Ian Wright: Home Truths (1 Viewer)

[clint van damme]

I watched it....What a brave man......I didn't really want to because I knew I would end up in a mess & then have to talk about it with my Mrs.

Whilst everyone is correct when they say you've gotta talk about it, its fucking hard to do so.

I was silent about what I suffered for 37 years....finally sought some help about 3 years ago for some emotions & behaviours that, I've since learned, were a direct result of the trauma of the abuse.

After getting some therapy, I finally understood it wasn't my fault & that I could finally tell my wife......but that was the hardest conversation of my life...and thats got some pretty stiff competition in itself I can tell thee.

I think part of the reason I didn't tell my Mrs about my current health scare was because I feel I've already burdened her enough.....I know they say a trouble shared is a trouble halved but fuck me, its a heavy load to carry.

The things that really resonated with me from Ian Wrights conversations:

1. When, after hearing about other victims abuse, he felt embarrassed that he was "acting the victim" despite clearly being one. Nail on head.
2. Seeing it finally dawn on him when talking to the therapist that as a middle aged successful man with his own loving family around him, hes free, he has choices & is no longer in danger. Such a relief.
3. That the anger/resentment/violence/depression he feels relates to his 9 year old self....not the 56 year old man he is now....and he can choose to not feel that anymore. Its not easy, and its almost definitely a work in progress for life, but I hope it helps him find some peace.

I think I might watch it again over the weekend as I found some of it very helpful indeed.....good free therapy......even if it does make my cry like a baby.

Happy Friday folks.

Glad you got something from it mate. Sorry for what you've been through. Big online man hug.

 

---

[Kneeza]

I watched it....What a brave man......I didn't really want to because I knew I would end up in a mess & then have to talk about it with my Mrs.

Whilst everyone is correct when they say you've gotta talk about it, its fucking hard to do so.

I was silent about what I suffered for 37 years....finally sought some help about 3 years ago for some emotions & behaviours that, I've since learned, were a direct result of the trauma of the abuse.

After getting some therapy, I finally understood it wasn't my fault & that I could finally tell my wife......but that was the hardest conversation of my life...and thats got some pretty stiff competition in itself I can tell thee.

I think part of the reason I didn't tell my Mrs about my current health scare was because I feel I've already burdened her enough.....I know they say a trouble shared is a trouble halved but fuck me, its a heavy load to carry.

The things that really resonated with me from Ian Wrights conversations:

1. When, after hearing about other victims abuse, he felt embarrassed that he was "acting the victim" despite clearly being one. Nail on head.
2. Seeing it finally dawn on him when talking to the therapist that as a middle aged successful man with his own loving family around him, hes free, he has choices & is no longer in danger. Such a relief.
3. That the anger/resentment/violence/depression he feels relates to his 9 year old self....not the 56 year old man he is now....and he can choose to not feel that anymore. Its not easy, and its almost definitely a work in progress for life, but I hope it helps him find some peace.

I think I might watch it again over the weekend as I found some of it very helpful indeed.....good free therapy......even if it does make my cry like a baby.

Happy Friday folks.

A lot of what you say resonates, moreso for my wife, hence her being in bits while watching it.
Take care.

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

I watched it....What a brave man......I didn't really want to because I knew I would end up in a mess & then have to talk about it with my Mrs.

Whilst everyone is correct when they say you've gotta talk about it, its fucking hard to do so.

I was silent about what I suffered for 37 years....finally sought some help about 3 years ago for some emotions & behaviours that, I've since learned, were a direct result of the trauma of the abuse.

After getting some therapy, I finally understood it wasn't my fault & that I could finally tell my wife......but that was the hardest conversation of my life...and thats got some pretty stiff competition in itself I can tell thee.

I think part of the reason I didn't tell my Mrs about my current health scare was because I feel I've already burdened her enough.....I know they say a trouble shared is a trouble halved but fuck me, its a heavy load to carry.

The things that really resonated with me from Ian Wrights conversations:

1. When, after hearing about other victims abuse, he felt embarrassed that he was "acting the victim" despite clearly being one. Nail on head.
2. Seeing it finally dawn on him when talking to the therapist that as a middle aged successful man with his own loving family around him, hes free, he has choices & is no longer in danger. Such a relief.
3. That the anger/resentment/violence/depression he feels relates to his 9 year old self....not the 56 year old man he is now....and he can choose to not feel that anymore. Its not easy, and its almost definitely a work in progress for life, but I hope it helps him find some peace.

I think I might watch it again over the weekend as I found some of it very helpful indeed.....good free therapy......even if it does make my cry like a baby.

Happy Friday folks.

Bless you for sharing

 

[Alan Dugdales Moustache]

It was, partly. There was one particularly emotionally-charged stanza early on where he visits the flat where he lived as a kid.
You could clearly saw the raw pain, and understand it as he descibed his life then.
He was also very honest about his career behaviours in later life.
I was never a huge Wrighty fan, but this showed me a whole new angle on the man, and left me with a new level of respect.

What Wright said rang absolutely true with me. He spent his childhood scared and anxious, almost all of his teenage years seem to be a complete blur and he constantly blames himself for not being able to do anything about it forgetting , of course, that he was just a kid.
Absolutely top bloke Wrighty. My mum was a cruel and heartless bitch of a mother to me in the 1960s and 70s and after that documentary I told her do.

 

[Kneeza]

What Wright said rang absolutely true with me. He spent his childhood scared and anxious, almost all of his teenage years seem to be a complete blur and he constantly blames himself for not being able to do anything about it forgetting , of course, that he was just a kid.
After the programme I phoned my mum and reminded her of all the unforgivable acts of cruelty she subjected me to in the 19760s and 1970s. I feel a whole lot better for it. She can rot.

That was courageous, and I applaud you.
My wife was subjected to some vile things, that I won't elaborate on, by her older sister (who also later pimped out her young teenage daughter) and to a lesser extent by her older brother. Both were (are) a lot older than her and had ostensibly taken on a 'caring' role following the death of their mother when my wife was quite young.
She can count herself lucky that she now lives a long way away in Lytham St Annes, now that I know more of the story.
The only upside is that she's now about 30 stones and virtually confined to her own foul company.
I sometimes wish my wife would do what you did, but at 61 she's learned to live with it.
But it's never right, is it?

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Made piece with my dad before he died of cancer when I was about 30. Certainly triggering difficult memories of cowering in my room listening to fights and smashed plates downstairs and fearing what might happen.

Thanks for making me watch that sbt family

 

[Alan Dugdales Moustache]

Made piece with my dad before he died of cancer when I was about 30. Certainly triggering difficult memories of cowering in my room listening to fights and smashed plates downstairs and fearing what might happen.

Thanks for making me watch that sbt family

It's horrific this kind of stuff. You're constantly feeling sick. Like you I suffered this. On top and amongst other things my mum would drag me and my sister out of bed when we were about 7 years old in the small hours and force us to sit waiting for my dad to come home from the pub to, I'm assuming, " punish him" I can still hear my sister sobbing and of feeling freezing cold and shaking uncontrollably.
Happily I did learn not to do this kind of thing to my own kids and though they're grown up now I'm pretty sure they came through generally unscathed and we're all still in touch. They rarely saw my parents as I never wanted them near such a toxic environment and I have no regrets in doing that .

I will never forgive my parents , my mum in particular. Kids never forget this kind of thing and it scars you forever.