Mental Health (1 Viewer)

[Brighton Sky Blue]

How do you know you're not one of them ;-)

When the going gets tough

 

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[Brighton Sky Blue]

Well done for typing that Dave, it's not easy to do. Despite your parents apparent brush off, it seems that the last 18 months has taken it's toll on many, even if this forum is anything to go by.

Having felt like crap at many points this year, I agree with what Shmmeee says. I severely reduced screen time, ate better and started running. I hated the running at the start but got into it and ended up being able to do 5 miles in 45 mins. I've regressed a little over the last month or so and if I'm honest, starting to go backwards. That said, I've found out I'm going to be a dad again late November which is great, although gives the added pressure of needing to find some office space (which I can't afford at the moment).

Organised sport has really helped in the last month for me, even if it is just hopelessly swiping at a cricket ball. A chance to forget about Covid and work for half a day, get some exercise and get out for some other reason than work. Much less irritable at the end of the day even if I've had a shocker in the middle

 

[SBT]

Did think about trying a therapist but then I saw how much they charge.

Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.

 

[Nick]

Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.

Also after a few sessions it doesn't have to be weekly. Can be fortnightly etc.

Money well spent

 

[COV]

Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.

it is a sound investment

 

[shmmeee]

Don't rule it out entirely just because it's expensive on the face of it. No doubt it costs me a small fortune to see a therapist, but it remains one of the best investments I've ever made. I too thought it would be completely unaffordable before I started, but quickly realised it was worth every penny - unequivocally turned things round for me and changed my life for the better. Even a few sessions might make a world of difference.

This 100%, Id tried a couple through IAPT and not got anywhere. Found a private guy who just clicked and it was worth every penny.

 

[Flying Fokker]

You guys are a decent bunch. Just saying.

 

[robbiekeane]

Dumb question about the therapy stuff - what do you talk about? I was thinking of trying it just because I’m stressed all the time about work and stuff - but how do you start with that?

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Dumb question about the therapy stuff - what do you talk about? I was thinking of trying it just because I’m stressed all the time about work and stuff - but how do you start with that?

I have a book that my counsellor gave me when I asked that question. Not that I think I nailed the counselling and still feel I would value some more.

It’s called counselling for toads and I’m happy to bring it round or post it depending on where you are.

The first question I was asked was what do you want to get out of the counselling sessions? So you might say you’re stressed out all the time about work and stuff. Then they’d ask questions about the work and stuff and get you talking to understand what it is.

 

[shmmeee]

Dumb question about the therapy stuff - what do you talk about? I was thinking of trying it just because I’m stressed all the time about work and stuff - but how do you start with that?

Mine followed a CBT toolkit basically (you can find apps/examples online, I’ve not used any so no recommendations but should give you an idea).

First thing he called ABC - Action, Behaviour, Consequence.

So take negative self talk as an example behaviour. First I was told to look for actions that set off my negative behaviour, this alone helps because it tells you early when you’re likely to start spiralling. Then looked at that I did in response so I knew I was doing it if that makes sense. Then the consequence (ultimately bad because that’s why I want to change). This helped be most day to day notice the behaviours that I needed to put a stop to. Over time I caught more of them earlier and was more reflective and less reactive.

Other stuff he did included guided meditations looking back at hurtful times and reimagining them with better outcomes. Some free writing. A workshop on identifying “tapes” (scripts you say to yourself) and how to unpack them and decide if you want to keep listening to them (some are useful). This was a bit hit and miss for me personally. Too cynical for the plinky plonky woo stuff.

Many sessions it was just the chance to talk to someone with no ties to your personal life and then being a “rubber duck” where you come to realisations by verbalising your thoughts requiring you to clarify them, with him occasionally challenging something I’d said about myself or a situation.

I stopped going partly due to money and partly due to getting better. I’ve not had a serious depressive episode and handily my anxiety much better in the years since thanks to the tools I was taught. I’m actually starting to think about going back, but less in crisis mode this time and more because my reflection has lead me to areas I’d like to work on and I feel a need a little specific help.

