Joking aside, something did happen to me at the Ricoh which was true, so I really should stop taking the piss. Me, my Dad and my son queued up at the refreshment place for a couple of minutes and the following happened:
The guy in front of us said: "have you got any salt and vinegar crisps"
The girl behind the counter said: "No, sorry, we've run out"
The guy: "What have you got?"
The girl: "Cheese and Onion or Ready Salted"
The guy: (who turns to his mate): "What do you want, *Steve"
*Steve: "Mmm...I think I'll go for the Ready Salted".
The guy (to the girl): "Ready Salted, please"
The girl: "OK".
Now, I'm only reporting what happened so don't have a go at me if you don't believe me.
*the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Mine is an incident at The Wedges Bar, and goes like this:
Me: "A cheese and onion pastie, please."
Chav girl serving: "Cheese and onion? Nah, they aint ready quite yet."
Me: "Oh, right..how long do you think they'll be?"
Chav girl serving: "Well..I don't really know."
Me: "
Roughly how long?"
Chav girl serving: "Dunno. We don't cook them, 'cos we aint got an oven at this one. They cook 'em at the other place".
My Mate( also in queue)
: "I've been queueing for 10 minutes and they haven't sold any cheese and onion pasties-they never had any in the first bloody place."
Me:"Oh, I see..yes, this happened last home game as well. Yet it's never happened before in the past 2 seasons. When are the pasties coming from the "other place" ?"
Chav girl serving: "Well...they're not. You'd have to go down there yourself, it's down the other end of the concourse. You
could have chips?"
Random Bloke: "He shouldn't fuckin have to walk to another stall to get something you're meant to be selling,
where's the customer service?! I fuckin hate this stadium.."
Me: "I don't
want chips! So, were you ever actually going to have cheese and onion pasties on sale here? Have you just ran out of stock and not placed a new order since the last home game? 'Cos this is two weeks in a row that I've queued for ten minutes here only to be told you have either "sold out" or are "waiting" for something that's not actually coming!"
Chav girl serving: "Well..I dunno...erm.."
Me: "Well can you at least sort it out for next week?"
Chav girl serving:"...(blank face).."
Me: "OK, forget it, I'll just have a coffee."
Not ONCE did anyone apologise to me. At times it was like a Monty Python or Chris Morris sketch. I'm particularly thinking of the Morris "Jam" skit where a company hires thick people for jobs, as they know that eventually the customer will just give up in exasperation when they realise they aren't going to get anywhere!
I consequently got back into the arena around 30 seconds after we had scored our first goal, just catching the replay on the big screen. Thanks a fucking bunch, Wedges Bar! You suck worse than Tango Ken!
