Tommo1993
Well-Known Member
Think mostly financial mate. Options obviously very limited.
The very little percentage of doctors who even have a vague idea is staggering.
How are you feeling? (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Greggs
- Start date
Think mostly financial mate. Options obviously very limited.
The very little percentage of doctors who even have a vague idea is staggering.
TomRad85
Well-Known Member
You'll know when the time is right to move on from it, what I would say is, if your username matches your birth date (and your wifes is similar) you very much have time on your side if you thought it was something worth saving up for for a few years. Happy to chat in DM if you ever needed it as I know it can be a very lonely place.
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Tommo1993
Well-Known Member
Yeah, 30 and 27. Old man always reminding me I came along when he was nearly 37, and there’s time. I’m sure you know how it feels when people just say “It’ll happen”, almost in a dismissive way sometimes too.
Cheers mate, I’ll bear that in mind.
jimmyhillsfanclub
Well-Known Member
Great thread. Great forum.
I've shared some dark times on similar threads to this over the years....but I'm currently doing good so just wish you all well.
... I still consume copius amounts of purple mimosa and am a high-functioning alcoholic....but that stopped being a battle years ago... its just a given nowadays.
If you're very very lucky... you get about 30000 days to live.... make sure you try to live every single one of them.
Tune in, skin up, bins out.
I've shared some dark times on similar threads to this over the years....but I'm currently doing good so just wish you all well.
... I still consume copius amounts of purple mimosa and am a high-functioning alcoholic....but that stopped being a battle years ago... its just a given nowadays.
If you're very very lucky... you get about 30000 days to live.... make sure you try to live every single one of them.
Tune in, skin up, bins out.
TomRad85
Well-Known Member
Still young mate, defo plenty of years left on the clock.
Some of the stuff people say is infuriating, "it'll happen" is among the worst.
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Sbarcher
Well-Known Member
I was in a bad place some years ago, on my own and eating takeaways and drinking too much. Decided to throw myself into work and went to the gym every night to fill in time. Started to cook and eat healthy stuff and almost cut out the booze. It gave me a different outlook. Changed jobs which took me all over Europe making new friends and contacts. Was offered jobs in USA and Australia but thought I was too old for such a major change.
Met a lady and got married and all seemed too good to be true. Of course it was, we lost her daughter and that changed everything again. Something we will never get over, but you need to go on for the rest of the family.
Retired now filling in my time with football, fishing and walking the dog.
I guess the moral is life can be shit, but it can get worse before it gets better. Whatever place you are in is you starting point to make your next move.
I always remember what an old boss told me when he had a major problem with work - "What's the worst they can do? They can't take you outside and shoot you"
Met a lady and got married and all seemed too good to be true. Of course it was, we lost her daughter and that changed everything again. Something we will never get over, but you need to go on for the rest of the family.
Retired now filling in my time with football, fishing and walking the dog.
I guess the moral is life can be shit, but it can get worse before it gets better. Whatever place you are in is you starting point to make your next move.
I always remember what an old boss told me when he had a major problem with work - "What's the worst they can do? They can't take you outside and shoot you"
Grendel
Well-Known Member
I was with a great friend of mine recently who used to work with me when I worked in the north west
I said to her I never really drank much when we worked together in the early 2000’s did I
She pissed herself laughing and reminded me of the occasion when I had to do a meeting of retailers in some hotel near Wilmslow for two days . Me and my team went out the night before. I couldn’t be bothered to get out of my suit. At 6 in the morning I woke in the shower still in my suit. Big crises meeting at 8 in the morning. One runner is sent to get me another suit and another to get mine dry cleaned before I got home.
Brighton Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
After my paternal grandmother died in 1997 the family found a collection of poetry and an autobiography she had written but never shared. Towards the end she’d written something to the effect of illness being the only thing in life you might not be able to overcome. I think that’s pretty true for the most part.
Essexrobbie
Well-Known Member
Been absolutely depressed all day, so much so I had to go and sleep it off in the afternoon. It wasn't necessarily the result but the manner of the defeat and the attitude. The lack of movement was school boy stuff. Wrights lack of energy... we are used to Vik harassing and closing down defenders and using strength to win the ball. Apart from one turn where he was fouled i saw nothing of that or any desire to cement his place in the side ahead of Simms. But its the lack of penetration. They are obviously told to keep possession at all costs, but possession doesn't win football matches, taking a risk and using imagination does. All devoid in abundance. bugger im depressed again now. 
Otis
Well-Known Member
It is a good thread.
I have still got down at times, but always look back to the early 1990's when I was down on my knees and at such a low ebb and anything now always seems so much better than ever was back then.
Back then I lived alone, had a most awful boss and a house that was falling down all around me. I lived with no heating, damp and mould, no hot water, the floor in the lounge and kitchen had almost totally collapsed and I had to walk on the beams. I also had no money at all. I literally had £1.27 to last me for food for a whole week at one point.
I ended up off sick for a whole year. Now any down times don't seem half as bad.
Divorce was tough and my ex wife got everything, but it's good to be free from all that and am looking for a fresh start now by the sea.
I have still got down at times, but always look back to the early 1990's when I was down on my knees and at such a low ebb and anything now always seems so much better than ever was back then.
Back then I lived alone, had a most awful boss and a house that was falling down all around me. I lived with no heating, damp and mould, no hot water, the floor in the lounge and kitchen had almost totally collapsed and I had to walk on the beams. I also had no money at all. I literally had £1.27 to last me for food for a whole week at one point.
I ended up off sick for a whole year. Now any down times don't seem half as bad.
Divorce was tough and my ex wife got everything, but it's good to be free from all that and am looking for a fresh start now by the sea.
Grendel
Well-Known Member
Been absolutely depressed all day, so much so I had to go and sleep it off in the afternoon. It wasn't necessarily the result but the manner of the defeat and the attitude. The lack of movement was school boy stuff. Wrights lack of energy... we are used to Vik harassing and closing down defenders and using strength to win the ball. Apart from one turn where he was fouled i saw nothing of that or any desire to cement his place in the side ahead of Simms. But its the lack of penetration. They are obviously told to keep possession at all costs, but possession doesn't win football matches, taking a risk and using imagination does. All devoid in abundance. bugger im depressed again now.
Never has football after games impacted me at all. Including the play off. Once it’s over I just switch off and move on.
jimmyhillsfanclub
Well-Known Member
Wise words.
Sick Boy
Super Moderator
Same, I have a really addictive personality but food is one thing that’s never been issue from that perspective.
Brighton Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
Consider yourself lucky is all I can say.
Otis
Well-Known Member
Always used to ruin my entire weekend if we lost. When I was a child, I would cry when we lost at times.
I remember us playing Newcastle in the FA cup in the early 70's and we drew at HR 1-1 and I listened to the away replay on the radio. We lost 5 nil and I cried myself to sleep and was inconsolable.
I am much better now about defeats but it took many years and still hurts a lot at times.
Would love to be able to switch off and move on, but it is better for me these days.
Otis
Well-Known Member
It's chocolate for me. That's what I turn to to cheer myself up. Any time I am down I too turn to food to make myself feel better.
Find it incredibly comforting, but know it's obviously very bad for me.
Flying Fokker
Well-Known Member
Erdinger Alcohol Free/ Guinness alcohol free. Both taste ok and pace yourself along with the group.
It was always minestrone soup for me.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Bit of a ramble;
Started Setraline last year when all the shit with my ex kicked off. Wasn’t sleeping, couldn’t focus at work. Told the GP I needed something to help me sleep, wasn’t until my GF picked up the prescription and asked why id been prescribed SSRIs I realised! Quality doctoring there.
