Words fail me. (13 Viewers)

[Otis]

I vaguely recall, but haven't researched, that homosexual men have a slightly different brain configuration to heterosexual men. However to date they have not found anything similar within the brains of homosexual women.

Is that something to do with them being too small to analyse?

 

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[mrtrench]

Is that something to do with them being too small to analyse?

Nah that's your little Otis you are thinking about.

 

[Otis]

Nah that's your little Otis you are thinking about.

I haven't as much seen my little Otis for years.

It's there amongst rolls of fat somewhere I believe.

 

[Deleted member 5849]

I'm not advocating a cure, but surely there can be help to help control urges.

Yup. It's also complicated, and not sure any of us know the answer, but I think it's fair to say what people are attracted to changes through time anyway. I'm relieved to say now I'm middle aged, I don't really fancy 18yos. Not that I get the chance to test whether I'd turn one down(!) but as I get older, I find myself fancying people (roughly!) in my age bracket, with similar likes to me, similar cultural references.

So within that, I'm not entirely unconvinced that somebody can't be immature in their tendencies, and grow up and fancy adults... but I have no idea how you'd test that, and it might be utter bollocks!

In a 'normal' sense, most of us can resist our urges with people we're attracted to if they don't like us back, so *that* principle can surely be taught?

The problem in the instance in the OP appears to be that people ask for help, but often aren't given it *until* they offend... which seems bonkers to me, whatever the potential crime. I appreciate you have nutters who want attention, and tbf it must be hard to weed them out (if you come on here and say you have a massive desire to murder Mrs. Otis, at what point do we believe you?) but surely we should put in place some kind of procedure to see what help we can give people wherever possible?

 

[Paxman II]

Is that something to do with them being too small to analyse?

Does that mean in the race to equality for women they already have a built in disadvantage? :happy:

 

[Gazolba]

I vaguely recall, but haven't researched, that homosexual men have a slightly different brain configuration to heterosexual men. However to date they have not found anything similar within the brains of homosexual women.

Everyone has a different brain configuration to everyone else.
That's why some people are extroverts and some are introverts, why some people have a knack for music, maths or languages while others don't.
Personally, I believe there is both a nature component and a nurture component to sexual inclinations.
I'm not sure enough research has been done on the subject to be much more specific.

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Yup. It's also complicated, and not sure any of us know the answer, but I think it's fair to say what people are attracted to changes through time anyway. I'm relieved to say now I'm middle aged, I don't really fancy 18yos. Not that I get the chance to test whether I'd turn one down(!) but as I get older, I find myself fancying people (roughly!) in my age bracket, with similar likes to me, similar cultural references.

So within that, I'm not entirely unconvinced that somebody can't be immature in their tendencies, and grow up and fancy adults... but I have no idea how you'd test that, and it might be utter bollocks!

In a 'normal' sense, most of us can resist our urges with people we're attracted to if they don't like us back, so *that* principle can surely be taught?

The problem in the instance in the OP appears to be that people ask for help, but often aren't given it *until* they offend... which seems bonkers to me, whatever the potential crime. I appreciate you have nutters who want attention, and tbf it must be hard to weed them out (if you come on here and say you have a massive desire to murder Mrs. Otis, at what point do we believe you?) but surely we should put in place some kind of procedure to see what help we can give people wherever possible?

Yep that’s bonkers

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Misperceptions about child sex offenders Seems 30% is the figure but some of the numbers in this article from Australia are terrible

 

[Otis]

Yup. It's also complicated, and not sure any of us know the answer, but I think it's fair to say what people are attracted to changes through time anyway. I'm relieved to say now I'm middle aged, I don't really fancy 18yos. Not that I get the chance to test whether I'd turn one down(!) but as I get older, I find myself fancying people (roughly!) in my age bracket, with similar likes to me, similar cultural references.

So within that, I'm not entirely unconvinced that somebody can't be immature in their tendencies, and grow up and fancy adults... but I have no idea how you'd test that, and it might be utter bollocks!

In a 'normal' sense, most of us can resist our urges with people we're attracted to if they don't like us back, so *that* principle can surely be taught?

The problem in the instance in the OP appears to be that people ask for help, but often aren't given it *until* they offend... which seems bonkers to me, whatever the potential crime. I appreciate you have nutters who want attention, and tbf it must be hard to weed them out (if you come on here and say you have a massive desire to murder Mrs. Otis, at what point do we believe you?) but surely we should put in place some kind of procedure to see what help we can give people wherever possible?

Of course I don't want to murder Mrs. Otis.

I would very much like someone else to do it for me.

