Am I in the wrong (2 Viewers)

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

So long story short
The wife wants new Windows do I've basically been on a combination of nightshifts and overtime for the last few weeks in order to save a few quid

Last week I did an early and 5 nightshifts
Today was my first clear day off j. Ages
Tomorrow I'm doing a 15 hour day then earlys Thursday and Friday and back on nights Saturday Sunday Monday
So I said I was going out for a few beers this evening
She said she needs my cash card so I gave it her and ended up going to the pub with £12

It's like she gets in s huff about me having a couple of beers

To be fair it's not as if get family don't go the pub they are all borderline alkies

 

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[wingy]

So long story short
The wife wants new Windows do I've basically been on a combination of nightshifts and overtime for the last few weeks in order to save a few quid

Last week I did an early and 5 nightshifts
Today was my first clear day off j. Ages
Tomorrow I'm doing a 15 hour day then earlys Thursday and Friday and back on nights Saturday Sunday Monday
So I said I was going out for a few beers this evening
She said she needs my cash card so I gave it her and ended up going to the pub with £12

It's like she gets in s huff about me having a couple of beers

To be fair it's not as if get family don't go the pub they are all borderline alkies

The last bits a bit rambled daz
But she's out of order.

 

[covmark]

No you're not in the wrong Daz, put your foot down, man up and stop being pussy whipped.....



Who am I kidding. Yep it's all your fault and you should apologise immediately. Or you'll be ignored for 3 days.

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[Philosoraptor]

Where to start with this one...

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

The last bits a bit rambled daz
But she's out of order.

I meant to say it's not as if her family don't go to the pub
They've kept certain pubs round coundon going for years

 

[stupot07]

No you're not in the wrong. Its bang out of order if you ask me....

...its difficult though, as covmarks right, its always the aftermath and 3-4 days of passive aggressiveness that really gets you down. I hate it when the missus has the hump with me, I'd rather have a full blown argument and get it out the way.



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[Sky_Blue_Daz]

£12 to go the pub
I'd have been better off playing the game and getting a case of carling from booze busters

 

[lifeskyblue]

You've worked really hard ...you need and deserve time to relax with mates and a few beers. Talk to her about it and explain your needs. You are pulling your weight what is she doing?


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[Philosoraptor]

Are the windows which she is after rose tinted...

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

Yeah I can't be arsed with a long drawn out row
It will play on my mind all day tomorrow

I'll give in soon
Cheers lads
There's a few beers in the fridge
And there's worse off then me

 

[Nick]

Daz, get your clown outfit on and go for a jog! Take your mind off it

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

Are the windows which she is after rose tinted...

They'll be fookin smashed at some point

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

You've worked really hard ...you need and deserve time to relax with mates and a few beers. Talk to her about it and explain your needs. You are pulling your weight what is she doing?
To be fair she's s nurse at walsgarve and she does 12 hour nights
Maybe we are both over tired

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[Johnnythespider]

You need a secret stash, then when she gives you a tenner for the pub and you come in rat arsed it will do her nut in.

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[Sky_Blue_Daz]

Lifeskyblue She's a nurse at walsgarve and does 12 hour nights
Maybe we are both tired

 

[lifeskyblue]

Fair enough. Yes you are probably botha little tired and stressed. Share the beers and have an early night.


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[footyfrenzy]

Going to play devil's advocate here and say that if you have been spending all that time at work then perhaps she might want to spend some quality time with you

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

Going to play devil's advocate here and say that if you have been spending all that time at work then perhaps she might want to spend some quality time with you

Yes agreed but I've suggested nights out and going out to restaurants and cinemas all she wants to do is save for the Windows and stay in

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

Just offered her a beer and she's given me the rubber ear
She can fuck off for tonight

 

[martcov]

So long story short
The wife wants new Windows do I've basically been on a combination of nightshifts and overtime for the last few weeks in order to save a few quid

Last week I did an early and 5 nightshifts
Today was my first clear day off j. Ages
Tomorrow I'm doing a 15 hour day then earlys Thursday and Friday and back on nights Saturday Sunday Monday
So I said I was going out for a few beers this evening
She said she needs my cash card so I gave it her and ended up going to the pub with £12

It's like she gets in s huff about me having a couple of beers

To be fair it's not as if get family don't go the pub they are all borderline alkies

The start of this reminded me of an o level maths question. I was going for 3,6 pints and 2 nights off as the answer.

