Sarah Everard (3 Viewers)

[hill83]

"She said yes, Marlon." Stopping that kind of shit, for a start...

Makes me cringe thinking back to that. Fully involved as well.

 

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[Macca1987]

there was a simple suggestion put forward regarding crossing the road, (not a solution but just a little thing to help), look at the reaction.
There was a 10 percent increase in the number of women killed by a partner in this country last year, how would you like that statistic presented?

A terrible increase, but how many of those killings occurred in the household, I agree women should feel safe and be safe, but throwing out highlighted numbers like that doesn't help the situation

 

[Evo1883]

You’ve also got to consider there will be many people who would like to speak up about stuff like this but haven’t been able to until some sort of event and are now able to. Look at mental health and the thread on this forum as an example. You’d be laughed at even 10 years ago, maybe less.

I've just had a look at the list, which is long, of things that fall under harassment.

There are some things there that you agree are obvious

Some things are a bit petty tbh, you'd have to be extremely fragile to let it bother you, like if somebody called you babe?

And going off that list, I think we can safely say many men have been harrassed too, including me and probably you... Off the official list that is

 

[hill83]

Is that two people now inadvertently using the fact that women are more likely to be killed at home as a positive? Ha ha

 

[hill83]

I've just had a look at the list, which is long, of things that fall under harassment.

There are some things there that you agree are obvious

Some things are a bit petty tbh, you'd have to be extremely fragile to let it bother you, like if somebody called you babe?

And going off that list, I think we can safely say many men have been harrassed too, including me and probably you...

Yep, I’ve been harassed/grabbed several times. But I don’t live in fear of it. There’s no potential kidnap and rape/murder on the way home if I tell a woman to fuck off in a pub.

 

[Nick]

Is that two people now inadvertently using the fact that women are more likely to be killed at home as a positive? Ha ha

It's more pointing it out in response to the other extreme, it's not really a positive.

 

[hill83]

It's more pointing it out in response to the other extreme, it's not really a positive.

Again, I know. But I don’t see the need to point it out. I don’t understand what point is being made.

 

[Evo1883]

Yep, I’ve been harassed/grabbed several times. But I don’t live in fear of it. There’s no potential kidnap and rape/murder on the way home if I tell a woman to fuck off in a pub.

And 99. 9% of men won't do that to women either...

 

[hill83]

And 99. 9% of men won't do that to women either...

Don’t know exact figures, but in general, yeah I know. Doesn’t stop the fear though does it. And that’s the point right?

 

[Otis]

Appreciate the point they're trying to make is its a worse problem than most people are aware of but I struggle to believe those figures, especially at a time when we're all locked up in our houses.

There's loads of women out walking and jogging for exercise though and this Couch to 5K, or whatever it is called. I know loads of people doing it.

 

[chiefdave]

Is part of the issue with getting the message across that the lower end stuff that builds up fear in women, being hit on all the time, catcalled etc are things that a lot of men would be perfectly happy to have have happen to them?

 

[Macca1987]

Is that two people now inadvertently using the fact that women are more likely to be killed at home as a positive? Ha ha

Hi Hill83, I was one of the people who mentioned the killings at home, not as a positive, but as something we cannot affect. I am one that would cross the road or slow down, I feel women need that courtesy and feeling of safeness, but we can only do our little bit. The times on the streets where one of these truly awful murders happens, usually occurs because the male makes sure there is no-one else around. As many have said including yourself, we can only do our own individual part and I would hope all men on here would step up and do that

 

[rob9872]

Id just like to apologise for the conduct of my nation during the war.

 

[Otis]

A couple of things
1. Many men in senior positions at Boys only schools, already have the fear of interacting with women. It is so archaic now to have single sex schools, but if you dont encounter any women apart from your mum and porn until you are 18 , you can see where the problem is there

2. Women also need to stop using sexual attraction to get on, as that does not help
I interviewed 2 people this week, 1 was gorgeous, but vacant, and used all of the flirty techniques to try to make an impression
The other was just normal, plain but bright as a button

It would be very easy to see how the 1st one would get a job over the 2nd, and that is part of the problem

Very interesting point on the boys school. I know someone that married a bloke who went to all boys boarding school and he had no idea whatsoever how to treat women.

