Are you happy (9 Viewers)

[Covkid1968#]

Happy new year to you as well mate. Are you up here for the game tomorrow? Nice little journey over the water for me this one!

I’m hoping too....

Happy new year to you as well mate. Are you up here for the game tomorrow? Nice little journey over the water for me this one!

Cheers PB....Last few years I’ve gone on NYD depending on what sort of state my head is in. not getting a ticket so will go in the home end if required. Like you say... short trip through the tunnel and I’m up here with family till Thursday I went Wycombe just in case I let myself down later and am crawling around an unfamiliar bedroom at 4am in the morning

 

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[PurpleBin]

I’m hoping too....

Cheers PB....Last few years I’ve gone on NYD depending on what sort of state my head is in. not getting a ticket so will go in the home end if required. Like you say... short trip through the tunnel and I’m up here with family till Thursday I went Wycombe just in case I let myself down later and am crawling around an unfamiliar bedroom at 4am in the morning

Ha sounds like fun! You can't miss the City a few miles away, even if in the home end...!

 

[Great_Expectations]

What a fantastic thread. The courage of those who have opened up is incredibly impressive.

One thing I’d add on the friends front; there’s nothing wrong with having one group of friends. Despite going to uni, travelling, playing for different sports teams and working in different places, I still have the same group of friends I made when we all started secondary school nearly 20 years ago. If you find people you like, you don’t need anyone else!

I find exercise is great for your mental wellbeing, I have done nothing for the last few months and I can really tell the difference (physically too!!). If anyone ever wants to get out and feels a run will help - I’m more than happy to be a running partner.

 

[Blind-Faith]

Will be 5 months sober this coming Monday , first xmas time not drinking, I feel fucking miserable.

Xmas eve , xmas day, Boxing Day and now nye all out the way with no booze. Let’s hope it starts getting easier , half of me is wanting to get back to work and back into routine.

Two whole weeks off is a dangerous thing for a recovering Alcoholic especially this time of year.

if I drink one more can of DR Pepper I think I mite explode.

If your able to enjoy and control your drinking, somebody please have a whiskey for me tonight!

 

[PurpleBin]

Will be 5 months sober this coming Monday , first xmas time not drinking, I feel fucking miserable.

Xmas eve , xmas day, Boxing Day and now nye all out the way with no booze. Let’s hope it starts getting easier , half of me is wanting to get back to work and back into routine.

Two whole weeks off is a dangerous thing for a recovering Alcoholic especially this time of year.

if I drink one more can of DR Pepper I think I mite explode.

If your able to enjoy and control your drinking, somebody please have a whiskey for me tonight!

Sounds like it doesn't feel like it right now but that's some achievement if you're used to drinking to excess...well done!

 

[ICHAN]

Wow what an amazing thread, happy 2020 btw.
I suffer with a form of Parkinson's, and fair play to the OP of this thread to reveal himself with difficulties in life and everyone else who has.
But please don't be to quick to dismiss social media. ifve used right it's a good thing.
I set up a social media site for people who suffer with what I have, and these people are so grateful becuse they don't feel alone, I have had people from across the world saying thank you, we are lucky because people on here will respond, but not everyone is on a site like this.
I felt alone for years ( well actually since I was about 11) and if anyone knows me then they know, my troubles they ŵere mine and I dealt with them through Tim, I still get anxious at times, but I swell my life in work to cope worth it.
Anyway sorry getting away from the point, all,I can say after years of ridicule which is different as mine is a seen disorder, not an unseen problem is I treat myself ( which someone mentioned)? and boy do I treat myself, it makes me feel amazing, so to the OP treat yourself because you are worth it always.
Oh back to the point sorry, your not alone and so many people across the wotld were so grateful of a social media site where they felt they could at least talk to someone who was going though a shit disease no matter what it is.
God bless you the OP of this thread stay strong people do care

 

[fellatio_Martinez]

After Christmas I had a month stretch where I just couldn’t shake off anxiety. I felt like I was underwater most of the time, had dizzy spells and all manner of symptoms. I'm pretty sure depression started to kick in a bit too because I found myself making excuses to go to bed as soon as I possibly could after work and I'd dread getting out of bed in the morning.

