Dementia (1 Viewer)

[Otis]

Heart goes out to you JHFC.

I am going to ask my parents if they will move in with us. I know the answer will be no though. I can sleep on the couch and my wife and daughter can share a room and they can have the other room. They are fiercely independent though, very much so. Completely set in their ways.

It's hard to know what to do. They are are both clearly struggling, my dad, physically and my mum mentally. No way would they go in a home, so it looks like I might just have to keep driving over every day.

Told them not to cook anything and stick to ready meals. Not ideal of course, but safety has to be paramount and I can see them setting fire to the place if they are not careful.

 

---

[clint van damme]

Heart goes out to you JHFC.

I am going to ask my parents if they will move in with us. I know the answer will be no though. I can sleep on the couch and my wife and daughter can share a room and they can have the other room. They are fiercely independent though, very much so. Completely set in their ways.

It's hard to know what to do. They are are both clearly struggling, my dad, physically and my mum mentally. No way would they go in a home, so it looks like I might just have to keep driving over every day.

Told them not to cook anything and stick to ready meals. Not ideal of course, but safety has to be paramount and I can see them setting fire to the place if they are not careful.

I think you'll see an increase in people preparing for moving their parents back in with them, (Granny flats on the side of the house etc), I know some are already doing it.

And I think our generation will be a bit more receptive to losing a bit of independence when we're older now we are seeing the consequence of these illnesses.
Losing their house and not being able to pass it onto their kids really hurt my in laws, it 's a conundrum we're all going to have to face.
I would say however, that in my experience, if you haven't got the skills to look after a sufferer once they've deteriorated past a certain point just moving them in with you won't be enough, they'll need specialist care.

 

[Otis]

I think you'll see an increase in people preparing for moving their parents back in with them, (Granny flats on the side of the house etc), I know some are already doing it.

And I think our generation will be a bit more receptive to losing a bit of independence when we're older now we are seeing the consequence of these illnesses.
Losing their house and not being able to pass it onto their kids really hurt my in laws, it 's a conundrum we're all going to have to face.
I would say however, that in my experience, if you haven't got the skills to look after a sufferer once they've deteriorated past a certain point just moving them in with you won't be enough, they'll need specialist care.

And the obvious answer for most of us is, no we don't have the skills.

 

[Skyblueweeman]

Funny things, aren't they...internet forums. Anything CCFC related, even though it's a common interest, we disagree, bicker and you build up images of people, sometimes negatively. You then read some of the stories on here which forces you to remember that we're all human. We all have our own stories of success, failure, happiness, sadness etc. It's a like a great little escape on here sometimes and hearing peoples stories. Puts a lot of things into perspective.

Back on topic, I've just been reading this.

Dementia and football: brain injury study to begin in January

I know there's been quite a bit of work done on these sorts of studies in NFL and I'm not surprised there's now a study in football and the links with Dementia/Alzheimers. I always wonder what can be done about it though. Is it a case of working with retired footballers and educating them on what might happen? Glad that it's being looked into though...a positive step forward in our little world of football.

 

[jimmyhillsfanclub]

And the obvious answer for most of us is, no we don't have the skills.

Its not just about having the skills set either, it became dangerous for my mother as my dad went through a brief period of basically being a 15st spitting ball of confusion, anger, depression, rage & madness......horrible times indeed.

The financial side of things was a nightmare too........and its a total lottery with regards funding or not.....there was another fella in the same care home as my dad who had identical needs......but due to him having a minor medical condition prior to the onset of alzheimers, his care was 100% funded......my dads was not. The whole system is a fucking farce.

 

[jimmyhillsfanclub]

Funny things, aren't they...internet forums. Anything CCFC related, even though it's a common interest, we disagree, bicker and you build up images of people, sometimes negatively. You then read some of the stories on here which forces you to remember that we're all human. We all have our own stories of success, failure, happiness, sadness etc. It's a like a great little escape on here sometimes and hearing peoples stories. Puts a lot of things into perspective.

Back on topic, I've just been reading this.

Dementia and football: brain injury study to begin in January

I know there's been quite a bit of work done on these sorts of studies in NFL and I'm not surprised there's now a study in football and the links with Dementia/Alzheimers. I always wonder what can be done about it though. Is it a case of working with retired footballers and educating them on what might happen? Glad that it's being looked into though...a positive step forward in our little world of football.

Yep. I've said it before SBWM....I use this place as therapy:emoji_cry::emoji_laughing::emoji_sunglasses::emoji_ok_hand:

 

[Captain Dart]

Heart goes out to you JHFC.

I am going to ask my parents if they will move in with us. I know the answer will be no though. I can sleep on the couch and my wife and daughter can share a room and they can have the other room. They are fiercely independent though, very much so. Completely set in their ways.

It's hard to know what to do. They are are both clearly struggling, my dad, physically and my mum mentally. No way would they go in a home, so it looks like I might just have to keep driving over every day.

Told them not to cook anything and stick to ready meals. Not ideal of course, but safety has to be paramount and I can see them setting fire to the place if they are not careful.

