Yesterday for this old git (2 Viewers)

thekidfromstrettoncamp

Well-Known Member
Woke up yesterday morning at 5 o' clock in the home of the Bedworth home for the bewilder though Saturday oh no I've got to go to that horrible RICOH again matron tell me I have to go I've got 1 of those blue plastic card she says they count me if I 'am not there. I say I will go to the dentist the doctor have another heart op I will even shake hands with Donald Fart don't make me go. Take my pills plenty of pain killers ease the pain put my Tens thermals and gloves on. Off I go stop at Tracey's for some breakfast got to eat well .Get to the ground see a guy on crutches I think hope all of the team put as much effort as you are just getting to the ground (some did not). Walk up to the turnstile a nice young came up and started feeling me round the collar and then under the arms I said "What your game mate if I was a bit younger I would give you a bunch of fives" he told me he was looking for tennis balls I said "O yes" anyway I had not got them I could see shmmeee standing their hoping 1 of those big boys would come and frisk her she had all the tennis balls in her hand bag in her tights up her jumper least I think that's what they were, anyway they did not get them .Got in sat down the game started we had had a player on the right wing kicking the ball with his left foot ran down the line he had to stop and come back to cross it with his left foot. All of a sudden tennis balls started coming down on to the grass I looked up a saw some young boys throwing them down I though naughty shmmeee giving those tennis balls out she did not give me 1 (wish she would) it was good exercise for them .There were boys in blue standing talking you would think they would have thrown them back but they just kept watching them not very fair anyway the 1's on the grass kept them not very nice the game re started and they scored a goal our keeper did not catch it don't know why/and some guy looked up at the clock and clapped why? I don't know .Anyway half time come though we will see some good entertainment now when I was younger Mr Hill even rode a horse round the ground all we got was some guy getting a shirt he should have got it at the shop still it was more exciting than the game . In the second half they scored again now I know why he did not catch it our keeper I mean because he drops it. even I can catch a big ball like that .We lost 2 -0 went home went on the typewriter least I think it was said I seen the tennis balls this guy (Nick)said they should not have done that I said I was good exercise he said he clapped after the goal Now I know the name of the guy who clapped their goal and I know where you sits coming up on Tuesday and ill hit you with my zimmer frame don't think you will get me back because ill have my big boy with me 6feet 6 built like our outhouse. HE IS coming up with his big son nearly as big but he does not walk over drains they both blame me for getting them to go up used to smuggle the big one in my coat gets. out of going now his excuse is he works on Saturday and as for the boy use to take 2 boys 2 girls the girls had a good excuse they moved to Cornwall the boys are just to big for me to clout. Got to go now take my tablets back soon to tell you what we will do with those blue bits of plastic .I know some say hope not
 

hill83

Well-Known Member
xBYJPRB.gif
 

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
I stopped reading after "Woke up yesterday morning at 5 o' clock in the home of the Bedworth home for the bewilder..."
 

Senior Vick from Alicante

Well-Known Member
Sorry lads, think my old man has been on the gin again. The ramblings of a septagenarian! Think what he's trying to say that after 60 years he might be ready to throw in the towel. I will confess to being 6ft 6 but more podgy that brick shithouse now a days. Was even part of the naughty boys back in the 80s, just like too bump into Fischer on Tuesday and inflict some of the pain on him that he is putting my old man through. Anyone fancy a tar and feather session with a pint in the RAOB after? Pusb.
 

ajsccfc

Well-Known Member
We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones
 

thekidfromstrettoncamp

Well-Known Member
Sorry everyone back again hear the boo's from here .You know these plastic things with S T on them I know talking to others all of you don't want them only 2 want to keep them so I have got a big box it will take 4,498, I will take those2 down to Tim at the Butts tell him only 2 want more pain next season(fools) the others ill take them an get them melted down and have a statue of dear old Joy get it put up by J H after all she has took us through the divisions just like him and she has not finished yet, by the way want a exclusive I know where Tim and Mark were yesterday Tim went to Lincoln and Mark went to Blackpool nothing like planning early .I tell you we will be on the front foot starting as we mean to go on, Hello ajsccfc he is in here with me. Another exclusive before I go we are moving to Bedworth next year ground may be a bit big but we will get Bedworth council to put some matting down keep the other teams hooligans away from ours (no more tennis balls) nick does not like them you 2 can catch the 20 from Coventry see you in The White Horse park my electric scooter out side we have can have a couple of Ribera's will not go in with you I can see the Oval from my window no fool me Sorry got to go here comes Matron. P S We will show you 2 a good time swings in the park are great. Bye
 

