fellatio_Martinez
Well-Known Member
Yep it's a numbers game. One woman could have a million reasons to reject you but the next woman will have completely different tastes.
Are you happy (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter We'll_live_and_die
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Yep it's a numbers game. One woman could have a million reasons to reject you but the next woman will have completely different tastes.
hill83
Well-Known Member
I always just talk to women like they are normal people. Madness I know. Never had any problems. Plus never really worried about it, if it’s not a goer with someone it’s not a goer.
Just fired up the headspace app again yesterday as there was an offer on. £50 for the year. Already feeling better for it, not that I was feeling bad but I was settling into the beginning of a few bad habits again. Arguing on here being one of them.
Just fired up the headspace app again yesterday as there was an offer on. £50 for the year. Already feeling better for it, not that I was feeling bad but I was settling into the beginning of a few bad habits again. Arguing on here being one of them.
Nick
Administrator
I had a trial and used it for the sleep sounds but couldn't get into the other stuff
hill83
Well-Known Member
I had a trial and used it for the sleep sounds but couldn't get into the other stuff
I was sceptical at first but the managing anxiety one is a decent place to start.
hill83
Well-Known Member
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
With all due respect, you’re quite a good looking guy (no homo), so you wouldn’t have developed the fear. I remember when I was younger getting rejected a couple of times in particularly nasty ways and swearing off even trying for years. You get to a point where you spend so much time in your head it’s hard to just approach because you’re not practiced in it. It’s the difference between going one down this season after all our comebacks and doing it under Russel Slade. Step one is desensitising yourself to women so you can just treat them like everyone else.
I couldn’t get into it the first time. Might give it another go. Been particularly down recently for no obvious reason and need to break out of the spiral. CBT is great for specific thoughts, general feeling like shit for no good reason it seems not so much. :/
hill83
Well-Known Member
Yeah it’s there of course but I just never really worried about it or over thought things. I’ve been rejected way more than not in the past. I do get it if it’s never happened for someone how it can build up to quite a big thing though.
I meant I just talk normally to people. Men and women and that’s it. Nights out on the beer are different as it’s known what the end game is if you get chatting but in normal life people can over think it too much.
fellatio_Martinez
Well-Known Member
How is your diet and exercise at the moment? I felt anxiety creeping in again recently but since I've cut the calories and ran a bit I feel a lot better.
It's a vicious cycle for men who are quiet and awkward around women because they come off as creepy which puts women off and further cements the man's viewpoint that women are stand offish and unapproachable.
I wish I could tell my 17 year old self this.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
fellatio_Martinez
Well-Known Member
That sums me up for the last 4-5 months. Shits harder to kick than crack.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
I mean you say talk normally which is fine, I’ve always been fairly good at having female friendships so that’s not such a problem.
But a romantic relationship isn’t a normal relationship is it, it can start the same but you can’t treat a woman you are interested in exactly the same as the rest of your mates forever.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Really down today. Finance problems trying to keep this house going on my own so my daughter can get into Finham, seems my ex has convinced her she doesn’t want to go to Finham with her mates she wants to go to Nicholas Chaimberline in Bedworth where she’s moved to. Has told her it’s a better school and she can avoid all the bullies by going there. She’s going to get eaten alive. Feel like there’s a countdown clock to September when we apply for secondaries where I’m just burning cash in the hope she’ll pick Finham when everyone bar me knows it’s not happening. Then I can either move to Bedworth and have a massive commute to work and live in a shithole and not buy my parents house as id planned. Or not see my kids. Wish I’d never got married. Feel like it’d all be easier if I wasn’t in the picture. Life is fucked beyond repair and I’m sick of struggling TBH. Just want it all over with. City are the only thing going well at the moment.
Not looking for sympathy. Just had to get it out there.
Not looking for sympathy. Just had to get it out there.
Nick
Administrator
Not sure why she would want Nico over finham park?
If push comes to shove, Bedworth isn't that far from finham or coventry. Nothing stopping you seeing the kids.
Aren't there any cheaper options in the same area to down grade?
I know it's easy to say from the outside but whatever the ex chooses to do, you will get through it.
clint van damme
Well-Known Member
You'll come through it and I'm sure your daughter will be fine wherever she goes.
