New Job Doubts (1 Viewer)

shmmeee · Nov 18, 2021

Just looking for other peoples experiences/advice really. Standard “no I’m not doing whatever a football forum tells me” disclaimer. But know there’s a wide range of experience on here.

Quit my job for one based in London on a lot more pay, went up to meet the team in an off site in Glasgow this week and … really don’t like them or the vibe of the company at all. All the things I don’t like about London people, quite snotty and rude, I didn’t feel welcome at all.

Got about a month and a half of my notice period left and am having real doubts. Lots of frustrations at my current place where I’ve been for years and the offer of more money led me to quit but am now doubting myself.

Not sure whether to withdraw my resignation and either stay or look for a better fit. Not sure how that would play with my current place or how to approach it or if I’m just being silly and should give the new place a go.

Any stories of changing jobs and first impressions being wrong or of backing out of a new job?

Marty · Nov 18, 2021

Made it impossible for yourself to stay now, haven't you. Go to the new job, give it 6 months and immediately start looking elsewhere.

Did you speak to your boss before handing in your notice?

skybluesam66 · Nov 18, 2021

The grass isn’t usually greener. Maybe fresher but will fade
Think of what works for your career health and lifestyle

OffenhamSkyBlue · Nov 18, 2021

Does it involve relocation, or is the new post on a hybrid pattern that means you can stay where you are and travel to London a couple of times a week? Don't underestimate the importance of work-life balance, but each of us has different things that motivate us. Money, recognition, kudos, etc. may drive you more than it might others of us.

But as Marty said, you may have made your bed where you work currently - only you can decide that, but maybe discuss it with your manager??
Good luck whatever you decide

shmmeee · Nov 18, 2021

Marty said:
Made it impossible for yourself to stay now, haven't you. Go to the new job, give it 6 months and immediately start looking elsewhere.

Did you speak to your boss before handing in your notice?

No I didn’t. Partly because the person who is my boss now hadn’t started yet.

shmmeee · Nov 18, 2021

OffenhamSkyBlue said:
Does it involve relocation, or is the new post on a hybrid pattern that means you can stay where you are and travel to London a couple of times a week? Don't underestimate the importance of work-life balance, but each of us has different things that motivate us. Money, recognition, kudos, etc. may drive you more than it might others of us.

But as Marty said, you may have made your bed where you work currently - only you can decide that, but maybe discuss it with your manager??
Good luck whatever you decide

It’s hybrid once a week at first then once a month.

I think it’s really driven home to me how much people and lifestyle matters more than money TBH. Thinking about starting the job search again with those in mind and seeing if I can extend my notice while I look.

OffenhamSkyBlue · Nov 18, 2021

Chance to build bridges with the new boss? Have things improved since they started?

shmmeee · Nov 18, 2021

OffenhamSkyBlue said:
Chance to build bridges with the new boss? Have things improved since they started?

There’s signs they might TBH.

OffenhamSkyBlue · Nov 18, 2021

shmmeee said:
It’s hybrid once a week at first then once a month.

I think it’s really driven home to me how much people and lifestyle matters more than money TBH. Thinking about starting the job search again with those in mind and seeing if I can extend my notice while I look.

But then the question could be how much you value being part of a vibrant team? Hybrid work doesn't suit everyone, and you could feel isolated and lacking direction/leadership.
Sorry, that may not help, but i don't know you or your motivators

Sick Boy · Nov 18, 2021

If you’ve not lived down south it can take a while to adjust, IMO. I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss the new job based upon your first impressions.

OffenhamSkyBlue · Nov 18, 2021

shmmeee said:
There’s signs they might TBH.

Ask to have a chat - maybe ask for it to be an opportunity to develop your existing role in some way. Take on a new line report, be involved more in decision-making or strategy, perhaps? I don't know what you were missing to make you look elsewhere
Course, if they say no, we're moving forward without you, you'll know where you stand.
At least if you were to ditch London now, they still have time to recruit someone else. Nothing worse than being told the day before someone is due to start that they ain't coming!!

OffenhamSkyBlue · Nov 18, 2021

Sick Boy said:
If you’ve not lived down south it can take a while to adjust, IMO. I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss the new job based upon your first impressions.

Sounds like relocation wouldn't be essential - but does that mean you don't get to bond with the team if they have social gatherings after work, etc?

shmmeee · Nov 18, 2021

OffenhamSkyBlue said:
But then the question could be how much you value being part of a vibrant team? Hybrid work doesn't suit everyone, and you could feel isolated and lacking direction/leadership.
Sorry, that may not help, but i don't know you or your motivators

No I know. Just going through my process and like the diverse opinions on here. Talking to colleagues and family too.

I had a similar thing when I was teaching. Was at a place for years, promotion routes blocked off so left for a leadership role but didn’t enjoy the team or the culture and was just miserable for years ultimately leading to me changing profession. Worried I’m making the same mistake again.