 

[Houchens Head]

When I saw a therapist about 30 years ago, she first asked me about my childhood. She got it bang on. I hadn't realised that I had been suppressing so much anger and sadness the whole of my life. She told me to write things down when I thought of shitty things from my past. I wrote down so many things, I ended up writing my autobiography. Not saying I recommend that, but it helped me.

 

[shmmeee]

When I saw a therapist about 30 years ago, she first asked me about my childhood. She got it bang on. I hadn't realised that I had been suppressing so much anger and sadness the whole of my life. She told me to write things down when I thought of shitty things from my past. I wrote down so many things, I ended up writing my autobiography. Not saying I recommend that, but it helped me.

Writing is really good therapy full stop. If you just sit down and keep writing you’d be amazed at what you come out with.

 

[Houchens Head]

Writing is really good therapy full stop. If you just sit down and keep writing you’d be amazed at what you come out with.

I agree shmmeee. Even if you just jot down how you felt for the day, things you thought about, people you met etc, it's like keeping a journal. Very therapeutic.

 

[fernandopartridge]

You guys are a decent bunch. Just saying.

Stop being judgemental

 

[Sky Blue Harry H]

Anybody on here who needs a fantastic counsellor (also a fantastic bloke, and a CCFC fan) DM me. Not touting for work, but I've known him for years and been told he's brilliant.

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

Anybody on here who needs a fantastic counsellor (also a fantastic bloke, and a CCFC fan) DM me. Not touting for work, but I've known him for years and been told he's brilliant.

Is it Max Biamou by any chance?

 

[Sky Blue Harry H]

Is it Max Biamou by any chance?

Haha - you got me there mate!

 

[clint van damme]

Is it Max Biamou by any chance?

Dr. Max Biamou to you

 

[Houchens Head]

Is it Max Biamou by any chance?

Nah! It's Dr Hannibal Lecter.

 

[Nick]

Estate Agents, Solicitors and Sellers really aren't good for mental health.

About ready to kill somebody today, fucking useless pricks.

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

Estate Agents, Solicitors and Sellers really aren't good for mental health.

About ready to kill somebody today, fucking useless pricks.

My solicitor was really good, but horrendously overworked. Don't think they get that much from house purchases do they?

It'll drop one day when you aren't expecting it.

 

[Nick]

My solicitor was really good, but horrendously overworked. Don't think they get that much from house purchases do they?

It'll drop one day when you aren't expecting it.

It's the seller's one, absolutely awful. Overlooked 7 enquiries from March.

 

[TomRad85]

Estate Agents, Solicitors and Sellers really aren't good for mental health.

About ready to kill somebody today, fucking useless pricks.

As someone who is supposed to be completing this week, I can relate.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

 

[Grendel]

On the way to work I found myself putting This Strange Engine on Spotify.

I’m booked in for therapy I’m sure I’ll recover

 

[Marty]

 

[robbiekeane]

I have a book that my counsellor gave me when I asked that question. Not that I think I nailed the counselling and still feel I would value some more.

It’s called counselling for toads and I’m happy to bring it round or post it depending on where you are.

The first question I was asked was what do you want to get out of the counselling sessions? So you might say you’re stressed out all the time about work and stuff. Then they’d ask questions about the work and stuff and get you talking to understand what it is.

Mine followed a CBT toolkit basically (you can find apps/examples online, I’ve not used any so no recommendations but should give you an idea).

First thing he called ABC - Action, Behaviour, Consequence.

So take negative self talk as an example behaviour. First I was told to look for actions that set off my negative behaviour, this alone helps because it tells you early when you’re likely to start spiralling. Then looked at that I did in response so I knew I was doing it if that makes sense. Then the consequence (ultimately bad because that’s why I want to change). This helped be most day to day notice the behaviours that I needed to put a stop to. Over time I caught more of them earlier and was more reflective and less reactive.