 

[Malaka]

Misperceptions about child sex offenders Seems 30% is the figure but some of the numbers in this article from Australia are terrible

I have highlighted many times about the misconceptions of child abusers. They are often trusted and known to the vicitim. We now have the internet and kids abusing kids.
We are overwhelmed with kids with sexually inappropriate behaviours, however, I would say that this is a learned behaviour and they are often victims of sexual abuse themselves. This is a growing concern for professionals.
I visited a home that specialised in sexually inappropriate behaviours and I was told off for shaking the kids hands when I met them. I was told no physical contact and that they were not even allowed to play football?
My question was if I place the young person here and I phoned and asked you to tell him that a family member had died and he cried at the news, would you comfort him with a cuddle?
The answer was an emphatic no
My next question was then how will they ever understand what appropriate physical contact is?
They couldn't answer. And these were a specialist providers.
I never placed him there

 

[Otis]

I have highlighted many times about the misconceptions of child abusers. They are often trusted and known to the vicitim. We now have the internet and kids abusing kids.
We are overwhelmed with kids with sexually inappropriate behaviours, however, I would say that this is a learned behaviour and they are often victims of sexual abuse themselves. This is a growing concern for professionals.
I visited a home that specialised in sexually inappropriate behaviours and I was told off for shaking the kids hands when I met them. I was told no physical contact and that they were not even allowed to play football?
My question was if I place the young person here and I phoned and asked you to tell him that a family member had died and he cried at the news, would you comfort him with a cuddle?
The answer was an emphatic no
My next question was then how will they ever understand what appropriate physical contact is?
They couldn't answer. And these were a specialist providers.
I never placed him there

Good on you.

 

[Gazolba]

<snip>
My question was if I place the young person here and I phoned and asked you to tell him that a family member had died and he cried at the news, would you comfort him with a cuddle?
The answer was an emphatic no
My next question was then how will they ever understand what appropriate physical contact is?
<snip>

I just took a sexual harassment class at work, and according to that, there is NO acceptable form of physical contact.
Harassment is defined as anything the victim perceives to be inappropriate.
The fact that the perpetrator did not perceive it to be or mean it to be is not an excuse.

 

[Otis]

I just took a sexual harassment class at work, and according to that, there is NO acceptable form of physical contact.
Harassment is defined as anything the victim perceives to be inappropriate.
The fact that the perpetrator did not perceive it to be or mean it to be is not an excuse.

Which is ridiculous.

No physical contact then obviously means no shaking hands. Think some of the clients/customers my think that very rude.

 

[bringbackrattles]

Everyone has a different brain configuration to everyone else.
That's why some people are extroverts and some are introverts, why some people have a knack for music, maths or languages while others don't.
Personally, I believe there is both a nature component and a nurture component to sexual inclinations.
I'm not sure enough research has been done on the subject to be much more specific.

Changing mind thought is possible as I've proven with my life.I had to do 3 prison sentences to show me violence is not the answer to people/things that irritate or cause you bother etc. I was an aggressive bloke at times when drinking,but also when I was banged up. But 20 years ago I changed my thought patterns,learnt to walk away from aggro and keep calm instead of hitting someone, I learnt techniques through help from a psychologist. My life was heading to a lifetime of prison, but through my efforts I've turned things around. So yes people can change !

 

[Otis]

Changing mind thought is possible as I've proven with my life.I had to do 3 prison sentences to show me violence is not the answer to people/things that irritate or cause you bother etc. I was an aggressive bloke at times when drinking,but also when I was banged up. But 20 years ago I changed my thought patterns,learnt to walk away from aggro and keep calm instead of hitting someone, I learnt techniques through help from a psychologist. My life was heading to a lifetime of prison, but through my efforts I've turned things around. So yes people can change !

And hats off to you for doing so, BBR. Well done for turning your life around.

Hope you don't mind, but I mentioned you to my daughter to say that people can change and can turn their lives around.

 

[bringbackrattles]

And hats off to you for doing so, BBR. Well done for turning your life around.

Hope you don't mind, but I mentioned you to my daughter to say that people can change and can turn their lives around.

Of course I don't mind. Is she a handful then ? My youngest son is like I once was though and he won't back down,and he's 33 !

 

[Otis]

Of course I don't mind. Is she a handful then ? My youngest son is like I once was though and he won't back down,and he's 33 !

No, not a handful, but she's very much of the 'This is the way that I am and I can't do anything about it' notion.

 

[bringbackrattles]

No, not a handful, but she's very much of the 'This is the way that I am and I can't do anything about it' notion.

Tell her anybody can change if they really "want to " that's the key.

 

[Otis]

Tell her anybody can change if they really "want to " that's the key.

I know that.

She has this tendency to say hurtful things without thinking and she immediately regrets it. It is that, that she says she cannot change.

Truth is of course, she can and we all pretty much learn to bite our lip at times in our daily lives for the most part.

 

[singers_pore]

Going back to the OP where the tweet said that paedos should get help not condemnation. Surely the two are not mutually exclusive. In other words, they can be helped at the same time as being condemned. Carrot and stick.

 

[chiefdave]

Interesting watch.
Stacey Dooley Investigates - Second Chance Sex Offenders