As Wingy says the grass isn’t always greener and sometimes it feels worse when you know all the warts of the place you’re at.

Sick Boy · Nov 18, 2021

OffenhamSkyBlue said:
Sounds like relocation wouldn't be essential - but does that mean you don't get to bond with the team if they have social gatherings after work, etc?

I don’t mean living there, I mean more the way people are and the work culture in general. The social gatherings is a good point but once a month in person would be enough for that sort of thing.

shmmeee · Nov 18, 2021

Sick Boy said:
If you’ve not lived down south it can take a while to adjust, IMO. I wouldn’t necessarily dismiss the new job based upon your first impressions.

Yeah that’s the other side of it. Maybe I’m experiencing what anyone does “moving” to London the first time.

Sick Boy · Nov 18, 2021

shmmeee said:
No I know. Just going through my process and like the diverse opinions on here. Talking to colleagues and family too.

I had a similar thing when I was teaching. Was at a place for years, promotion routes blocked off so left for a leadership role but didn’t enjoy the team or the culture and was just miserable for years ultimately leading to me changing profession. Worried I’m making the same mistake again.

As Wingy says the grass isn’t always greener and sometimes it feels worse when you know all the warts of the place you’re at.

I’d take it personally, you don’t want to look back and have regrets and if something has driven you to hand in your notice, chances are you’re going to get frustrated again.

Sick Boy · Nov 18, 2021

shmmeee said:
Yeah that’s the other side of it. Maybe I’m experiencing what anyone does “moving” to London the first time.

I think so, I moved down when I was 20 - it took me 6 months to feel settled/get used to it.

Marty · Nov 18, 2021

shmmeee said:
No I didn’t. Partly because the person who is my boss now hadn’t started yet.

Quite a predicament, it's usually good to speak to your boss beforehand as you get a good gauge of how they value you, but like you say you couldn't in this situation.

I would go for the new job personally, it's always hard to meet people first, give it 6 months or so and go from there,

I changed jobs at my current employer, was worried about it to start with and for the first few months, absolutely hated it, but love it now, even turned down a handsome redundancy package last week to stay.

Brighton Sky Blue · Nov 18, 2021

You only live once and assuming both jobs pay the mortgage you have the luxury of a choice based on what makes you happy. I think deep down you know what that will be, so have the confidence to stick or twist.

Deleted member 9744 · Nov 18, 2021

So much at work depends on how you get on with your manager. If you sense that the manager at the new place will support you it is worth giving it go. If the problem is the people who will be working for you that is less of a problem as you can change the working culture, as long as you have the support of your manager and whoever leads the organisation.

Has the old place recruited your successor or started the process?

RedSalmon · Nov 18, 2021

I think moving to London can be a big culture shock, have never done it myself but my daughter did and she really liked it, although she has just moved back after six years.
With regards to changing jobs, you are right, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Many years ago I did a similar thing and changed jobs with the decission based mainly on the new job paying me a lot more. I could tell within a couple of days I had made a huge mistake but had to buckle down and get on with it. From then on any job change was not based on what the salary was as I always remember someone once saying to me that usually if an employer is going to pay you more then they (in one way or another) are going to expect more.
Would also say never leave a job on bad terms (however tempting it might be to tell them to stuff it up their arse) if at all possible, you never know if you might ever want to go back, and speaking from experience, that can be a great help.

fernandopartridge · Nov 18, 2021

shmmeee said:
Just looking for other peoples experiences/advice really. Standard “no I’m not doing whatever a football forum tells me” disclaimer. But know there’s a wide range of experience on here.

Quit my job for one based in London on a lot more pay, went up to meet the team in an off site in Glasgow this week and … really don’t like them or the vibe of the company at all. All the things I don’t like about London people, quite snotty and rude, I didn’t feel welcome at all.

Got about a month and a half of my notice period left and am having real doubts. Lots of frustrations at my current place where I’ve been for years and the offer of more money led me to quit but am now doubting myself.

Not sure whether to withdraw my resignation and either stay or look for a better fit. Not sure how that would play with my current place or how to approach it or if I’m just being silly and should give the new place a go.

Any stories of changing jobs and first impressions being wrong or of backing out of a new job?

My current and previous job I felt like leaving within the first couple of months. In the end was at the last place for 7 years and now coming up to 7 in the current one.

Wouldn't worry too much about first impressions tbh, I'd be as suspicious of over friendliness

chiefdave · Nov 18, 2021

I lived in London for a few years because I needed to for work and in theory its great as there's so much going on in London. In practice everything is so ridiculously expensive unless you're getting a huge increase then you won't see much benefit.

Speaking personally the idea of commuting from here to London, even once a month, would be enough to put me off.

