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If he had three legs he’d be faster too

You’ve been off the mark lately but I agree with this. I thought he had a really good game. Very strong with the ball.

Usual strong turnout from Portsmouth fans. At least they got a great view of the goal

Here’s another one

If he never plays again he’ll die a happy man

Might be a better strategy

Don’t ever become a motivational speaker. Let’s just give up now.

Is your Nan busy tomorrow?

“Playing him on” is not debatable as he was blocking a shot on goal

He was bad but not that bad

They beat us with one player?

It was “who’s your father”

At least we were already one up

I can’t put it any simpler. He was dealing with it until Collins crashed the party. Watch some of the play around our own box on Wed and each time a defender has the ball just imagine him smashing it out of play. A stadium full of fans would be groaning while you cheer.

Just when I thought I’d tried everything

I know our last booze cruise was a disaster but if we try again maybe we could adopt a new fan.

I didn’t see a list of attendees but can anyone make a team from whoever was there?

The actual law states that “Each team consists of a maximum eleven players ( (excluding substitutes), one of whom must be a goalkeeper” It goes on to state “Goalkeepers” ( note the plural) “are the only players” (plural again) “allowed to use their hands or arms” “One of whom must be a...

The ref has been named for the Derby v Burnley game on Tuesday It will be Josh Brownhill

Here’s a guy that knows how to deal with seagulls