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Can't recall who it was but on another thread suggested that anybody considering going to Wembley via coach was insane. I don't think the option of train travel is looking like the last bastion of a sound mind.

To be fair, most of us once knew a bloke from Malta and were also guilty of occasionally 'talking' loud about him.

No travel will be hassle free. I'm already imagining our coach 'breaking down' just the other side of Rugby - Mate has hired a firm from Wolverhampton. Not joking.

Yeah but not monetarily.

Agghh! For christ sakes, pass the bucket.

I beg to differ - But there is absolutely zero fucking 'inconvenience' when it's been fucking 37 years since we've been in this position. Anybody else having their ticket delivered to their door via a fucking silver platter?

Don't spend a single penny once you're inside the stadium then. Oh and bring your own coke ;)

Well, they can't even get the nation's flag right. What do you expect?

They'll have 6 points deducted start of May and then have 9 points reimbursed the following week. You know how this shit works, people!

That's OK - Haven't been doing BBC (license fee) for a couple of years now any way.

Everything will be OK as long as a rainbow version of the royal standard is hoisted (three qtr mast) at Buck house.

That's a cross we'll all have to bear.

We did championship fox hunting in January and it was great.

Crikey, not only is it unfeasibly long but none of it rhymes. Just for the record, what tune should we be attempting it to?

In the style of a generic C&W tune. In fact I've dedicated this to you, Otis - It's called 'A fistful of train tickets'. 'Like a tumbleweed blowing across a desert road - that kid was just doin what he'd been 'toad' (black country vernacular) 'You're better than what we thought you'd be, you got...

To the tune of 'Sloop John.B', by The Beach Boys: 'Well he's not one to boast, but he saved Fergie the m - o - o - ost, and if you're a ball boy, he'll 'ave you on toast'.

Drug debt? Utility/Council debt final reminder? Half Man Half Biscuit at The Empire (Friday 12th April) ticket yet to be secured?

Uh - Those bloody tiles.

I HAD forgotten about that.

BOOOOO! I've got seven mates who 'support' United and offers for my second ticket are already 475 quid.