lad is the one that refs my girls cov utd u11s sometimes

He hasn’t yet but I know Paul and he’s asked

Evo1883 · Dec 3, 2022

I had to tell a parent today ( always the brummies) to let the kids play and the ref ref .. on and on and on . That's u11 girls

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 3, 2022

Evo1883 said:
I had to tell a parent today ( always the brummies) to let the kids play and the ref ref .. on and on and on . That's u11 girls

I like that actually thanks

JAM See · Dec 3, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
U12 game this morning - good league. Nice and competitive

Lad reffing - coach asks him how much he’s being paid by the other side after not giving a penalty mmmmmmm

He also had words with the parent Lino for winding up one of the other players. This same parent comes up after the game which ended 1-1 so got tasty towards the end.

Starts with the phrase that I’m no longer gonna put up with. I’m not criticising but ……

My lad had not made enough decisions and so both players teams got frustrated and ended up making bad fouls!!! Um

I normally leave it to Sam and listen in but I wasn’t having that this morning .

I asked if he’d had a chance to check if that’s what his players had said? Or whether he’d heard the comments from the side of the pitch. He hadn’t of course he then repeated I’m not criticising. So so annoying.

Wish I’d said it may have been better for him to come over and apologise for making my lad have to come and talk to him for acting inappropriately or for the bad tackle by his player at the end but no it was my lads fault as he didn’t keep giving free kicks and didn’t talk to them enough

Safeguarding my arse.

I think next time unless the parent comes over and apologises for their behaviour then I’m gonna tell Sam to just say he’s not interested. Actually even more I’m gonna stop the parent before they open their mouth and if they don’t start with thanks for refereeing and well done they can just shut up

Why aren't refs equipped with some sort of lightweight recording device?

I'm sure that if the parents/coaches had to listen back to what they'd said in the heat of the moment, they'd be hugely embarrassed (most of them anyway).

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 3, 2022

JAM See said:
Why aren't refs equipped with some sort of lightweight recording device?

I'm sure that if the parents/coaches had to listen back to what they'd said in the heat of the moment, they'd be hugely embarrassed (most of them anyway).

Being trialled I think. It’s tricky as permission needs to be granted. They weren’t too bad comments at all. The one from the coach was pretty outrageous to be fair but like many things I get involved in we don’t invest and expect everything to be ok and then cry after the event when something bad happens

Anyway. We’re all learning aren’t we and since I’ve got back involved in minor league football it’s so so much better but there are some really easy fixes. One of them being treat all kids as if they’re kids and protect, respect and support them. Bloody muppets

hill83 · Dec 4, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
U12 game this morning - good league. Nice and competitive

Lad reffing - coach asks him how much he’s being paid by the other side after not giving a penalty mmmmmmm

He also had words with the parent Lino for winding up one of the other players. This same parent comes up after the game which ended 1-1 so got tasty towards the end.

Starts with the phrase that I’m no longer gonna put up with. I’m not criticising but ……

My lad had not made enough decisions and so both players teams got frustrated and ended up making bad fouls!!! Um

I normally leave it to Sam and listen in but I wasn’t having that this morning .

I asked if he’d had a chance to check if that’s what his players had said? Or whether he’d heard the comments from the side of the pitch. He hadn’t of course he then repeated I’m not criticising. So so annoying.

Wish I’d said it may have been better for him to come over and apologise for making my lad have to come and talk to him for acting inappropriately or for the bad tackle by his player at the end but no it was my lads fault as he didn’t keep giving free kicks and didn’t talk to them enough

Safeguarding my arse.

I think next time unless the parent comes over and apologises for their behaviour then I’m gonna tell Sam to just say he’s not interested. Actually even more I’m gonna stop the parent before they open their mouth and if they don’t start with thanks for refereeing and well done they can just shut up

What if he had a few nice quotes in a paper?

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 4, 2022

hill83 said:
What if he had a few nice quotes in a paper?

What do you mean?

Skybluefaz · Dec 4, 2022

Some right pricks around Pete. I'd follow the advice of reporting it. Not much more you can do unfortunately.

hill83 · Dec 4, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
What do you mean?

I was on about your Hancock thread.

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 4, 2022

Update
Unprompted parent said thank you and well played to Sam this morning. I could have hugged him

lifeskyblue · Dec 4, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
Update
Unprompted parent said thank you and well played to Sam this morning. I could have hugged him

Excellent. Well done your lad and well done that parent.

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Brighton Sky Blue · Dec 4, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
Being trialled I think. It’s tricky as permission needs to be granted. They weren’t too bad comments at all. The one from the coach was pretty outrageous to be fair but like many things I get involved in we don’t invest and expect everything to be ok and then cry after the event when something bad happens

Anyway. We’re all learning aren’t we and since I’ve got back involved in minor league football it’s so so much better but there are some really easy fixes. One of them being treat all kids as if they’re kids and protect, respect and support them. Bloody muppets

The phrase 'You do realise you're abusing a minor, don't you?' tends to shut down anything pretty quickly.

