pipkin73
Well-Known Member
I'm in PR, who do you know?
I'm in PR, who do you know?That's good to hear, I know an Irish family who live in PR, there is a nice community feel out there. Hope things improve for you mate, onwards and upwards.
I've sent you a pm mateI'm in PR, who do you know?
Opposite with me. I am always up hours before my daughter.I’m a dad to 3 boys, aged 5 and under. It’s tough, anyone is lying if they say it isn’t. You have to change your way of life, they cost money (including losing some or all of my wife’s salary) and it puts a strain on your relationship... but I would have it no other way. They are my best friends already, I love every day with them and they are my reason for getting out of bed and going to work.
We already play football in the garden and one day we’ll go tho cov and the pub! Eventually they’ll check in on me when I’m an old man.
I didn’t have kids until I was in my 30s, which meant I got to do the playing football and drinking every Saturday. Now I can’t do it I don’t miss it... It’s important you still get a tiny bit of your own time (5-a-side on a Thursday!) and you need to make time and effort with your partner.
In short, the toughest and best thing you’ll ever do! In my opinion!
However, I wish they didn’t wake up so early!!! I guess that’ll come!
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Opposite with me. I am always up hours before my daughter.
Are you going to try it on with the physio again???I'm 30 and childless, I do want to have children but there's still so much I want to do first. I expect I'll be into my 40's before I have one. Saying that, I could meet someone this weekend and they could be up the duff before you know it.
I'm 33 but the missus is only 26 and a midwife and always swore she'd never have one and showed me graphic before and after images when I was least expecting it to back up her choice. However, last week she started wanting to talk about baby names from the middle of nowhere, felt terrified ever since.
Being serous though, everyone tells me I'd be a great day and I have to agree
Are you going to try it on with the physio again???
So true, my kids don't have ipads, TV's etc albeit I allow them to use mine on occasions. kids need to be kids and use their imaginations rather than sit there watching a screen. My eldest has become such an artist and despite the millions of drawings we have in the house, its great. I see other kids just glued to screens and demanding phones when they are so young and glad we didn't fall into that trapI've got 3 kids boys 6 &4 and girl 8 nothing beats walking through the door after a shoddy day at work to the youngest shouting daddies home and running for a cuddle whilst the other two sit there an play on their various gaming devices.....the hardest part for me and my kids is getting them away from the electrical items and out into the world getting muddy etc
Glutton for punishment me.
..... The hardest is the first one.......
My two daughters (now 22 and 26) grew up before the smart phone era and were talented artists and musicians with beautiful singing voices. They would create a sensation today if they sang on Youtube.So true, my kids don't have ipads, TV's etc albeit I allow them to use mine on occasions. kids need to be kids and use their imaginations rather than sit there watching a screen. My eldest has become such an artist and despite the millions of drawings we have in the house, its great. I see other kids just glued to screens and demanding phones when they are so young and glad we didn't fall into that trap
Don’t disagree but enjoying it whilst it lasts.My two daughters (now 22 and 26) grew up before the smart phone era and were talented artists and musicians with beautiful singing voices. They would create a sensation today if they sang on Youtube.
However as soon as they entered the teen years they got mobile phones, then as they got older iPhones, iPads, lap tops. Now they are totally hooked to technology 24 hours a day (they sleep with their phones). On long car journeys, they don't look out the window at the passing scenery, they look at their phones. I haven't seen either one draw, paint, sing, or play their musical instruments in years. So I think you are just postponing the inevitable.
We had no trouble with ours either.Definitely not true in our case. My Son slept through the night from 3 months old onwards, never gives us an ounce of trouble. My Daughter however is a hurricane in a human form. She is coming up on 3 years old and has never slept through the night, not once. She brings devastation wherever she goes and her tantrums can be seen and heard from the International Space Station. On the flip side she is hilariously funny, never dull even for a second and i have a sneaky sense of pride in the fact that she bullies kids twice her size. Even at 2 years old she knows her own mind and is totally fearless - all things i love about her but there is no doubt what-so-ever that had she arrived first there would not have been a second child!
I never meant the first child is the hardest to control. Ours was the third. But he was the best sleeper when a baby. The wife used to wake him up to check he was still OK. You would forget you had him.Definitely not true in our case. My Son slept through the night from 3 months old onwards, never gives us an ounce of trouble. My Daughter however is a hurricane in a human form. She is coming up on 3 years old and has never slept through the night, not once. She brings devastation wherever she goes and her tantrums can be seen and heard from the International Space Station. On the flip side she is hilariously funny, never dull even for a second and i have a sneaky sense of pride in the fact that she bullies kids twice her size. Even at 2 years old she knows her own mind and is totally fearless - all things i love about her but there is no doubt what-so-ever that had she arrived first there would not have been a second child!
I worry for you here a little Otis, I have 3 girls and I love them all. We used to do so much together for years then they got to an age and you suddenly become second fiddle to some scroty boyfriend and it's definitely not always someone you would pick for them. Don't become too reliant pal !!I would be lost without my daughter.
She's fab with sat navs.
No, I cannot imagine life without my daughter. She makes me smile every day.
Wanted kids ever since I was about 16. Wish I had more and children make all family gatherings much more enjoyable.
The thought of my growing old alone scares the life out of me.
Hoping she never moves too far away when she is older.
She is my daughter, but also my best mate too. We go to town together, to the Godiva together, listen and sing along to songs together in the car and she hugs me every single day.
I truly would be lost without her for sure.
I worry for you here a little Otis, I have 3 girls and I love them all. We used to do so much together for years then they got to an age and you suddenly become second fiddle to some scroty boyfriend and it's definitely not always someone you would pick for them. Don't become too reliant pal !!