I was seriously considering just going to the doctor and asking for pills when I stumbled upon an app called Dare. It guides you through clinically proven ways to manage anxiety and how to stop it in it's tracks. I found myself instantly becoming less tense and the cloud lifting the first night I listened. The audio is spoken by an expert who has a very relaxing and comforting tone. It almost feels like a therapy session. There are also meditations in the programme but I personally find them less helpful than actual expert advice.

I downloaded it a week ago and today I feel almost 100% fine and if I do feel a rush of anxiety I know how to handle it instead of just worrying and making it worse which I'd been doing for about a year or so. A constant loop of worrying about feeling anxious which made me more anxious which manifested itself physically which in turn lead to more worry and so on. Being inside your own head all day is exhausting and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


I highly recommend the app. It tackles depression and worry also. You can sign up for a free 15 day trial which unlocks the entire app which I think is enough time to get the full benefits without spending a penny.

Dare Apps — Dare Response

 

[covmark]

After Christmas I had a month stretch where I just couldn’t shake off anxiety. I felt like I was underwater most of the time, had dizzy spells and all manner of symptoms. I'm pretty sure depression started to kick in a bit too because I found myself making excuses to go to bed as soon as I possibly could after work and I'd dread getting out of bed in the morning.

I was seriously considering just going to the doctor and asking for pills when I stumbled upon an app called Dare. It guides you through clinically proven ways to manage anxiety and how to stop it in it's tracks. I found myself instantly becoming less tense and the cloud lifting the first night I listened. The audio is spoken by an expert who has a very relaxing and comforting tone. It almost feels like a therapy session. There are also meditations in the programme but I personally find them less helpful than actual expert advice.

I downloaded it a week ago and today I feel almost 100% fine and if I do feel a rush of anxiety I know how to handle it instead of just worrying and making it worse which I'd been doing for about a year or so. A constant loop of worrying about feeling anxious which made me more anxious which manifested itself physically which in turn lead to more worry and so on. Being inside your own head all day is exhausting and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


I highly recommend the app. It tackles depression and worry also. You can sign up for a free 15 day trial which unlocks the entire app which I think is enough time to get the full benefits without spending a penny.

Dare Apps — Dare Response

Glad you've found something that helps you mate.

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[Wyken Sky Blue]

This is a great thread to keep alive!

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[Wyken Sky Blue]

Curious question to those who suffer from severe anxiety:

Was there a particular point in your life which caused you to suffer more or do you think you have always suffered but certain days its more alarming than others?

Sorry if its too personal a question, I'm just trying to understand more why it happens.

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[rd45]

Curious question to those who suffer from severe anxiety:

Was there a particular point in your life which caused you to suffer more or do you think you have always suffered but certain days its more alarming than others?

Sorry if its too personal a question, I'm just trying to understand more why it happens.

Sent from my I3113 using Tapatalk

For me - it was always there in the background to some extent but life events forced it out in the open. I had a load of pressure at work that tipped it over the edge & led to a couple of months of constant full on 100% anxiety.

IMHO everyone has a threshold somewhere, that’s set at a certain level by childhood, life experience (good or bad) and personality type. In everyday life, if things are going well for you, you’re well above your threshold & everything’s good. But if you come under pressure from work, ill health, relationship problems, whatever - that can scrape a few layers off your well-being & leave you closer to your threshold. Some people are unlucky & have to spend a lot of their time very near their limit, and it only takes a tiny push to send them over. But for anyone, if you dip down far enough for long enough, you’ll hit your limit at some point & then whatever underlying shit will get stirred up. Need to keep enough in your tank that you’re able to stay above your threshold, wherever it is. If you’re lucky you never find out.

 

[Wyken Sky Blue]

For me - it was always there in the background to some extent but life events forced it out in the open. I had a load of pressure at work that tipped it over the edge & led to a couple of months of constant full on 100% anxiety.

