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Just the ticket! Are you in? Sparkling conversation guaranteed, but I think antidiarrhoeals would be the order of the day; it would be a shame to shit yourself before getting in to position. A firmer stool would also produce a much more satisfying aural experience. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using...

Come join us, we're always looking for new members. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Excellent hand warmer on a cold day. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Good point. From that height there would be quite a plop. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

If I could, I'd give you lots of likes for this. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Let it all out. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Fraught with danger, I'm afraid. The chances of the branch breaking would lead to involuntary sphincter tightening and the bomb doors jammed shut. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Big gnat. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Was there a stipulation to shit directly in to the canal? If not, then it would be far easier to lay a log in the comfort of your own home (or someone else's, for a laugh), transport it incognito, and roll it in off the towpath. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Despite what Clint van D says, that snippet certainly wasn't penned by me. Autobiographical perhaps? As an aside, I'd guess there must have been aggravating circumstances to justify a custodial. Serial canal-shitter? Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

I should have asked before, but what's the attraction of shitting in a canal? Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Too much, I think. Such that I wouldn't be able to relax my sphincter sufficiently. A solo effort, involving ropes and an abseiling technique would do the trick. Job done. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

[emoji33] Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Can't fault your logic. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Which is far easier to do sitting on the throne. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Even better, I'm shooting a video, and all will become clear (unlike your ring-piece if you're standing up). Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Standing up to wipe your arse?!? What the flying fuck! Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Would be an interesting trial. We have a head height rule playing five a side, v which effectively rules out heading. It's a much better game. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Heading ten bags of coal. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

If there's one thing I've never needed an accomplice for, it's shitting. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk