prefect opportunity with over 40,000 fans to have a protest,invasion of pitch,wear dark colour tops,flares,get the game called off,anything that will highlight our plight and embarrass Sisu.this is just a mickey mouse cup really and will mean sod all at the end of the game,this protest being live on sky,how can we pass it by. forget its a family day out..lets drive a dagger right into SISU... ALL ACTION FULL ON PROTEST...THAT IS WHAT IS NEEDED.
I've got a great idea but I'll take a little work. There's an army base the other side of Southam at Kineton, it's an ammunition dump, etc.
Firstly, you need a car. Steal an anonymous dark coloured sedan (as they do in the films) and park it in a convenient field gateway opposite the entrance. Don't worry the guards won't notice. Change into the army outfit you'll have to hire. Practice military speak beforehand so you don't get caught out. Be prepared.
Tunnel under the fence (but take wire cutters in case the ground is a bit hard, shovel too obviously), avoid security, dogs and stuff and find where they keep the tanks. Get the keys; they'll be on a hook somewhere or under the sun visor.
Now the next part is important and you must hold your nerve: DO NOT crash through the security barriers at the entrance, that'll be game over. Stop at the barrier, keep calm and do the following.
Guard: Where you taking that tank, lad?
You: For an MOT at the local garage, mate
Guard: Fine
He'll wave you through. Go to a big town or somewhere to get petrol as this baby is going to drink the fuel like you wouldn't believe and you don't want to pay motorway prices! Drive down to Wembley stadium, settle down in the car park for a bit, listen to Clive's commentary and amuse yourself with how many times he calls Oxford by another team name. Or count the amount of time he says "stops and checks".
Now, it gets interesting. On a significant minute of the match, 87 or whatever, crash through the big doors drive onto the pitch - avoid the players - stop in the centre circle and shout "up periscope!" as that's what they say in the films. Use that to find Fisher in the crowd and fire....but not a real shell or anything. Beforehand you will have cleverly constructed a mechanism so when you fire a flag shoots out saying "Fisher Resign" or "Sisu Out". Use your imagination.
Now get out of there! Obviously still avoiding players, etc.
Remember this has a higher worldwide TV audience than the Superbowl so the impact will be, well...mind blowing.
Drive back to Kineton and put the tank back. Now you'll have been gone a while. Although luckily it will be the same guard, you might have to explain the length of time you were gone, but I've got that covered too.
Guard: You were a long time (he will probably look at his watch at this point)
You: Yeah, lady in front of me in the MOT queue had a bit of an issue with her Civic.
(There could be a tense few seconds as he thinks about this as he has a Civic and has always found it economical and reliable)
You'll be aware of the small beads of perspiration breaking out on your forehead which will twinkle slighty under the bright security lights, but keep control and stay calm.
Guard: Ah, that explains it then.
If he does get too suspicious just say something like "Women, eh?" He'll chuckle as if you've just told him the funniest joke ever.
He'll wave you through. Stick the tank back where you found it, take all your rubbish with you. Use the tunnel or hole in the fence to get back to your sedan.
Coincidentally, the minute you open the car door you'll hear sirens going off inside the base. Why? you'll think to yourself. Then you'll realise you carelessly dropped that empty Frazzles bag just outside the tank. As there isn't a breath of wind the bag didn't blow away and one of the alsatians started sniffing it. His handler will say something like "Watcha got there, boy?" You've been rumbled!! He'll shout "bloody hell fire" and press the alarm.
Drive away as fast as you can. Dump the sedan.
Go home. Turn on the news: any channel as they'll all be covering the story and bask in the glow of your success.