 

[Sky_Blue_Daz]

The start of this reminded me of an o level maths question. I was going for 3,6 pints and 2 nights off as the answer.

That's not nearly enough nights off

 

[Ranjit Bhurpa]

Put your foot down with a firm hand Daz. I always have the last words in our house......"yes dear"

 

[Sick Boy]

Lifeskyblue She's a nurse at walsgarve and does 12 hour nights
Maybe we are both tired

My girlfriend is a midwife and we are both pretty firey, we have these sorts of arguments every now and then and most of the time it is down to her being tired and me being proud.

Working the shifts in a hospital can't be a lot of fun and she deserves to be able to go off on one every now and then.

I don't think you were in the wrong but you know how these things can be.

 

[Gazolba]

The fact that you are posting a message on here instead of talking to your wife about it means your marriage is in trouble.

 

[skybluedan]

Create a counter worry for her, like you are thinking of starting to take drugs Bet she fills the fridge with beer

 

[skybluedan]

Hold on a minute she had your cash card pal? Did she need it really? Or wanted it so you would not spend more at the boozer?

 

[smouch1975]

1. All work and no play
..
2. Don't mention her family as a defence

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[Pipehitterz]

Life

 

[mrtrench]

She probably is tired Daz; and focused on the goal. LifeSkyBlue is right - the empathy; understanding and sharing approach is probably the best one. Angry confrontation is almost certainly not. All work and no play...

PS: Wish I was so wise when my wife and I get into conflict.

 

[Otis]

It is a tough one, Daz.

I just think you have to go down the angle of talking to her about just how hard you have worked and how much better just one night out like this will make you feel. How important it is to your well-being. How much happier it will make you.

Just say you will try not to spend too much, but you need this, that it is a release valve and you need to go out every once in a while.

Tell her you are being honest with her and had the decency to approach her about it rather than just do it.


Alternatively of course, you could just do it anyway.

 

[eastwoodsdustman]

Daz, You'll always be in the wrong even when you're not. Just wait til she's on the change!
If it helps any I have been moaned at this morning by mine. I paid for some Charlton tickets from my own bank for my son and his mates yesterday and he came home from school with the cash and left it on the side for me. I picked it up this morning and went to work as usual. Got a phone call about 20 minutes into my journey from my other half moaning that I'd picked up MY money off the side as she was going out today and wanted to use it. I had 'You knew I was going out, Why did you pick up the money'? Blah Blah Blah. I told her that unfortunately my psychic powers weren't at full speed this morning otherwise I'd have known to leave the money for her! They're all the same.

 

[Otis]

My wife is always telling me off for spending my money.

I just give her the evil eye.

 

[Malaka]

That is women for you.
You think you have it bad?
I have been with my wife for fourteen years. I grew up in Willenhall and I have quite a checkered past. However due to my profession I tend to steer away from my old friends as I have to keep a low profile. Due to that fact, I get quite lonely and most of my friends are her friends and very middle class. I have nothing in common with these people.
I met up with a load of them at a funeral lately and we decided that we would meet up in the Glade for old times sake. Told the Mrs I was going out and meeting my old friends and she laughed it off as I had not been out with my friends since we met (as she would not be impressed if she met them). A couple of days later Mrs Malaka said 'Sarah had Tony have invited us around for dinner Saturday night and I said why? I told you I was going to the Glade, you will have to cancel.
Went out on the Saturday night and did a bottle of Jack (and other things). I was getting phone calls from 12.30 up until I fell through the door at 5.30. I had been out once in fourteen years without her and it was like the end of the world tears, threats of divorce etc. I said this is the first time I have been me in years, remembering shit that we did but forgotten. Not being or acting like something I am not. I'm sorry that you are sad, I didn't want to make you sad but I ain't sorry that I went out and had a fucking great night out. Well there was talk of divorce etc, her friends told her that she was being unreasonable.
I go and visit them occasionally now with no grief. But I don't rock up at half five in the morning to be fair.

 

[Covstu]

Glad I am not the only one who gets the cold shoulder. I don't really go to the pub but on occasions I want to go out I get this treatment too!

 

[olderskyblue]

My wife is always telling me off for spending my money.

I just give her the evil eye.

When her backs turned??