Other stuff he did included guided meditations looking back at hurtful times and reimagining them with better outcomes. Some free writing. A workshop on identifying “tapes” (scripts you say to yourself) and how to unpack them and decide if you want to keep listening to them (some are useful). This was a bit hit and miss for me personally. Too cynical for the plinky plonky woo stuff.

Many sessions it was just the chance to talk to someone with no ties to your personal life and then being a “rubber duck” where you come to realisations by verbalising your thoughts requiring you to clarify them, with him occasionally challenging something I’d said about myself or a situation.

I stopped going partly due to money and partly due to getting better. I’ve not had a serious depressive episode and handily my anxiety much better in the years since thanks to the tools I was taught. I’m actually starting to think about going back, but less in crisis mode this time and more because my reflection has lead me to areas I’d like to work on and I feel a need a little specific help.

Appreciate the detailed response, thanks.

@Sky Blue Pete , could you swing by Long Beach and drop it off?

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Appreciate the detailed response, thanks.

@Sky Blue Pete , could you swing by Long Beach and drop it off?

Lol

 

[Ccfcisparks]

Struggling recently, but just found out today I've passed 3 more of my chartered accountancy papers. 9 down this past year, 3 more to go before the end of 2021 then a well deserved break.

 

[SBAndy]

Struggling recently, but just found out today I've passed 3 more of my chartered accountancy papers. 9 down this past year, 3 more to go before the end of 2021 then a well deserved break.

God knows how you do it. I studied accountancy at uni - boring as fuck.

 

[Evo1883]

God knows how you do it. I studied accountancy at uni - boring as fuck.

My mate was an accountant and then came away from it for the same reason.

Moneys good mind

 

[Evo1883]

My mental health is the best it's been for quite a long time .

In a good place and just been offered a permanent contract at work , booked a holiday for next year and about to buy a second car , got my season ticket at city ...sadly I've still got an extraordinarily average sized penis but il have to learn to live with that

 

[Ccfcisparks]

God knows how you do it. I studied accountancy at uni - boring as fuck.

Boring as fuck mate but somehow I have a knack for it.

 

[wingy]

Well done for typing that Dave, it's not easy to do. Despite your parents apparent brush off, it seems that the last 18 months has taken it's toll on many, even if this forum is anything to go by.

Having felt like crap at many points this year, I agree with what Shmmeee says. I severely reduced screen time, ate better and started running. I hated the running at the start but got into it and ended up being able to do 5 miles in 45 mins. I've regressed a little over the last month or so and if I'm honest, starting to go backwards. That said, I've found out I'm going to be a dad again late November which is great, although gives the added pressure of needing to find some office space (which I can't afford at the moment).

There's always something to worry about unfortunately. This has been a real life changing time...I've looked at all aspects of my life - cutting down contact with friends who are full of self importance, reducing time on sites that are full of doom and gloom and thinking about the little things that put a smile on face, reducing expenditure where possible (goodbye Sky Sports).

We're all in this together - don't think you're in this on your own as seemingly, there's many of us feeling down at the moment.

Reach out privately if you fancy a chat. We can chat about all things Pompey as I know you used to live down this way.

All the best,

WM

Hey missed this.
Congratulations WM.
Of course you know the answer to the office space ,a garden Room /pod, with no gastly commute for the majority of your business.

 

[Skyblueweeman]

Hey missed this.
Congratulations WM.
Of course you know the answer to the office space ,a garden Room /pod, with no gastly commute for the majority of your business.

Thanks Wingy!

We're redoing the garden but with a shed, we don't have room for one of those pods unfortunately. Our back garden backs onto a horse paddock which is nice for the boy to look at the horses etc.

I'm sure I'll get something sorted!

 

[GaryMabbuttsLeftKnee]

An anxiety sufferer here. Generally situational based (although it is a few situations). Causes me to get down a fair bit. Had a shit weekend with chronic toothache and I’m scared shitless of the dentist. Normally persevere without going but this time have signed up for a dentist for the first time in over a decade and now am absolutely bricking it about an appointment on Thursday. Doesn’t help that I’m terrible in the sun, so am dreading it even more going in when it’s hot. Urgh.


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