IMHO everyone has a threshold somewhere, that’s set at a certain level by childhood, life experience (good or bad) and personality type. In everyday life, if things are going well for you, you’re well above your threshold & everything’s good. But if you come under pressure from work, ill health, relationship problems, whatever - that can scrape a few layers off your well-being & leave you closer to your threshold. Some people are unlucky & have to spend a lot of their time very near their limit, and it only takes a tiny push to send them over. But for anyone, if you dip down far enough for long enough, you’ll hit your limit at some point & then whatever underlying shit will get stirred up. Need to keep enough in your tank that you’re able to stay above your threshold, wherever it is. If you’re lucky you never find out.

Thank you for your reply and compresenhive answer.

I personally wouldn't class myself as having 'anxiety', although I would be lying if I haven't over thought things or constantly worrying at times. I deal with it quite well which I guess means I'm nowhere near the levels some people are.

Sounds like things can change as life goes on. Very important to keep on talking about it too to raise awareness

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[fellatio_Martinez]

Curious question to those who suffer from severe anxiety:

Was there a particular point in your life which caused you to suffer more or do you think you have always suffered but certain days its more alarming than others?

Sorry if its too personal a question, I'm just trying to understand more why it happens.

Mine felt like it came out of nowhere but looking back at it there were obvious triggers. Two close family members died of cancer within a short period of time and I was around them a lot. I put on a brave face and was strong for those around me, trying to make people laugh and take everyone's mind off death and suffering. I pushed any sadness or grief to the back of my mind but seeing people you love slowly dying is the hardest thing anyone can go through. It's like a living nightmare and I'd often use alcohol to numb my feelings at the end of the day.

Then about a few months after the last person died I remember feeling a little pain in my head and I instantly started worrying that I had a brain tumour and I was the next person to die. My breathing became short, my heart was pounding out of my chest and I thought I was a goner. I went to A&E, got the all clear and the doctor there mentioned the word 'anxiety"which I hadn't even considered as I'm laid back by nature.

The next year or so I felt completely shit to varying degrees and I couldn't explain a lot of it. I'd feel really claustrophobic and dizzy in supermarkets or shops. If my girlfriend got close to me and looked me in the eyes I'd sometimes feel very pressured and wanted to push her away. I generally felt odd and detached a lot of the time. Sometimes I'd be watching TV and part of my face would go numb. I got symptoms that scared the shit out of me and I'd just spiral into self doubt which made things worse. The best way to describe what I felt was that it felt like being underwater most of the time but trying to act like I wasn't and then add dizziness, confusion and anxiousness on top of that.

Thankfully I feel like I have a lid on it now but I could easily have gone down an even darker path.

Two years ago I would have made fun of people with mental issues but now I know just how horrible they are and that every single one of us is susceptible to them at any time in our lives.

 

[David O'Day]

Most of the time you are happy, you're a weirdo

 

[Nick]

Two years ago I would have made fun of people with mental issues but now I know just how horrible they are and that every single one of us is susceptible to them at any time in our lives.

I still think there are a lot of people who mistake having a bad day for mental issues though.

I work with somebody who really plays the mental health card whenever needed.

 

[shmmeee]

I still think there are a lot of people who mistake having a bad day for mental issues though.

I work with somebody who really plays the mental health card whenever needed.

Even with genuine ones there’s a victim mentality that’s sometimes encouraged and in my experience is counterproductive

 

[tisza]

"liked" a lot of posts on here today. Hadn't seen this thread before
I've had a couple of difficult years when I could have lost everything I've worked all my life to build up.
I've experienced anxiety and even panic attacks which is something I never expected to happen to someone my age.
This thread has "humanized" things that have happened to me. The knowledge that it's not unique to me is strangely reassuring and something I can start to accept. With acceptance comes the hope/belief there is light at the end of the tunnel.
So a genuine thanks to those that have shared. Maybe something I need to learn how to do

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

I’m a little anxious as being made redundant from work and really am not sure which way to turn next

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

I’m a little anxious as being made redundant from work and really am not sure which way to turn next

What were you working in before?

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

What were you working in before?

