Name that chav (1 Viewer)

tommydazzle · Aug 9, 2011

My teacher friends tell me that they can predict behaviour and academic performance even before they meet the kids just by looking at their names.

Chavsters: Ryan, Levi, Jordan, Wayne, Shane, Connor, Troy

Chavettes: Jordan, Shakira, Paige, Chelsea, Jade, Chantelle

and any normal name spelt in a stupid way eg James as Jaimz

I'm sure you can add to the list.........

DH - Sky Blue · Aug 9, 2011

Tyler, Mackenzie, Dwaine... not exactly going to grow up to be lawyers are they. Which is a shame as they'll probably need one.

We'll_live_and_die · Aug 9, 2011

Imagine a chav lawyer, you'd never go out of business.

Marty · Aug 9, 2011

Do people really spell their kids names like James, Jaimz?? They want shooting if they do.

Tyson, Lewis, Jermal, Stacey, Tracy,

Nick · Aug 9, 2011

Shaniqua is the best!

dutchman · Aug 9, 2011

Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz.

Harper Seven.

SkyBluePryce · Aug 9, 2011

Nick said:
Shaniqua is the best!

Quality! Beautiful name! ......lmao jokes!

shmmeee · Aug 9, 2011

Shannons are always trouble
Also Raeven, Nike, Rashaun

CovScott88 · Aug 9, 2011

shmmeee said:
Shannons are always trouble
Also Raeven, Nike, Rashaun

Do people really call their kids Nike? I would have thought that the 'Just do it' motto was what got the parents into trouble in the first place!

shmmeee · Aug 9, 2011

CovScott88 said:
Do people really call their kids Nike? I would have thought that the 'Just do it' motto was what got them into trouble in the first place!

I taught one in my training year, well say taught - he was permanently excluded after the first couple of weeks...

CovScott88 · Aug 9, 2011

shmmeee said:
I taught one in my training year, well say taught - he was permanently excluded after the first couple of weeks...

Jeez. What happened to regular, good old fashioned names?! Damn celebrity culture!!

JCR1987 · Aug 9, 2011

My wife taught a girl the other year who insisted her name was pronounced: See O Ban (I've tried to spell it as best I can so it sounds right).

Her actual name was Siobhan but her thick parents didn't realise how it was actually pronounced and actually preferred it the other way.

You must be stupid, stupid, STUPID!!! (to quote Rainmaker)

Il Pirata · Aug 9, 2011

Horatio, proper ghetto name.

Il Pirata · Aug 9, 2011

JCR1987 said:
My wife taught a girl the other year who insisted her name was pronounced: See O Ban (I've tried to spell it as best I can so it sounds right).

Her actual name was Siobhan but her thick parents didn't realise how it was actually pronounced and actually preferred it the other way.

You must be stupid, stupid, STUPID!!! (to quote Rainmaker)

Hahahaha, that's brilliant. I died a little inside reading it, but it's hilarious.

All these people should be sent as part of the first Martian colony, they'll end up killing each other but it would make great reality tv.

Houchens Head · Aug 9, 2011

A good link on facebook........

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/London-Riots-Name-and-Shame/148963255186121

tommydazzle · Aug 9, 2011

Apparently you also get double chav points if the child has earrings, nose stud, tattoo etc and is still at primary school.

ccfcrob · Aug 9, 2011

Marlon turned out to be a pretty bad name too

blueflint · Aug 9, 2011

chavtastic post got me laughing

dutchman · Aug 11, 2011

How about "Sharese" and "Kelcie"?

link to Telegraph article

Otis · Aug 11, 2011

Il Pirata said:
Hahahaha, that's brilliant. I died a little inside reading it, but it's hilarious.

All these people should be sent as part of the first Martian colony, they'll end up killing each other but it would make great reality tv.

Though the chavs would believe they were being sent to a Martin Colony and be wondering who he is!

Marty · Aug 11, 2011

Otis said:
Though the chavs would believe they were being sent to a Martin Colony and be wondering who he is!

They are joining my colony?? fill it red necks and chavs, what could possible go wrong.:facepalm:

Dan Griffin · Aug 11, 2011

Hagrid, Ron, Harry, Draco, list is endless!

Otis · Aug 11, 2011

I bet there are some daft parents out there who have called their child Draco!

skybluegod · Aug 11, 2011

queue bad joke......my brothers kid was born on st andrews day so was called andrew ..my sisters kid was born on st davids day so was called david ...but i feel sorry for my cousin pancake...sorry

Otis · Aug 11, 2011

I feel more sorry for my Auntie Dooms.

Houchens Head · Aug 11, 2011

I heard that Jasper Carrott's daughter is called Nora!

ccfc2011 · Aug 15, 2011

pointless thread

Marty · Aug 15, 2011

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-st...-benefits-wants-charity-help-115875-23340544/

Moira, who lives with her jobless ex Mark Austin, 19, is mum to Kayleigh, 17, Jamie, 16, Chloe, 13, Tyler, 10, Shania, six, Blade, five, Shonna, four, Candice, three, Shardonnaie, two, and one-year-old Maxy-Jane. :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::jerkit:

Sutty · Aug 15, 2011

The worst I've heard is someone called DKNY (pronounced dukeeney)

skyblueprincess · Aug 16, 2011

Girls
Chardonnay
Origin: Supermaket shelf/ Footballers' Wives

Bianca
Origin: Eastenders
Meaning: She who staggers on white stilettos

Tiffany
Origin: Eastenders/ Hairdresser
Meaning: Keeper of smaller yappy dogs called Princess

Sharron:Chav Classic
Meaning: Bingo screecher/Market trader's delight

Courtney
Origin: Saff Lahndann, innit?
Meaning: Pusher of double buggy

Boys

Alfie
Origin: Eastenders
Meaning: He who buys stolen rubbish from the pub

Kyle
Origin: Celtic/ South Park
Meaning: Teenager of orthodontic nightmares

Lee
Origin: Old Essex/ Old East London
Meaning: Father of many

Wayne
Origin: Western hero/ Harry Enfield/ England footie hero
Meaning: He who wears fake burberry baseball caps

Darren
Origin: Dagenham Market
meaning: he who nicks wing mirros of cars

covladzak · Aug 16, 2011

Nick said:
Shaniqua is the best!

That's the ghetto name of choice here!!!!:claping hands:

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