She left him in the end. She said he just expected sex every single day without fail. He believed that was how things should be. Whenever the man wants sex, the woman should succumb.

Didn't matter if she was tired or ill. She could have the worst migraine imaginable and he still wouldn't take no for an answer.

She actually had a bit of a breakdown in the end, before walking out.

That must have been so horrible. It wasn't physical threat. It was constant mental pressure.

 

[rob9872]

There's loads of women out walking and jogging for exercise though and this Couch to 5K, or whatever it is called. I know loads of people doing it.

I know. I struggle to keep up with them as it is, without having to zigzag across the road to pretend I'm not looking.

 

[hill83]

Slight side note. I got involved with a bloke and a woman arguing in the street as the bloke was being aggressive towards the woman. (I was drunk btw and it was in magaluf) And the women told be to fuck off and not get involved swung for me.

 

[Nick]

Slight side note. I got involved with a bloke and a woman arguing in the street as the bloke was being aggressive towards the woman. (I was drunk btw and it was in magaluf) And the women told be to fuck off and not get involved swung for me.

Hope you chinned the bitch, equality and all that.

I got punched by a woman outside the Colly back in the day, made me drop my rat burger. The c**t.

 

[hill83]

Hope you chinned the bitch, equality and all that.

Nah I’m light on my feet and weaved out the way. Kept my food intact as well.

 

[Covkid1968#]

I’ll give you some personal experience which may be interesting for some context. 20 odd years. I used to get a late tube back from the city to Putney 2-3 times a week when had been out for a few after work. At that time of night on that line it was very quiet and I frequently shared a carriage with a girl around about my age. When she got on I would always give her a very short friendly smile but then make a conscious effort to concentrate on a book or paper and not make eye contact. One night after a number of weeks she said “ you don’t say much do you?” So I replied “ well what would you have thought if I had randomly sparked up a conversation with you?”

straight away she answered “I’d think you were a facking natter”

which kind of sums it up for me

Danny Dyer in drag ?

 

[hill83]

Id just like to apologise for the conduct of my nation during the war.

That’s the same.

 

[clint van damme]

A terrible increase, but how many of those killings occurred in the household, I agree women should feel safe and be safe, but throwing out highlighted numbers like that doesn't help the situation

I clearly stated that they were domestic incidents that were different to the incident concerned but it's still rel3vant as far I'm concerned because as I said, I wasn't aware of it until it became hilighted in the general reporting surrounding this incident

 

[Nick]

Nah I’m light on my feet and weaved out the way. Kept my food intact as well.

Priorities.

 

[RedSalmon]

Slight side note. I got involved with a bloke and a woman arguing in the street as the bloke was being aggressive towards the woman. (I was drunk btw and it was in magaluf) And the women told be to fuck off and not get involved swung for me.

Been in that situation before, and being told by the woman "he's always like this, I can deal with it".

 

[clint van damme]

Tbf, thinking about my behaviours I do all these things anyway, maybe I'm just a thoughtful human. I do however object to this awful murder case being used as a stick for the media to beat men with. Its pathetic.

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Fair enough. Though by the same token you must be pissed off that people are using it as an excuse to bang on about wokeness and cancel culture?

 

[hill83]

Been in that situation before, and being told by the woman "he's always like this, I can deal with it".

I suppose in hindsight I shouldn’t have piled in unless asked specifically to help? Don’t know.

 

[Nick]

I suppose in hindsight I shouldn’t have piled in unless asked specifically to help? Don’t know.

That's the thing, it's hard to judge. Obviously meant it with the best intentions but it's easy to see why people don't bother.