I’m still there. Worked my way up in hmrc over 28 year career. Project managing, writing and delivering learning and development activity. That kind of thing

 

[JulianDarbyFTW]

I’m still there. Worked my way up in hmrc over 28 year career. Project managing, writing and delivering learning and development activity. That kind of thing

You'll have a ton of transferable skills, and clearly have a lot of knowledge and experience to offer. Leaving something you've known for nearly 3 decades is going to be a real change, but sometimes that's a good thing. You'll have to spend some time really getting to grips with what you want to do next, but see it as an adventure. You'll get to experience something new that might reignite you.

Best of luck with whatever you do next.

 

[Nick]

I’m a little anxious as being made redundant from work and really am not sure which way to turn next

Sorry to hear that!

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Sorry to hear that!

Given me a bit of time to coordinate stuff on here and take things forward with all parties

 

[fellatio_Martinez]

So a genuine thanks to those that have shared. Maybe something I need to learn how to do

You just did good buddy!

 

[clint van damme]

I still think there are a lot of people who mistake having a bad day for mental issues though.

I work with somebody who really plays the mental health card whenever needed.

I've always said this, people who are a bit down say, "oh, I'm depressed", and because they can pull themselves out of a bit of melancholy with some positive thinking they think that's all people with actual depression have to do.
It's like saying I've got a cancer when all you've got is a cold.

 

[clint van damme]

I’m a little anxious as being made redundant from work and really am not sure which way to turn next

Pete, you've almost single handily turned the narrative of the on-going City saga, it's a career in politics for you mate.

I'm losing my job in the summer and can't wait. On to the next chapter of my life. My heart says I'll go on to bigger and better things, my head says I'll end up up part of the Wetherspoons day release!

 

[covmark]

I still think there are a lot of people who mistake having a bad day for mental issues though.

I work with somebody who really plays the mental health card whenever needed.

Speaking from my experience, I tried my hardest to hide my mental health problems from everyone. To this day my wife is the only person who knows what struggles I've had.
Like you say there's a difference between having a bad day and having a mental illness, and I'm not sure that many people with genuine mental health problems, want the whole world to know about their issues.


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[TomRad85]

I’m a little anxious as being made redundant from work and really am not sure which way to turn next

I've worked at 3 different companies that have gone tits up and ended up redundant 3 times.. first time I was devastated, I sulked and took ages to find a job as I wasn't really trying. Now its water off a ducks back and I've walked straight into new jobs every time. Get applying for as many (suitable) jobs as possible. I'm telling you now, chances are you'll end up in a job you prefer.

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[mrtrench]

It was 40
Minutes of walking and thinking before I came up with the perfect response. As it was I just literally ignored him. That happens a lot.

The french have a phrase for that: 'L'esprit de l'escalier', which translates literally as 'the wit of the staircase'. Happens to us all.

I'm rather older than you but share your self-doubt, self-criticism and introvert nature. I hate parties and places where I have to make small-talk - but oddly enough I can get up on a stage when I have a script and I can talk to anyone or a crowd about things I know well. I won't say I've fully come to terms with it and I still get anxious often; sorry I don't know the answers. But I have learned to smile at people when they talk to me and pretend a little. I also decline party invitations now and avoid situations where I'm going to feel bad. What I'm trying to say is, that there are many of us struggling in the same way - and many of us pretending in public, so you mustn't assume you are alone. It's just one part of the human condition.

I hope you find happiness.

Edit: One other thought. I was in a job in Wales 30 years ago and having a very hard time with the locals. It was suggested that it may be racism to me more than once and if so, it was an 'interesting' situation to be in. I won't go on to virtue signal about how awful racism is...

Anyway, one guy told HR that everyone thought I was a twat (in so many words) and the HR manager told me - she told me to 'buck up'. It devastated me and I couldn't think what I had done to make them all hate me: I'd been quiet and just got on with my job. I was speaking about it to my boss and he said that he thought I was just shy and that the people attacking me were just very negative people. The point is that some people, even extrovert people, have empathy and understanding - so add that to the introverts and it's much more than 50% I reckon who can relate to you.

