My beautiful wife RIP, (1 Viewer)

brez said:

Hey guys I have been a member for a good few years and had season tickets with my son. Not been this season due to circumstances. I just want to share that yesterday afternoon I lost my beautiful wife and soul mate, she used to come to city games when we met, we are 25 yrs married in January, she's only 47 years old and we thought she had chest infection but she had heart failure, her dad and his brother both died at the age of 47, I don't want to ruin peoples happiness at this time of year, just love those around you because you don't know what's around the corner, I'll be back to watch city next year, but if anyone has any advice on this grieving stuff please let me know because it's hard. Thank you

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So sorry to hear that, wish I could help with something to say but don't think I would fully know what to say. thoughts are with u and your family at this difficult time. X

brez said:

Hey guys I have been a member for a good few years and had season tickets with my son. Not been this season due to circumstances. I just want to share that yesterday afternoon I lost my beautiful wife and soul mate, she used to come to city games when we met, we are 25 yrs married in January, she's only 47 years old and we thought she had chest infection but she had heart failure, her dad and his brother both died at the age of 47, I don't want to ruin peoples happiness at this time of year, just love those around you because you don't know what's around the corner, I'll be back to watch city next year, but if anyone has any advice on this grieving stuff please let me know because it's hard. Thank you

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sorry for your loss Brez.
I don't know what else to say, that is such young age, it's really sad. Hope as time goes by the memories of your time together brings you comfort.

So sorry to hear this and an awful time for it to happen.

Have you got people around you can talk to?

There are always places like cruse who may be able to help.

My old man died at the same age, and for the same reason. I was 17.

different relationship to yours of course, but it is hard, very hard. As suggested, dont bottle it up. Talk to people. I found mates the best, as they didn’t let me wallow in the grieving. There wasn’t as much help available back then either.

If your struggling, there are people that can help. let them.

Sorry for your loss , mate .

Sorry to hear about your bad news.

Very Sorry for your loss - while it might seem painful don’t shut yourself away speak to your family and your real friends they will support you - She would want you to be yourself

Sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss mate.

Sorry for your loss, RIP

brez said:

Hey guys I have been a member for a good few years and had season tickets with my son. Not been this season due to circumstances. I just want to share that yesterday afternoon I lost my beautiful wife and soul mate, she used to come to city games when we met, we are 25 yrs married in January, she's only 47 years old and we thought she had chest infection but she had heart failure, her dad and his brother both died at the age of 47, I don't want to ruin peoples happiness at this time of year, just love those around you because you don't know what's around the corner, I'll be back to watch city next year, but if anyone has any advice on this grieving stuff please let me know because it's hard. Thank you

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So so Sorry to hear this mate. My condolences to your whole family. I hope you get through this ok. All the best

Sincere condolences brez.

Suggest you hammer down the door of your GP and get some proper diagnostics done on your son as it sounds like a hereditary condition.

I'm sure these things can be managed if diagnosed in a timely manner.

As for advice. See a professional and DO NOT BOTTLE IT UP!

Stephen Colbert has done some extremely powerful interviews on the subject of grief - he lost his father and two of his brothers in a plane crash as a kid. The Andrew Garfield one in particular blew me away, which I wasn’t expecting. Well worth a watch - we all have to process it sometime.

So sorry for your loss. That is terribly sad and I wish you all the best.

Do seek help from friends and family and professionals if needed.

My thoughts are with you..

Shit!

So sorry for what you are going through right now

There are no words but I do want to say thank you for the reminder of what’s important in this life!

Understanding how grief is a process can sometimes help. I found it incredibly useful to work through the Kubler Ross grief curve and incredibly unhelpful for people to say time heals ( although it probably does help)

Bless you and as others have said talk it out with those around you and use us on here if it’s at all useful

So sorry for your loss.

Sorry to hear your sad news.
We lost our daughter 4 years ago and it will be something you never get over.
There will be so much less joy in your life and there will be a million triggers around you to bring back your memories.
If it's any consolation, life will drop back into a routine, albeit a very different one.
Friends will struggle to know what to say, not becouse they don't care but in case they hurt or upset you.
There is no timescale to how you will grieve, but set small goals for yourself, go shopping, visit a relative, maybe think about a pet (if you haven't got one), etc
Above all, there is no easy answer in the bottom of a bottle.

You have my thoughts and best wishes and now is the time to hang on to those very positive times you had together.........

Sorry for your loss, mate, my thoughts are with you and your family. Take care of yourself.

Sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss, Brez. I can't imagine what you're going through. My thoughts are with you and your family. Stay strong x

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brez said:

Hey guys I have been a member for a good few years and had season tickets with my son. Not been this season due to circumstances. I just want to share that yesterday afternoon I lost my beautiful wife and soul mate, she used to come to city games when we met, we are 25 yrs married in January, she's only 47 years old and we thought she had chest infection but she had heart failure, her dad and his brother both died at the age of 47, I don't want to ruin peoples happiness at this time of year, just love those around you because you don't know what's around the corner, I'll be back to watch city next year, but if anyone has any advice on this grieving stuff please let me know because it's hard. Thank you

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Ive got no advice on grief other than deal with it in your own way. Life is just very cruel sometimes but remember all the good times together, they can never be taken away.