Bob Latchford

Well-Known Member
Sweet Jesus :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:
 

wingy

Well-Known Member
Sorry lads, think my old man has been on the gin again. The ramblings of a septagenarian! Think what he's trying to say that after 60 years he might be ready to throw in the towel. I will confess to being 6ft 6 but more podgy that brick shithouse now a days. Was even part of the naughty boys back in the 80s, just like too bump into Fischer on Tuesday and inflict some of the pain on him that he is putting my old man through. Anyone fancy a tar and feather session with a pint in the RAOB after? Pusb.
Depends if there's a penalty shoot out! :p
 

Leamington Pete

Well-Known Member
Woke up yesterday morning at 5 o' clock in the home of the Bedworth home for the bewilder though Saturday oh no I've got to go to that horrible RICOH again matron tell me I have to go I've got 1 of those blue plastic card she says they count me if I 'am not there. I say I will go to the dentist the doctor have another heart op I will even shake hands with Donald Fart don't make me go. Take my pills plenty of pain killers ease the pain put my Tens thermals and gloves on. Off I go stop at Tracey's for some breakfast got to eat well .Get to the ground see a guy on crutches I think hope all of the team put as much effort as you are just getting to the ground (some did not). Walk up to the turnstile a nice young came up and started feeling me round the collar and then under the arms I said "What your game mate if I was a bit younger I would give you a bunch of fives" he told me he was looking for tennis balls I said "O yes" anyway I had not got them I could see shmmeee standing their hoping 1 of those big boys would come and frisk her she had all the tennis balls in her hand bag in her tights up her jumper least I think that's what they were, anyway they did not get them .Got in sat down the game started we had had a player on the right wing kicking the ball with his left foot ran down the line he had to stop and come back to cross it with his left foot. All of a sudden tennis balls started coming down on to the grass I looked up a saw some young boys throwing them down I though naughty shmmeee giving those tennis balls out she did not give me 1 (wish she would) it was good exercise for them .There were boys in blue standing talking you would think they would have thrown them back but they just kept watching them not very fair anyway the 1's on the grass kept them not very nice the game re started and they scored a goal our keeper did not catch it don't know why/and some guy looked up at the clock and clapped why? I don't know .Anyway half time come though we will see some good entertainment now when I was younger Mr Hill even rode a horse round the ground all we got was some guy getting a shirt he should have got it at the shop still it was more exciting than the game . In the second half they scored again now I know why he did not catch it our keeper I mean because he drops it. even I can catch a big ball like that .We lost 2 -0 went home went on the typewriter least I think it was said I seen the tennis balls this guy (Nick)said they should not have done that I said I was good exercise he said he clapped after the goal Now I know the name of the guy who clapped their goal and I know where you sits coming up on Tuesday and ill hit you with my zimmer frame don't think you will get me back because ill have my big boy with me 6feet 6 built like our outhouse. HE IS coming up with his big son nearly as big but he does not walk over drains they both blame me for getting them to go up used to smuggle the big one in my coat gets. out of going now his excuse is he works on Saturday and as for the boy use to take 2 boys 2 girls the girls had a good excuse they moved to Cornwall the boys are just to big for me to clout. Got to go now take my tablets back soon to tell you what we will do with those blue bits of plastic .I know some say hope not

Here mate, have some of these on me ,,,,,,,,,,,,............,,,,,,,,,,,......................,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Feel free to use them where you want.
 

smouch1975

Well-Known Member
Why are you blokes knocking a 70 year old?

Wish my parents were half as with it

Sent from my SM-N915G using Tapatalk
 

hill83

Well-Known Member
I'd rather have the piss taken out of me when I'm 70 than be patted on the head and patronised.
 

andrew.roberts

Well-Known Member
" The White Horse park my electric scooter out side we have can have a couple of Ribera's will not go in with you I can see the Oval from my window "

I must congratulate you on your taste in wine. The Ribera del Duero region produces some of Spain's finest... Unless of course you meant to say Ribenas...

Sent from my XT1068 using Tapatalk
 
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