If you're worried about bullying why not try and take her to a martial arts class that gives specific anti bullying advice.
My kids went one and it was really useful. Did some anti abduction stuff as well.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Im in quite a cheap house for where I am. It’s just doing it on one income is killing me.
At the moment we have a 50/50 split cos I can drop the kids to school on my days and my Mum who lives in Earlsdon can pick them up. But if I were dropping them in Bedworth I couldn’t get to Warwick in time for work and it’s a massive trip for my Mum so if she goes there I’d have to give up the 50:50 and see them every other weekend. Which is something I swore I’d never do.
My ex is very charismatic and convincing, part of the reason I stayed for so long, so she’s spun her this story about how if she goes to a school no one knows her at all her current friendship problems will disappear.
The only thing I can think in the short term is move my girlfriend in which she wants but I don’t feel like I do. But it’d massively help with the finances. However she signed a six month lease last month (when we had this convo) so not sure that’s possible.
Part of me just wants to move back in with Mum and Dad, get my finances sorted and go from there but my Mum could make the happiest person on Earth depressed and Od worry for my mental health plus the kids couldn’t be there or my missus really.
I dunno. Just all seems shit. I had this vision of my girls going to a good school and growing up in south Cov like I did in my family home and I don’t think that’s going to happen. I just don’t know where to go from here. Maybe it’s just my expectations.
Divorce is shit.
Nick
Administrator
Surely if you are dropping them off and your mum is picking them up then that has to be a massive factor?
Is your ex being particularly awkward? I mean give most parents the chance and they would pick finham over Nico for their kids.
Don't jump into moving somebody in as it might make it even messier.
Is your ex being particularly awkward? I mean give most parents the chance and they would pick finham over Nico for their kids.
Don't jump into moving somebody in as it might make it even messier.
Brighton Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
If your daughter got set on Chamberlaine couldn’t you lift her to catch the train over (or she could catch the 9 across)? The school is right next to Bedworth station if memory serves.
Nick
Administrator
Yeah it is, just down the road.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Interesting. Hadn’t thought of that. Will look into it. Thanks.
fellatio_Martinez
Well-Known Member
I don't have kids and I'm not married or divorced so I can't relate to your current issues but I know what it's like to feel like there's not much point in life.
Things will get better.
This too shall pass.
SkyBlueDom26
Well-Known Member
Chin up pal, i know we disagree on most things but Things will get better!
fellatio_Martinez
Well-Known Member
Is it a combination of worries regarding the virus or is there one aspect of it that's causing the worry?
hill83
Well-Known Member
Combination of all of it really. Everyone I try to talk to about is like WAYYYYY HERE’S A MEME
Plus if I’m honest I feel a bit guilty going to Cheltenham last Thursday. Shouldn’t have gone.
Nick
Administrator
To be fair, they are probably just trying to be light-hearted about it and cheer you up.
If you get yourself down about it then you will probably feel rough with it.
hill83
Well-Known Member
To be fair, they are probably just trying to be light-hearted about it and cheer you up.
Probably right
hill83
Well-Known Member
Nick
Administrator
Bring back that pool game
I will have a look for it now!
Brighton Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
Can empathise with that. All Easter plans we had, we’ve had to cancel and classes are full of naive students hoping for a week or more off which would create more work for me and less for them. One by one the stuff we enjoy got booted and we’re now just working our arses off to prepare for when schools are shut.
In the words of Joe Biden: come on man, give me a break.
fellatio_Martinez
Well-Known Member
This has all come so quickly that most people weren't really taking it seriously until a few days ago. I few of my friends went over to Dublin for the weekend and drank in a packed Temple Bar and now they realise it probably wasn't sensible.
It's just human nature to try to crack on and act as if nothing is wrong.
Try to not be so hard on yourself mucker.
fatso
Well-Known Member
A lot of negativity on this thread, come on guys, Chins up for fuck sake,
The virus will be gone in a couple of months, things will get back to normal, home life and ex wives will sort themselves out, and city will look forward to a new season in the championship!
If you think times are tough, imagine how villa fans must feel!
The virus will be gone in a couple of months, things will get back to normal, home life and ex wives will sort themselves out, and city will look forward to a new season in the championship!
If you think times are tough, imagine how villa fans must feel!