Nice one! How do you feel? A million dollars I bet!
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Probably on his 4th wank of the day already!
In all seriousness, well in SBB and you have just overcome THE hardest hurdle and hopefully the rest will now fall into place.
Keep us updated!
Lockdown has been so weird. Someone said they breezed through first 8 weeks, I can confirm I did but since then it's just been weird. Weather don't help either. Let's begin from the start, in a nutshell.
Ended it with the gf in Jan, been thinking it for a while but did it. It had just got difficult without us really knowing it, many reasons I won't go into. Work with her BTW so no escape. Was due to move in with her in March but that got cancelled, housemate knnew I was on my way out so he made arrangements to shack up with his girl even though he didn't really want to. I then ended my relationship, he couldn't get out of moving in with his so from March I've been on my own.
First 8 weeks were a breeze, proper cleaned the flat after he left and made it more like my own. Every weekend tackling shit cleaning jobs, being ruthless in throwing out junk. Time flew, working from home. 8 weeks, a doddle. Actually saving 350 a month because of no gambling, drinking, eating at restaurants etc.
Next few weeks weather was superb so spent alot of time in the sun, walking or running (usually play footy 2-3 times a week) which made me feel great now the distracting of flat cleaning is over.
Now weather's been a fucking joke and I honestly find myself bored ouut my mind after work hours. Trying to not drink for the sake of it, enjoying the running and trying different healthy meals with the takeaway on a Fri. Cutting out all lager until pubs open.
Situation now is the ex wants to try again, I would love it to work but I dunno if I go down that route again and it doesn't work, how shit everything will be again. Throw in another office girl wants a piece as well, driving me mad offering all sorts. Offices really are utterly bizarre places.
Anyway not sure any of this has made sense. Will read back and apologise if not!
Ended it with the gf in Jan, been thinking it for a while but did it. It had just got difficult without us really knowing it, many reasons I won't go into. Work with her BTW so no escape. Was due to move in with her in March but that got cancelled, housemate knnew I was on my way out so he made arrangements to shack up with his girl even though he didn't really want to. I then ended my relationship, he couldn't get out of moving in with his so from March I've been on my own.
First 8 weeks were a breeze, proper cleaned the flat after he left and made it more like my own. Every weekend tackling shit cleaning jobs, being ruthless in throwing out junk. Time flew, working from home. 8 weeks, a doddle. Actually saving 350 a month because of no gambling, drinking, eating at restaurants etc.
Next few weeks weather was superb so spent alot of time in the sun, walking or running (usually play footy 2-3 times a week) which made me feel great now the distracting of flat cleaning is over.
Now weather's been a fucking joke and I honestly find myself bored ouut my mind after work hours. Trying to not drink for the sake of it, enjoying the running and trying different healthy meals with the takeaway on a Fri. Cutting out all lager until pubs open.
Situation now is the ex wants to try again, I would love it to work but I dunno if I go down that route again and it doesn't work, how shit everything will be again. Throw in another office girl wants a piece as well, driving me mad offering all sorts. Offices really are utterly bizarre places.
Anyway not sure any of this has made sense. Will read back and apologise if not!
As I always say in these situations. Try to take a step out of it and think about what you would advise if someone you knew was in the same situation. Take the emotions out a bit.
Lockdown is crazy and I think it is a good point of reflection for a lot of people. I would have an adult discussion with her about what you both selfishly want and also try to analyse what went wrong exactly.
Sometimes things take time, but I would sack that other office girl out of the whole thing entirely. You don't need it. It always makes me laugh how women seem to either find you more attractive when you have a girlfriend or they know they can steal you off someone else. Proceed with caution on that one.
Best of luck!
Your analysis is correct.
The bit about second guessing is right, although this time round I'm emotionally more with it and wiser to getting fucked over.
We are texting so will see where it goes and what happens. She was at her cousins tonight and sent me a picture of them both saying her cousin sends me kisses (in a nice way).
I'm going to continue at this pace and then see where we get to in the next week or so, unless anything happens before.
Definitely keep up your running - will keep you healthy - maybe join a club or park run - keeping the drinking down is really good for you and your mind - as someone with ocd living with someone who is the opposite I am continually on the move - whether I am imprinted with it after 34 years I think it’s going to continue - I have no idea how the two things below appeared and I can’t get rid of them !! OCD police
Attachments
I have been trying to stop myself giving that advice on here to seem understanding but you have done it for me!
I am worried that you are already showing too much of yourself and are going to end up in a bad place again.
You talk about taking it slow but in the very next sentence you're also going away and you've invited her?!
Who knows what she wants - maybe she wanted to wait until he divorce was finalised or maybe she has been seeing someone else recently and has been dumped, who knows.
The best thing you could do if you really want to be with her is to not make yourself so available and let her come to you. I know this is all easier said than done from an outside perspective but I have been there, made the same mistakes etc.
At the end of the day, if a woman wants to be with you she will make it very clear, i'm sorry to say that this does not seem like it to me but I hope I am wrong.
So I smash the office bird. Then the other office ex wants to get back together. I want to as well. No way that works!?
He's right again, you need to treat women like cats, if you chase a cat it keeps running.
I honestly don't know what she wants. She texts me quite a bit but then pulls away for 24 hours. Been flirting a bit and sent me a picture of her cousin and her yesterday saying hi and sending kisses.
I haven't chased her once and I've kept my cards close to my chest. All I said was that I was going to Amsterdam on X dates and she was welcome to join if she wants. I'm not going to raise it again.
At some stage I want to know what she is after. I'm not going to entertain any games. Her divorce goes through on Monday then I'll ask her what her thoughts are on meeting. Anything other than a solid yes and she is gone.
Just ask her out right on what she wants. if she wants you great, if she don’t just cut it there.
And if she don't, bin her off. They take great pleasure in having you hooked for months when they have no intention, it's all about the attention. I wasted 7 years of my 20s chasing some bint who kept leading me on. 7 fucking years
Again talking of cats, just bin her off like the way that woman did on Brays Lane
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I'm frustrated and angry but I won't rise to it yet.
I'll let her get through monday then I'm gonna ask her out. As I said previously. If it is a no she is gone and I get on with my life.
She didn't reply to me from last night after being really flirty and is clearly in some kind of territory where she doesn't want to put it out there.
I'll let her get through monday then I'm gonna ask her out. As I said previously. If it is a no she is gone and I get on with my life.
She didn't reply to me from last night after being really flirty and is clearly in some kind of territory where she doesn't want to put it out there.
Fuck her off, she's playing games, get your leg over in Amsterdam and that'll see you right.
There's always the cousin to fall back on
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Hope everyone is doing their best to stay healthy mentally!
Hopefully a little sense of normality is helping
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Hopefully a little sense of normality is helping
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me and the wife have tentatively started looking at houses, we're not committing to moving just discussing it.
I live in Earlsdon and it quite busy and noisy and I've always liked the hustle and bustle and the convenience where I am but the houses we were looking at (not making appointments just having a walk to the street of anything that took our fancy), were in really quiet areas and I realised that lock down has changed my out look and I'm now after the peace and quiet I've experienced in the last few months.
IMO when a relationship has ended, for some morbid reason, we kinda play down what pissed us off and remember the good times fondly. I have tried to rekindle a couple of times and it didn't work for me. The trust had gone and the magic had been spoilt. You are young enjoy yourself, I can assure you if you don't look for a woman, they will find you
Will have to accelerate my own house search, I suspect. Mrs. Wisdom has a one and a half hour commute which was bad enough in 'normal' times, I *really* don't fancy sticking her on a train now, and driving will be a nightmare!