Anyway, didn’t really touch the sides at first, just made me tired. Amped up to 100mg/day and everything was great, but too great, no focus, no drive, still tired. Productivity went through the floor and I lost my job. Work were understanding but also not a charity. Luckily ended up in a better job, was open about my situation and they’ve been great. Came down to 50mg and seemed in a good place. Then was stupid enough to try and come off cos I was feeling great and went fucking mental, lost a mate cos of shit I said whilst mental. Got back on the Sertaline and court case came to and end and am in a good place. Wish I could fucking cum regularly, but I guess you can’t have everything.
Not sure I’m where I want to be. Diet is fucked. Smoking and drug intake is fucked. But I’m productive at work, the intrusive thoughts have stopped (but will reappear if I miss a pill) and my penis is at about 40%.
Never wanted to be on SSRIs, now feel I can’t drop them. Need a bit of the unhappiness to drive me to get off my ass and make the healthy changes, but scared of losing what I’ve got.
Ain’t mental health shit?
Sorry for the ramble.
Started Setraline last year when all the shit with my ex kicked off. Wasn’t sleeping, couldn’t focus at work. Told the GP I needed something to help me sleep, wasn’t until my GF picked up the prescription and asked why id been prescribed SSRIs I realised! Quality doctoring there.
Anyway, didn’t really touch the sides at first, just made me tired. Amped up to 100mg/day and everything was great, but too great, no focus, no drive, still tired. Productivity went through the floor and I lost my job. Work were understanding but also not a charity. Luckily ended up in a better job, was open about my situation and they’ve been great. Came down to 50mg and seemed in a good place. Then was stupid enough to try and come off cos I was feeling great and went fucking mental, lost a mate cos of shit I said whilst mental. Got back on the Sertaline and court case came to and end and am in a good place. Wish I could fucking cum regularly, but I guess you can’t have everything.
Not sure I’m where I want to be. Diet is fucked. Smoking and drug intake is fucked. But I’m productive at work, the intrusive thoughts have stopped (but will reappear if I miss a pill) and my penis is at about 40%.
Never wanted to be on SSRIs, now feel I can’t drop them. Need a bit of the unhappiness to drive me to get off my ass and make the healthy changes, but scared of losing what I’ve got.
Ain’t mental health shit?
Sorry for the ramble.
Otis
Well-Known Member
That'd be fine for me, as long as it had chocolate in it.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Got a good mate who did everything. IVF, all the tests. Everything. They had given up and were halfway through the adoption application process when they fell pregnant.
Now he’s a bit of a conspiracy nut, so truck of salt here, but he swears that his missus stopped taking folic acid and that’s what did it. Apparently for a certain percentage of women it has the opposite effect. He mentioned someone who has helped his missus and a few others. I’ll see if I can get a name next time I see him.
Anyway, point being: keep trying, you never know. I know a girl with four kids who was told at 15 she’d never be able to get pregnant.
TomRad85
Well-Known Member
Fertility issues are very complicated, everyones story seems to be different. Ours was that we couldn't get pregnant at all despite there being no obvious reason. We had IVF, had our son and for some reason since then can't stop getting pregnant but can't keep it. We've decided we can't keep going through this so we're ready to give IVF one more go (make sure the embryos are strong) and see what happens.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
So many variables and, like a lot of women’s medicine, not particularly well understood compared to other areas. Good luck man.
Tommo1993
Well-Known Member
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was ween myself off Setraline. I used to always go back to it as like a shoulder to cry on. In the end it just took sheer willpower to just battle through things naturally. How I was put on them in the first place is a long story and probably the lowest point of my life.
Good luck to you. One way or the other you’ll find your way out.
Ccfcisparks
Well-Known Member
Very similar to me. Very fortunate to have been able to come off them completely, I don't think you realise how powerful they are until you try coming off them.
Greggs
Well-Known Member
Try to avoid those afternoon naps mate, plays funny with your brain. Hope you're a bit better today?Been absolutely depressed all day, so much so I had to go and sleep it off in the afternoon. It wasn't necessarily the result but the manner of the defeat and the attitude. The lack of movement was school boy stuff. Wrights lack of energy... we are used to Vik harassing and closing down defenders and using strength to win the ball. Apart from one turn where he was fouled i saw nothing of that or any desire to cement his place in the side ahead of Simms. But its the lack of penetration. They are obviously told to keep possession at all costs, but possession doesn't win football matches, taking a risk and using imagination does. All devoid in abundance. bugger im depressed again now.
