My dad left us when I was 7.mum went to pieces and we were moved into monitored council housing with 2 similar families.
Sadly one of the mums took an overdose when we were there and died.later I went off the rails a bit and started hanging around with a group of older lads who got us shoplifting sweets etc.
2nd time I got caught. Only time my father took a belt to me. It was the shame, not the belt that "woke" me up.
Got 2 daughters I've never smacked. Sorely tempted when they hit their moody teens. Do wonder if I had had lads instead whether I might have treated discipline differently.
I have used the threat of discipline. That has always worked. When I say something they know I mean it. I always carry out what I say I will. The kids have just about always done as I have requested. The wife frequently doesn't carry out her threats. The kids don't do as she says quite frequently. And she can't work out why :wideyed:
When they are younger they lose electronic gadgets if they misbehave. Just the mention of removing tablets/consoles is enough. When they are older they know I won't take any crap. Works well considering all my lads are over 6'. And when they are about 18 they have all thanked me for being the way I was with them in their own way. They treat their own kids the same. I used to pull the plug off the TV so their consoles were a waste of time but they could still see them in their room when grounded.
Kids don't stop loving you for giving them discipline if done the right way although they don't appreciate it at the time. But they appreciate it when older. My 18 year old daughter has never had to be told off once by me in her life. She told.me a few years ago that she saw what happened to the next one up so.knew she would always lose. He is the only one who has really tested me. We laugh about it now.