Cov Dog (1 Viewer)

[mark_ccfc]

A bloke walks into the Squirrel with his dog, there is a live Cov game on the TV.
He walks up to the bar and the Barman says "sorry sir, but there are no dogs allowed
in this bar". Undeterred the man says "I'm sure you wont mind this dog - he does
a trick every time he sees city doing something good."

The barman looks at him a little disbelieving and says, "Well I'm not sure but let's
see how it goes". The man gets a drink and sits down, the dog sits next to him watching
the match. The City embark on a promising attack and the dog starts doing backflips.
The barman looks on in amazement. Five minutes later another good move from the city
prompts the dog to start walking on his back legs in circles while barking.
This goes on for a while with the dog doing more and more amazing tricks as the game goes on.

Taken aback the barman says, "Wow, that's amazing, what does he do when the City score?"
"Well" answers the man "I don't know yet, I've only had him seven years".

 

---

[skybluedan]

I've heard better dog jokes like

 

[Samo]

WARNING! - This joke has been dehumorised :bored:

 

[matesx]

Well that's 30 seconds I'm not getting back

 

[Liquid Gold]

 

[baldy]

That really is one shit joke

 

[MAFF]

delete.

 

[_brian_]

Love it! LOL!!! As an aside, do you know what day this was? Would be interesting to know which game it was they were watching!

 

[skybluedan]

This bloke says to his Mrs right love my choice today and I'm gonna give you three options
Either me you and the DOG have a day out fishing ?
You give me the longest suck off you could do ?
Or let me smash your back doors in?
She's like no way I'm doing anal and there's Deffo no way I'm going out fishing all day with you and the DOG
Right I will give you a long blow, After sucking for a while she lifts her head and says I'm not being funny love but your dick really tastes like shit!! He says I know the DOG didn't want to go fishing either

 

[matesx]

That's better!

 

[robbiekeane]

Young couple with their young 3 year old kid and the kid is having a yoghurt and drops it on the floor. Kid goes "ohhhh shit"

The mum turns and glares at the dad and says "I wonder where he got that from?!?!?!"

The dad says "The fucking fridge you silly twat"

 

[Captain Dart]

A Coventry fan in his late teens is touring America, and winds up in a dark, dingy bar having a quite drink. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a native American sat in the corner; no-one is sat with the man, but there's a steady stream of people going over to have extremely short conversations with him, with the visitors always leaving wide-eyed and open mouthed.

The Coventry fan's curiosity gets the better of him, so he asks the bartender what it's all about. The bartender explains that the native American is renowned for having an infallible memory and excellent knowledge on pretty much any subject. The fan walks over and feeling pretty confident asks who scored Coventy's second goal in their FA Cup victory in 1987; the native American stares him straight in the eye, and gives an instantaneous response: "Keith Houchen".

The fan is stunned, and is unable to utter another word. He continues his travels, and on return to England all he can talk to people about is his encounter in the bar. His family and friends all humour him at first, but none of them believe him, and over time the man starts to doubt himself. He vows to save up and return to that bar, to prove to himself that he didn't imagine the whole thing.

Life gets in the way of this plan - mortgages, children, and so on - but some twenty-something years later he's finally able to make the trip again.

Walking into the same bar, he can't believe his luck as he sees that the native American is still sat at the same table, albeit with his heavy eyes weathered by the years that have passed. The Coventry fan decides that he should show his respect to the native American by giving him a traditional greeting. He walks over, raises the palm of his hand, and says "How". The elderly native American slowly raises his head, squints at the man through the gloom, before responding "Diving header from the edge of the six yard box".

 

[matesx]

not bad