Sunshine is out
Greggs
Well-Known Member
The Mrs is on the edge at the minute, considering medication. I'm trying my hardest to help her find more natural remedies or change of lifestyle. Those things scare me
Ccfcisparks
Well-Known Member
I would do all you can to avoid it mate. I think its a very easy fix for a doctor to put someone on medication. The first few weeks are terrible too and really spike your anxiety. Long term they dull both ends of the emotional scale. Has she considered therapy, like Grendel said I found it therapeutic talking about myself.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Diet sleep and exercise. If you’ve not got those three well in hand don’t even think about drugs would be my advice. And I’m fairly certain sertrsline helped me at my lowest.
Otis
Well-Known Member
I am indeed. Thanks.Try to avoid those afternoon naps mate, plays funny with your brain. Hope you're a bit better today?
Sunshine is out
OffenhamSkyBlue
Well-Known Member
To you guys who are going through your issues with infertility and miscarriage, i so feel for you.
My first wife and I had "unexplained fertility" (they didn't know WTF was wrong, in other words). Went through the timed cycles, and a go at IUI which was ectopic. We both said that the positive pregnancy test was the happiest day of our married life, so was a bit shit when it went tits-up. Had a couple of IVF cycles after that, but ran out of money and stamina, frankly.
Considered adoption, but it seemed so unfair that there were so many people around who were clearly unfit parents while we had to practically get MI5 clearance to even think about adopting, so we jacked it in.
Needless to say, this all took its toll - i am a fairly happy-go-lucky, que sera sera sort of person so was able to let it go and move on. She wasn't, and it ground us down.
My advice would be to work hard at learning to love each other just as you are, without children. Much easier said than done, but if you don't get past the resentment and sex solely as a mechanism to reproduce, there will always be trouble ahead.
I met someone in my early 40s who i truly know is my soulmate and best friend - far more suited than my ex, who i met fairly young, when i barely knew who i was - and we are devoted to each other, so that I wonder now why i ever wanted kids.
Everyone is different, and i hope it all works out the way you want.
My first wife and I had "unexplained fertility" (they didn't know WTF was wrong, in other words). Went through the timed cycles, and a go at IUI which was ectopic. We both said that the positive pregnancy test was the happiest day of our married life, so was a bit shit when it went tits-up. Had a couple of IVF cycles after that, but ran out of money and stamina, frankly.
Considered adoption, but it seemed so unfair that there were so many people around who were clearly unfit parents while we had to practically get MI5 clearance to even think about adopting, so we jacked it in.
Needless to say, this all took its toll - i am a fairly happy-go-lucky, que sera sera sort of person so was able to let it go and move on. She wasn't, and it ground us down.
My advice would be to work hard at learning to love each other just as you are, without children. Much easier said than done, but if you don't get past the resentment and sex solely as a mechanism to reproduce, there will always be trouble ahead.
I met someone in my early 40s who i truly know is my soulmate and best friend - far more suited than my ex, who i met fairly young, when i barely knew who i was - and we are devoted to each other, so that I wonder now why i ever wanted kids.
Everyone is different, and i hope it all works out the way you want.
Terry_dactyl
Well-Known Member
Yes. The CBT way I believe. And Routines! Routines! Routines! I think are the key to supporting your diet, sleep, exercise…set bed times, meal times, exercise/going out times.
It’s a fucker, cos if you’re feeling low the last thing you want to do is ‘stuff’ but I think slowly but surely it can help.
Cracking thread @Greggs theres a lot here that I can relate to but not brave enough to share.
clint van damme
Well-Known Member
From my limited experience of talking to those around me they can pull you out of a hole but you need an exit strategy as they're not good for you long term. Others experience may be different.
There's a lot of great podcasts out there now about dealing with mental health issues.