Q. What's the difference between a Leeds fan and a coconut?
A. One's thick and hairy, and the other's a tropical fruit.
Q: What's the difference between a Pyromaniac and Leeds football club?
A: A Pyromaniac wouldn't throw away all his matches!
Q: What has 70,000 arms and an IQ of 170
A: Elland road every other Saturday.
Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to anyone from Leeds?
A: It saves time
Q: What do you call a Leeds fan in a 2 bedroomed Semi?
A: A burglar
Q: How can you tell when Leeds are losing? A: It's five past three.
Q: What do you call a Leeds fan with many girlfriends? A: A Shepherd
Q: What did Lee Bowyer say when he took a girl out for the night?
A: Fancy an Indian?
Q: What do you call 20 Leeds fans sky-diving?
A: Diarrhoea
Q: What have General Pinochet and Leeds United have in common?
A: They both round people up into football stadiums and torture them.
Elland Road Boss Peter Risdale has sacked David Leary and employed a new Chinese manager.
His name: Win One Soon
Q: What do you say to a Leeds United fan with a job?
A: Can I have a Big Mac please!