"Reet, this is ya new Captain speakin', light up ya fags 'cos we're goin DOON. See ya's on the groond, I'll try an' land this bastaaaad in the Swanswell, watch this noo..."
That's exactly how it played out in my head, for some reason.
And I wouldn't be pouring another beer, I'd be trying to make a parachute out of my wife's undercrackers.