I'd be thankful if it was my daughter and somebody stopped to help.

 

[clint van damme]

This isn’t rocket science. I’ve been doing this for years when walking at night in quiet places. Women, elderly, anyone who may be vulnerable. It’s just a way of sending a message of reassurance that I recognise their concern but actually I’m harmless!

But look how many people on here are against it. It's madness.

 

[hill83]

That's the thing, it's hard to judge. Obviously meant it with the best intentions but it's easy to see why people don't bother.

Plus I’m not the biggest of blokes so if I was asked to intervene and the aggressor is a 6 foot unit I probably wouldn’t get involved. Depends how many beers I’ve had. People just need to stop being dickheads. I’ve cracked the case.

 

[Nick]

People just need to stop being dickheads. I’ve cracked the case.

I'm getting Ali G in parliament visions for you to save the country.

It's true though, same with most of the country's problems. Don't be a dickhead.

 

[RedSalmon]

I suppose in hindsight I shouldn’t have piled in unless asked specifically to help? Don’t know.

Agree, but instinct makes you want to try and help prevent a possible assault. Looking at it objectively if me and my misses were having a verbal argument and someone came along and started sticking their nose in, my misses would probably be the first to tell them to mind their own business.

 

[hill83]

Agree, but instinct makes you want to try and help prevent a possible assault. Looking at it objectively if me and my misses were having a verbal argument and someone came along and started sticking their nose in, my misses would probably be the first to tell them to mind their own business.

Look at us. Critical self aware thinking without getting upset or angry.

 

[SBT]

I consider this along similar lines to the race issue and there’s a link between opinions by the same people on both issues. (Across the board not just on here, but I could to a man make a list of everyone who would kick off about this and they all have) Don’t know the answer though. Just don’t be a dickhead would be a start for everyone to consider.

Always nice to see the same people who'll do everything they can to downplay the need to help people struggling with sexual/racial harassment give it the big one when it comes to men's mental health as well.

 

[stupot07]

I sent this article to my ex yesterday saying it was appalling.

Four-fifths of young women in the UK have been sexually harassed, survey finds

Exclusive: YouGov poll reveals extent of abuse and lack of faith in authorities’ ability to deal with it

www.theguardian.com

She replied saying she’s not surprised. She has to think about safety issues that wouldn’t even cross my mind when out and about. I was aware what women face but not fully aware. I’ve called out inappropriate behaviour by my mates and people I know in the past and always get “Hills on one again, chill out mate it’s only a laugh.”

Let’s not pretend we don’t know what the bloke mentality is towards women, that’s a multi page thread on here that demonstrates that.

As for being embarrassed to be a man? No. Bit strong. But getting upset that people are calling for some self reflection and a bit of change? Equally as pathetic.

Thanks for the article Hill.

From talking to the missus, it was stuff like
-wolf whilsting walking past a building site
- "cheer up love, it might never happen"
- "wow, look at the tits on that / you don't get many of those for the pound"
- "get yer tits out for the lads"
- men sitting too close on public transport, so their legs touch, or on the tube to their crotch is near or rubbing against them, etc
- being followed around nightclubs or felt up on the dance floor
- white van men shouting "oi, oi" at a jogger
- man at work getting too close and into their personal space, leaning other them to touch the screen when showing them something, etc.
- even at school boys pinging girls bras,
Etc, etc.

Its all this lower level stuff, that builds and builds and grinds females down and builds up that fear.

Aswell as more overt harassment, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, threatening behaviour, etc.

I agree with your point about it being similar to race, its difficult for us men to really understand it as we don't live it, experience it, etc. Who are we to tell females they are wrong?




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[Macca]

Dead simple this one. Think of how you want the females you love to be treated.
Treat females like that

 

[SG21]

Off topic, but I do wonder just how much damage all boys/girls schools do. Woodlands and Tile Hill wood were terrible ideas here for example as they have zero idea how to talk or treat each over.