Frostie · Dec 4, 2022

JAM See said:
Why aren't refs equipped with some sort of lightweight recording device?

I'm sure that if the parents/coaches had to listen back to what they'd said in the heat of the moment, they'd be hugely embarrassed (most of them anyway).

Not allowed by the FA.
If you were super cynical about it you'd suggest they're not actually interested in stopping ref abuse because they make masses of money out of fines etc.

Otis · Dec 4, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
Update
Unprompted parent said thank you and well played to Sam this morning. I could have hugged him

I should think so too. After all, he IS your son.

shmmeee · Dec 4, 2022

Get him a discreet body cam (or even not so discreet) and start a YouTube channel. I would.

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 4, 2022

shmmeee said:
Get him a discreet body cam (or even not so discreet) and start a YouTube channel. I would.

I’m a bit of an idiot and try and progressively change these things when everyone has tried befor me. I genuinely think football as a whole doesn’t give a shit about supporting and encouraging children referees. There’s some easy answers like all clubs having to assure their coaches and parents watch a respect video and sign a form to say they will adhere to some simple agreements on respect etc

I know there’s not enough development refs but for Sam to not have any mentor in his first few months is utterly bizarre

Robinshio · Dec 4, 2022

Brighton Sky Blue said:
The phrase 'You do realise you're abusing a minor, don't you?' tends to shut down anything pretty quickly.

That was called going to school in the 70s

lifeskyblue · Dec 4, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
I’m a bit of an idiot and try and progressively change these things when everyone has tried befor me. I genuinely think football as a whole doesn’t give a shit about supporting and encouraging children referees. There’s some easy answers like all clubs having to assure their coaches and parents watch a respect video and sign a form to say they will adhere to some simple agreements on respect etc

I know there’s not enough development refs but for Sam to not have any mentor in his first few months is utterly bizarre

Can he get his name forward to ref at ccfc academy My son started reffing at Leicester’s academy…parents well back from the pitch and respectful. Coaches really good with their own players and the officials. Even when parents talking to wife and I during game always asked about the process that led son to reffing and how well he doing rather than animosity etc

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Sky Blue Pete · Dec 4, 2022

lifeskyblue said:
Can he get his name forward to ref at ccfc academy My son started reffing at Leicester’s academy…parents well back from the pitch and respectful. Coaches really good with their own players and the officials. Even when parents talking to wife and I during game always asked about the process that led son to reffing and how well he doing rather than animosity etc

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Spoke to mark Hornby who has passed his name on to the academy

lifeskyblue · Dec 4, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
Spoke to mark Hornby who has passed his name on to the academy

Excellent. It’s a different experience and will give son greater confidence and understanding of what he should expect from players, caches and parents when he refs other games

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shmmeee · Dec 5, 2022

There should be a thing at youth level where refs can treat parents as part of players and hand out cards for their actions. That would stop it pretty quick.

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 5, 2022

shmmeee said:
There should be a thing at youth level where refs can treat parents as part of players and hand out cards for their actions. That would stop it pretty quick.

Would probably just add to confrontation but I do think there is a self management here at different stages that should be explored. I heard one guy shout fuckin hell ref that’s a red card. It wasn’t, no cards are sensible at u12 but immediately his wife and other parents were quick to say that’s not ok. Like I say the environment needs to be fully aware of safeguarding and that includes the child reffing the slightly younger and sometimes the same age or slightly older children. I’m enjoying the banter I have to admit. I didn’t enjoy the immature behaviour on the Saturday from adults who should know better and do know better

Nick · Dec 5, 2022

Yeah still don't think it's on parents and adults having a go at a ref who's a kid themselves.

shmmeee · Dec 5, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
Would probably just add to confrontation but I do think there is a self management here at different stages that should be explored. I heard one guy shout fuckin hell ref that’s a red card. It wasn’t, no cards are sensible at u12 but immediately his wife and other parents were quick to say that’s not ok. Like I say the environment needs to be fully aware of safeguarding and that includes the child reffing the slightly younger and sometimes the same age or slightly older children. I’m enjoying the banter I have to admit. I didn’t enjoy the immature behaviour on the Saturday from adults who should know better and do know better

Im surprised the coaches don’t have a word TBH. Hardly teaching their players the right things.

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 5, 2022

shmmeee said:
Im surprised the coaches don’t have a word TBH. Hardly teaching their players the right things.

As I say it was the coach that accused sam of cheating on Saturday. Beggars belief.

Sky Blue Pete · Dec 5, 2022

Sky Blue Pete said:
As I say it was the coach that accused sam of cheating on Saturday. Beggars belief.

Coach - how much are they paying you ref
Sam - please don’t accuse me of cheating
Coach - I wasn’t
Sam - you literally just asked me how much the other team were paying me. If you repeat that I will need to ask you to leave the pitch area
Coach - mumbling and doesn’t apologise

I was on the other side of the pitch and heard what he said so so would all the players

I’m not criticising but ……… (1 Viewer)

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