My condolences to you and your son. Stay strong for one another

Mate this is awful. I hope there are people you can talk to, try not to hole yourself up and deal with it alone.

What a horrible moment for you ...I'm sorry i cant help you in your loss of your wife ...try to stay strong and seek out comfort and advice in others

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. You have to take things a day at a time and not think ahead too much. Your head will be all over the place for a while.
You mention you have a son. He needs you right now and together you can offer each other support. He won't understand his own feelings for a long time but he will always remember his mum and what you did to support him in his hour of need.

God bless you and your family. Thoughts and prayers.

I’ve got no advice on grieving, we’re all different & cope in our own ways, my condolences to you Brez & your son. Don’t be afraid to talk to people (even us fuckwits on here)
Above all remember and cherish the good times.

I feel lost for words, which is unusual for me. I too, have known grief through death - a sister aged 23 killed in a car smash and a son who died just a week old. I know that doesn't help you, but all I'm saying is, your grief is up to you how you want to deal with it. Don't let people tell you to try and "get over it". You won't. Not until you are ready to. And even then, you won't ever be over it. I still get upset thinking about my big sister and that happened back in 1972. Bloody miss her like crazy.
There are some really good lads (and lasses) on this forum who I'm sure will be there for you if you need a chat. I certainly am. Unfortunately, not in person, unless you come over to Malvern, but I'm on the end of a private message if you want to talk.
Please take the advice offered about getting help with dealing with the situation. Your GP is a good start and if you can't get an appointment, try the Samaritans. They're not just there for suicidal people y'know. They are well trained to talk about anything that's bringing you down. Get family members to help with funeral arrangements. Don't take it all on board yourself.
I'm not religious in way way, shape or form, but if you are, then hopefully you can find solace with your God, whoever that may be.
Thoughts are with you.

Fuck sorry mate

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FFS..Puts all your own issues into perspective….sending the best wishes possible to you and your family, x

brez said:

Hey guys I have been a member for a good few years and had season tickets with my son. Not been this season due to circumstances. I just want to share that yesterday afternoon I lost my beautiful wife and soul mate, she used to come to city games when we met, we are 25 yrs married in January, she's only 47 years old and we thought she had chest infection but she had heart failure, her dad and his brother both died at the age of 47, I don't want to ruin peoples happiness at this time of year, just love those around you because you don't know what's around the corner, I'll be back to watch city next year, but if anyone has any advice on this grieving stuff please let me know because it's hard. Thank you

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So sorry for your loss mate. I lost my Mrs when she was 46, 3 and a half years ago.
Not sure what to say to you on here, other than this place if you ask for it will help you so much.
They did with me and i am sure you will get the same.
P.M. me with your number if you want a chat, (i will call you back as i can call UK numbers from here for free).

To be really honest, everyone is different. A woman out here lost her husband 2 years ago and is already with someone else.
Whereas I can't even think about meeting anyone else yet.
From the moment i wake up till i fall asleep my Mrs is never far from my mind and everywhere i go things people say and do remind me of us doing the same thing.

I won't sit here and say things will get better, so many people told me that. I would not say things get better BUT they do change and you learn to live with it (sometimes even forget) but your only ever a (memory or someone else doing something that clicks in your mind) and the next thing you know it all comes back (including good memories).

It will not be an easy journey, half of you has just been ripped away and you need to find a way to not only heal that but also fill that void.
There will be times when things seem too much and you just want to blow out, guess what i did/do still too. I did/do it on here, in my local bar and even with clients. People will understand, share with them and explain your situation.

I'm only a short arse and threw tables and chairs around in my local (very hard out here to register a death and cremate for a non Spanish person), i was being run ragged when all i wanted to do was die myself or cry, they told me all the paperwork was ok and i went to my local to unwind (literaly 5 mins after they said it was all ok), 2 days before her cremation. They then called me back to say i needed yet another piece of paperwork and i just blew.

To be fair it was a friend's bar and he told me to carry on and get it out of my system, not saying you should do this but you will have times you feel angry and you will need supportive people around you.

Never bottle it up, cry if you want to, believe me it will help.

Things will always remind you of her, it's how you learn to live with it. Last night about 20 MRS Santas came into the bar i was in (i was dropping work off, not drinking) and one had the same Christmas stockings on as my Mrs used to wear, bang! i felt my insides crumble but i kept strong and got through it.

Be strong mate and always ask for help it you need it. Not just me but your friends, family etc...

don't forget you can message me if you want to talk to a stranger and i will call you straight back.

Hello mate. Can’t even begin to imagine.

Use this space - there are some great people on this site and having a familiar anchor in the city makes it feel more like family as much as people like to pretend it’s just a fan site.

If you ever want to just chat to someone you don’t know with zero risk I’m happy to talk mate.