Assuming they stay put Otis. Hard to say without knowing their circumstances and they may object to the very idea but Crossroads were very good for short visits to help on shopping trips or a bit of light cleaning when an elderly Aunt of mine was alive. Probably worth ringing them to discuss what they could do. My Aunt had enough means to pay all the bills and about 5 years ago it was around £12 a visit for 2 visits a week, if it applies and they're prepared to submit to a means test the local authority may contribute. Finally Age UK is 0800 055 6112

Crossroads Care, Coventry and Warwickshire | Coventry Information Directory

 

[clint van damme]

Its not just about having the skills set either, it became dangerous for my mother as my dad went through a brief period of basically being a 15st spitting ball of confusion, anger, depression, rage & madness......horrible times indeed.

The financial side of things was a nightmare too........and its a total lottery with regards funding or not.....there was another fella in the same care home as my dad who had identical needs......but due to him having a minor medical condition prior to the onset of alzheimers, his care was 100% funded......my dads was not. The whole system is a fucking farce.

That's a horrible scenario JHFC.
Mad thing with my in laws was the father in law had a bit of a temper when he was younger and was a bit of a brawler whereas the mother in law was a really sweet woman yet it was her who got nastier though she seems to have calmed down now. I think my father in law dying has actually helped my mother in law.
They both attacked my wife at times though and although she wasn't physically hurt it was really upsetting for her.

As regarding funding it's horrible having to lose everything you worked for to pay for care. Someone suggested an insurance scheme to protect your assets and it's something I'd gladly pay into if it was properly regulated and Government approved.

 

[Nick]

There is a new Dementia Home / Place by Jardine Crescent. Not sure if they are any good.

 

[Skyblueweeman]

Yep. I've said it before SBWM....I use this place as therapy:emoji_cry::emoji_laughing::emoji_sunglasses::emoji_ok_hand:

Weird isn't it? You've got all the qualified help in medical institutions in the world, yet sometimes the best therapy can come from a bloke who bought a load of train tickets in April

 

[Otis]

Weird isn't it? You've got all the qualified help in medical institutions in the world, yet sometimes the best therapy can come from a bloke who bought a load of train tickets in April

Who's that then? I would love to meet him.

 

[Skyblueweeman]

Who's that then? I would love to meet him.

There's a mirror on it's way to you in the post Otis!

 

[Otis]

There's a mirror on it's way to you in the post Otis!

Great! Hope no-one's filled in the crossword puzzle.

 

[olderskyblue]

Funny things, aren't they...internet forums. Anything CCFC related, even though it's a common interest, we disagree, bicker and you build up images of people, sometimes negatively. You then read some of the stories on here which forces you to remember that we're all human. We all have our own stories of success, failure, happiness, sadness etc. It's a like a great little escape on here sometimes and hearing peoples stories. Puts a lot of things into perspective

Difference with this subject is that we actually do know something about it...

 

[bringbackrattles]

Glad I started this thread now as I was a bit unsure as it is a tricky subject. But reading the comments/stories it has raised some good points. Only last week a customer of mine who's around my age, he has dementia and it is scary to see how in just six months how rapidly his decline. When I was up the ladder he started shaking the bottom rungs, if it wasn't for his missus dragging him in I'd have probably come off !
He has been a Man City fan since I've known him, so he probably thought he'd shake me off my ladder for spite as he liked to wind me up being a Cov fan !

 

[Grendel]

Glad I started this thread now as I was a bit unsure as it is a tricky subject. But reading the comments/stories it has raised some good points. Only last week a customer of mine who's around my age, he has dementia and it is scary to see how in just six months how rapidly his decline. When I was up the ladder he started shaking the bottom rungs, if it wasn't for his missus dragging him in I'd have probably come off !
He has been a Man City fan since I've known him, so he probably thought he'd shake me off my ladder for spite as he liked to wind me up being a Cov fan !

If you are talking people under normal dementia age they normally actually get a diffeeent form - such as Pitts Disease. This attacks the frontal lobe aggressively and onset occurs within a matter of months.

 

[Otis]

If you are talking people under normal dementia age they normally actually get a diffeeent form - such as Pitts Disease. This attacks the frontal lobe aggressively and onset occurs within a matter of months.

Will look it up. Never heard of it.

 

[bringbackrattles]

If you are talking people under normal dementia age they normally actually get a diffeeent form - such as Pitts Disease. This attacks the frontal lobe aggressively and onset occurs within a matter of months.

Looked it up. You may have a point. My customer has changed dramatically in six months. His missus can't cope now as he's unpredictable etc.

 

[clint van damme]

Will look it up. Never heard of it.

Just to take a step back Otis, am I right to say your mum hasn't actually being diagnosed with anything yet? If so she may just be getting forgetful, it does happen to people without anything more sinister behind it. Hopefully that's the case.

 

[Otis]

Just to take a step back Otis, am I right to say your mum hasn't actually being diagnosed with anything yet? If so she may just be getting forgetful, it does happen to people without anything more sinister behind it. Hopefully that's the case.

No, not diagnosed yet. Saw the GP Tuesday and now awaiting the test results back.

Trouble is, it's such a remarkable decline just in a few months. She may be 87 but she was as bright as a button 6 months ago. Now she gets stuck on a word and can be stuck for minutes on end. The whole family have noticed a really accelerated decline and she has said herself there is something wrong. She is just now suddenly so frustrated and it is hard to get any coherent sentence out of her at times.