this is hard to write,
i'm glad I've came across this topic today.
Saturday just gone my wife of 10 years came out with the news that she is leaving me.to be totally honest it didn't come as total shock.
Something that we haven't done over the years is talk, i'd always keep my feelings/anger inside and not mention it to anyone but let it out by playing rugby and she would do the same but choose to go town with her mates and get rat arsed.
but since Saturday we have talked a lot about the wrong doings during our time together (not talking to each other about problems etc) and its struck me that maybe I am depressed and haven't dealt well with things that have happened to me in the past and its effected our relationship.
I have had a couple of days off work since then only going back to work today and I have thought about me and what I have become as a person and I don't really like the answer, I don't like who I am.
Sorry that this post is quite a ramble
10 years ago now was a real low point that ended me up in a residential adolescent mental health unit for 6 months - won’t delve too deeply, I’d be writing for ages.
But anxiety, which played a pretty big part in it, still on the occasion haunts me - you know certain scenarios, smells, foods, songs, even confrontational behaviour, and I feel close to a meltdown. And those are just a few examples.
The hardest thing which people can do, like you’ve done, is open up about it. For me, the second hardest was weening myself off the medication. So so difficult.
Edit: on a side note, talking about the autism thing. When I got discharged, my parents told me that the consultants suggested I could have Aspergers. Sometimes I think doctors think that we’re all on the spectrum somewhere!
perhaps this thread should make us all think a little bit before we wade in over various football and non football related issues.
Behind that avatar is a real person who maybe going thought some personal shit.
While I was seeing the psychologist after about six sessions she said out of the blue she thought my partner was not suitable for me. She had come to one of the sessions as it was part of the therapy.this is hard to write,
i'm glad I've came across this topic today.
Saturday just gone my wife of 10 years came out with the news that she is leaving me.to be totally honest it didn't come as total shock.
Something that we haven't done over the years is talk, i'd always keep my feelings/anger inside and not mention it to anyone but let it out by playing rugby and she would do the same but choose to go town with her mates and get rat arsed.
but since Saturday we have talked a lot about the wrong doings during our time together (not talking to each other about problems etc) and its struck me that maybe I am depressed and haven't dealt well with things that have happened to me in the past and its effected our relationship.
I have had a couple of days off work since then only going back to work today and I have thought about me and what I have become as a person and I don't really like the answer, I don't like who I am.
Sorry that this post is quite a ramble
As you say smells, sounds and certain scenarios can trigger anxiety and seem completely irrational at the time. Never noticed smells as a trigger myself but can certainly relate to noise and certain scenarios. You’ve clearly experienced it far worse than myself as you seem to have far more triggers than myself and you’ve had to go down the medication route, something I luckily managed to avoid completely. Good luck with it.
My mental health is all over the place at the minute, some days I'm as happy as anything and other days I seriously think about just ending it.
I would say that my biggest problem is that I some how never seem to fit in, where ever I go or what ever I do, even as a kid I had these same issues. I can't keep a relationship going for longer then about 6 months, even when I see it coming a mile off, the rejection still hurts like fuck and lasts for months after, I get too attached to having someone in my life that I really struggle to let them go. I have friends but I don't have anyone I can share problems with or someone who will be there no matter what, even though I have gave that in return. The past few months I've made a good effort to try and make new friends, which I have, but it seems to be just more of the same.
Turned to drink and drugs lately, having sex with random women, eating poorly, not doing any training at all. Been put on sick leave from work, I haven't been to work in months and I have until September off at the very earliest, If I have stuff planned for a day, I'm fine, if not, i'm climbing up the walls by mid day, and just tend to think about life and ex's, try to figure out where it went wrong, stalk them on Facebook for a bit and then I just end up in an even worse place.
I've done really well for myself in life, but it feels like whats the point if I have no one to share it with, I would trade it all in to meet someone. It's true what they say, Money can't buy happiness.