 

[tisza]

Speaking from my experience, I tried my hardest to hide my mental health problems from everyone. To this day my wife is the only person who knows what struggles I've had.
Like you say there's a difference between having a bad day and having a mental illness, and I'm not sure that many people with genuine mental health problems, want the whole world to know about their issues.


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I can relate to this. My wife is the only who I've opened up to and that took time to do.
I don't really understand what's happened to me. I can see the root causes of some of it but can't seem to "bounce" back like I did when I was younger and had setbacks.
Like others on here I've resorted to avoidance of situations I'm now uncomfortable in.

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

The french have a phrase for that: 'L'esprit de l'escalier', which translates literally as 'the wit of the staircase'. Happens to us all.

I'm rather older than you but share your self-doubt, self-criticism and introvert nature. I hate parties and places where I have to make small-talk - but oddly enough I can get up on a stage when I have a script and I can talk to anyone or a crowd about things I know well. I won't say I've fully come to terms with it and I still get anxious often; sorry I don't know the answers. But I have learned to smile at people when they talk to me and pretend a little. I also decline party invitations now and avoid situations where I'm going to feel bad. What I'm trying to say is, that there are many of us struggling in the same way - and many of us pretending in public, so you mustn't assume you are alone. It's just one part of the human condition.

I hope you find happiness.

Edit: One other thought. I was in a job in Wales 30 years ago and having a very hard time with the locals. It was suggested that it may be racism to me more than once and if so, it was an 'interesting' situation to be in. I won't go on to virtue signal about how awful racism is...

Anyway, one guy told HR that everyone thought I was a twat (in so many words) and the HR manager told me - she told me to 'buck up'. It devastated me and I couldn't think what I had done to make them all hate me: I'd been quiet and just got on with my job. I was speaking about it to my boss and he said that he thought I was just shy and that the people attacking me were just very negative people. The point is that some people, even extrovert people, have empathy and understanding - so add that to the introverts and it's much more than 50% I reckon who can relate to you.

I’m shite at small talk so find it hard to just strike up conversations with new folk. Even in the staff room I’m fine with people I know better but if I don’t see the point of a chat about the weather or whatever then I won’t say much. In front of classes I have to act like the opposite to that.

The flip side is that made me an easy target in the same way you were. Basically it’s being singled out for being a bit different.

 

[tisza]

I’m shite at small talk so find it hard to just strike up conversations with new folk. Even in the staff room I’m fine with people I know better but if I don’t see the point of a chat about the weather or whatever then I won’t say much. In front of classes I have to act like the opposite to that.

The flip side is that made me an easy target in the same way you were. Basically it’s being singled out for being a bit different.

I get this. I always hated the "schmoozing" that people expected when I was building my businesses (the TV one was the worst).
I just don't get talking for the sake of talking. Some people used to think I was rude as I drifted off / became distracted during pointless group conversations.
Latest theme atm (being based overseas) is Megxit - rather than Brexit. Don't get offended if I glaze over and show no interest in something as inane as where minor Royals are going to live or how they are going to "earn" a living .

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

I get this. I always hated the "schmoozing" that people expected when I was building my businesses (the TV one was the worst).
I just don't get talking for the sake of talking. Some people used to think I was rude as I drifted off / became distracted during pointless group conversations.
Latest theme atm (being based overseas) is Megxit - rather than Brexit. Don't get offended if I glaze over and show no interest in something as inane as where minor Royals are going to live or how they are going to "earn" a living .

I freely admit I should make more effort with small talk in some situations. But there are many more who talk way too much for the sake of it.

 

[Deleted member 5849]

I hate parties and places where I have to make small-talk - but oddly enough I can get up on a stage when I have a script and I can talk to anyone or a crowd about things I know well.

I can do that - I suspect it's partly the same traits as an actor, it becomes a performance, so not you. It's also control if the script is there.

 

[mrtrench]

I can do that - I suspect it's partly the same traits as an actor, it becomes a performance, so not you. It's also control if the script is there.

I think you're right. And also the inner-suspicion that nothing I have to say is of any interest to others or that I'd be showing off. Do you act too? Just got back into it after 30 years of not having the time due to work.