Its tough though. If you aren't happy where you are its not necessarily easy to find somewhere you'd be happier. Its easy for people say just move jobs or change career but not always so simple when you've got a mortgage and bills to pay. Not sure, at least in the sector I work in, that there's that many good employers or jobs left!

shmmeee · Nov 18, 2021

Really appreciate all the replies. Thanks guys.

fernandopartridge · Nov 18, 2021

Btw in my current job I've mostly worked with London based clients and did a lot of traveling (from Manchester) down to there. I've worked with other clients from across the North

I think it's a complete myth about London people being unfriendly or less friendly than anywhere else.

stay_up_skyblues · Nov 18, 2021

Doesn’t really deal with relocation but when my company was acquired by another c. 6 years ago I was thrown onto a new team and under a new manager in the space of a fortnight. Previous manager made redundant and along with all but one other fee earner in our department.

Felt at first there was a bit of a culture clash as they were all university educated and very middle class whereas I’d gone the old fashioned route and joined as a trainee and worked my way up doing my exams on the job.

Gone were the rude jokes, lunchtime drinking and McDonalds Fridays of my old team. In came talk of hiking weekends, scuba diving, holiday cottages in France and trips to Waitrose

But years on we get on brilliantly and I’ve made some great friends. I’m well respected on the team and they come to me for guidance and instructions.

Personally I’d be minded to give it a proper go over a few months. Mind you, I say that in an industry where, when on top of my work, I can (if I wish) go several weeks at a time without seeing the team or management. Not such an issue then if you don’t like them I suppose.

Grendel · Nov 18, 2021

People only regret what they don’t do. I years and years ago had a chance to go to the States - may have hated it but it’s always what ifs isn’t it really

The commuting thing certainly wouldn’t worry about especially when it goes down to once a month

Deleted member 5849 · Nov 18, 2021

fernandopartridge said:
I think it's a complete myth about London people being unfriendly or less friendly than anywhere else.

When I lived there, it was the easiest place to make friends, as lots of other people moved there too, so were in the same boat.

Conversely, they all sodded off at various points, so having a stable friendship group over a period of years was harder!

Sky_Blue_Dreamer · Nov 18, 2021

While I understand FP's point, I'm someone who has over the years learned to trust my instincts. They're not foolproof but they're there for a reason. I've had things where I've thought 'I don't think I'm going to fit in here' but gone ahead with it anyway and ended up hating it.

I get the feeling that you're kind of already telling yourself you're not going to enjoy it and that's going to make it even harder to be motivated and remove that mindset.

But as to whether you should try and stay where you are a bit longer or give it a go only you can decide. You said you were frustrated at your current place but that you left because of the offer of more money rather than because of your dislike for the job, although your would still like to move. I assume that the money isn't a vital factor and you could live on your current salary. Obviously having handed in your notice makes it awkward and asking to stay doesn't put you in a particularly strong position but having the conversation won't do any harm. Whether it goes well or badly could help make up your mind as to what to do. If you feel valued you'll probably stay, if they're more 'you made your bed so lie in it' then you may as well give the new place a go for a few months and if your first impressions are accurate you can look elsewhere again, even though I know that's a massive pain in the arse. Enjoying what you do and who you work with is vital for your own health and well-being.

Dunno if any of that is of any help, and I hope that whatever you decide goes well for you.

ovduk78 · Nov 18, 2021

I don't think retracting your notice will necessarily be taken as a bad thing if that's what you decide to do so long as you don't decide you've had enough and resign again in the next few months. It will save your current company the hassle and expense of finding your replacement. I know plenty of people who have left a job and returned within months and all was OK. Good luck with your decision.

chiefdave · Nov 18, 2021

ovduk78 said:
I don't think retracting your notice will necessarily be taken as a bad thing if that's what you decide to do so long as you don't decide you've had enough and resign again in the next few months.

They could take it either way but given there's a new boss in place if you massage their ego a bit doubt it would be too hard to leave them with the impression you've changed your mind because they're so fantastic!

jimmyhillsfanclub · Nov 18, 2021

jimmyhillsfanclub · Nov 18, 2021

Sick Boy · Nov 18, 2021

fernandopartridge said:
Btw in my current job I've mostly worked with London based clients and did a lot of traveling (from Manchester) down to there. I've worked with other clients from across the North

I think it's a complete myth about London people being unfriendly or less friendly than anywhere else.

I don’t think they’re unfriendly at all, from my experience people from the south are friendlier than those from the north.

Brighton Sky Blue · Nov 18, 2021

Sick Boy said:
I don’t think they’re unfriendly at all, from my experience people from the south are friendlier than those from the north.

Opposite for me. At least when you get off the train up north there aren’t crowds of arseholes shoving people out of the way with an overpriced coffee in their hands

New Job Doubts (1 Viewer)

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