Even then they don't necessarily. Everyone is different.imho, both you guys should look to professional help. Friends are great as friends, but really, they will never understand what you're going through unless they've experienced it themselves.
imho, both you guys should look to professional help. Friends are great as friends, but really, they will never understand what you're going through unless they've experienced it themselves.
I'm as laid back as they come. Never had any issues with mental health and always thought it was for the weak minded. Until a few years ago.
Two people who were very close to me died within a year of each other, both from cancer and it ate them up and turned them into husks and then they died. No battles, no hope, just vicious horrible terminal cancer.
I was angry for a while and then I just returned to normal life and everything was normal until I started to get numbness in my face and heart palpitations that led to panic attacks. At the time I thought my heart was fucked. I had all the tests done and the doctor said I was as healthy as a trout but that I had anxiety.
I told him that I was never an anxious person, that I was always joking and messing around. He pointed to my leg which was going up and down like the clappers.
Whatever grief I went through was physically manifesting itself months later as anxiety and looking back on it, I was a wreck who dealt with grief with alcohol, drugs, a bit of gambling or whatever took my mind off it.
I'm pretty much back to normal now. I never took medication or got counselling because I didn't think I was that far gone. I'll occasionally feel a bit strange in supermarkets for some reason. I've read that closed off big spaces can trigger anxiety.
I'm as laid back as they come. Never had any issues with mental health and always thought it was for the weak minded. Until a few years ago.
Two people who were very close to me died within a year of each other, both from cancer and it ate them up and turned them into husks and then they died. No battles, no hope, just vicious horrible terminal cancer.
I was angry for a while and then I just returned to normal life and everything was normal until I started to get numbness in my face and heart palpitations that led to panic attacks. At the time I thought my heart was fucked. I had all the tests done and the doctor said I was as healthy as a trout but that I had anxiety.
I told him that I was never an anxious person, that I was always joking and messing around. He pointed to my leg which was going up and down like the clappers.
Whatever grief I went through was physically manifesting itself months later as anxiety and looking back on it, I was a wreck who dealt with grief with alcohol, drugs, a bit of gambling or whatever took my mind off it.
I'm pretty much back to normal now. I never took medication or got counselling because I didn't think I was that far gone. I'll occasionally feel a bit strange in supermarkets for some reason. I've read that closed off big spaces can trigger anxiety.
How much exercise is everybody doing as well? Obviously not a cure but it does help.
I agree Nick. A good work out can make you feel loads better. Sadly, I'm past that era of my life, but great advice for anyone that is capable.How much exercise is everybody doing as well? Obviously not a cure but it does help.
How much exercise is everybody doing as well? Obviously not a cure but it does help.
Had the restless legs too. Still do and probably always have. The first time I ever got hit by a big burst of anxiety was in toys R us. Just hit me out the blue where I had the feeling that I just needed to get out of there for no logical reason and could feel the anxiety building until I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Didn’t understand what it was at the time which just made the anxiety worse.
Marty, getting specialist help takes time so if I was you I'd visit your doctor asap and ask him to put you down for referral to a specialist.
My daughter luckily had a great doctor who listened to her then got an appointment with a specialist who listened then made a diagnosis but it took more than a year for this process, though Norfolk does have the worst, and biggest waiting list ,mental health service in the UK.
My advice is get an urgent appt with doctor tomorrow, they always have slots at the end of each day for things like this, and get that ball rolling.
That feeling that I needed to flee wherever I was freaked me out too. The lightheadedness combined with heart palpitations really does fuck with your head. It physically feels like death is approaching.
I've only ever had three proper panic attacks. All before I knew It was anxiety. One was in a bar, I ended up walking around town with my friend for hours because whenever I stopped walking I thought I was going to die.
Think it depends on the context really.How do we feel when knobheads joke about depression and the like? Or they’re just a bit blue but claim to be chronically depressed?
How do we feel when knobheads joke about depression and the like? Or they’re just a bit blue but claim to be chronically depressed?
Think it depends on the context really.
How do we feel when knobheads joke about depression and the like? Or they’re just a bit blue but claim to be chronically depressed?
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