Yeah, agree, though it is probably far too late for that now.I worry for you here a little Otis, I have 3 girls and I love them all. We used to do so much together for years then they got to an age and you suddenly become second fiddle to some scroty boyfriend and it's definitely not always someone you would pick for them. Don't become too reliant pal !!
The one thing I didn't anticipate is the expectation from society to have more kids though! Almost every one asks that 'So... when are you having the second one?' question and it's quite weird how often I have to justify my reproduction choices to relative strangers!So many people seem to still carry the debunked misconception that an only child will be spoilt too. It has lead to niggling doubts about whether we should have had a 2nd, if the age gap is too big now anyway for them to really be friends, whether we are too old, whether we really want to go through all the first couple of years of a new baby again, and I don't really have any of those answers still. Waters are further muddied by the wife being quite fearful of another pregnancy in general after a very complicated birth and an emergency c-section the first time.
I've started making up far fetched reasons as to why we won't be having another and telling that to people when they ask. The more unacquainted I am with the person, the wilder my stories get e.g. An unfortunate nail gun accident left me sterile, my wife in prison, a made up medical condition like uterunteritis.I get that all the time, the looks you get when you say "Not going to bother having any more", "Why not", "We dont want to". They look at you like you have just punched them in the face.
........The maternity leave out here is amazing, up to 3 years and you get a set amount of money split over as many months as you choose to take off. As I work from home almost every day I got to be there for so much more of her early life than a lot of Dads get the chance to and I feel very lucky to have had that opportunity.........
Do you speak Czech? How did you come to live out there? (Tell me to piss off if I'm being too nosy)My daughter is 4. Born when I was 36 and the wife 32, so started relatively late. Felt like a good age at the time - meant I had experienced a bit more of life while young, was in a better place financially than if i'd started earlier, had established a decent work-life balance and she'd be grown up before I was 60 - that was a big thing for me, I didn't want to be a 60+ Dad to a teenager, which is not a judgement of those who are, just my personal choice on the matter.
The maternity leave out here is amazing, up to 3 years and you get a set amount of money split over as many months as you choose to take off. As I work from home almost every day I got to be there for so much more of her early life than a lot of Dads get the chance to and I feel very lucky to have had that opportunity. Now she attends a Forest School out here which is incredible compared to standard kindergarten style preschools and she loves it there - an outdoor education in the middle of nature.
The one thing I didn't anticipate is the expectation from society to have more kids though! Almost every one asks that 'So... when are you having the second one?' question and it's quite weird how often I have to justify my reproduction choices to relative strangers!So many people seem to still carry the debunked misconception that an only child will be spoilt too. It has lead to niggling doubts about whether we should have had a 2nd, if the age gap is too big now anyway for them to really be friends, whether we are too old, whether we really want to go through all the first couple of years of a new baby again, and I don't really have any of those answers still. Waters are further muddied by the wife being quite fearful of another pregnancy in general after a very complicated birth and an emergency c-section the first time.
In summary I don't think there are any right answers, you just have to have the conviction that you're doing the best you can for your family, and that's all you can do - whether it's 0 kids or 10!
About 15 years ago I was to be laid off from my job, but because my boss liked me, I got the opportunity to go and work at the company's HQ in a city 850 miles away.I am very envious, I feel that I really missed out on the early stages with both my kids because I was the one who had to go and work. Thing is, I took redundancy in 2014 from a career I was good at but didn’t particularly enjoy in the hopes of doing something more interesting. Sadly that hasn’t panned out and all the jobs I have done since then have basically made me miserable. My Daughter turns 3 in August and will get her 15 hours free childcare in September and my Son is already in School so very shortly the missus will be going back to work and I am going to jack in my well-paid but terrible job to do something lower paid but with a lot less responsibility and closer to home, possibly even just part time. The tax advantage of having two incomes instead of one means that if we both have £15k a year jobs we end up better off than me earning £30k plus. As long as we both work more than 16 hours a week the 15 hours free childcare would be upped to 30 hours too so it seems a no brainer.
I am sick to death of an hour and half each way commute in to Manchester to sit in a horrible office with people I don’t like doing a job that realistically makes sod all difference to anyone. By the time I get home I see my kids for about 45 mins before they go to bed and most of that is taken up with baths and bedtime routine so it’s not proper quality time. They are tired by the time they see me and they don’t want to play or tell me about their day.
I decided a while ago that I wasn’t interested in climbing the career ladder, as long as I can pay my bills with a bit spare I’m happy. I do a lot of voluntary and community work and I get my “work” satisfaction from that these days. There is the potential that I could do a lot more community stuff and even get paid for some of it from next year so that’s definitely something I want to explore and not being in full time work, or at least working closer to home will help with that.
I want to be around for my kids while I they are still young enough to want me around.
There's plenty to be not envious about too! No support from my parents as they are still Warwickshire based. My wife's Mum died of cancer 11 years ago in her early 50s and her Dad is a 6ft 4 physics professor, so you can imagine what he was like around a young baby. Me being around a lot was almost a necessity.I am very envious, I feel that I really missed out on the early stages with both my kids because I was the one who had to go and work. Thing is, I took redundancy in 2014 from a career I was good at but didn’t particularly enjoy in the hopes of doing something more interesting. Sadly that hasn’t panned out and all the jobs I have done since then have basically made me miserable. My Daughter turns 3 in August and will get her 15 hours free childcare in September and my Son is already in School so very shortly the missus will be going back to work and I am going to jack in my well-paid but terrible job to do something lower paid but with a lot less responsibility and closer to home, possibly even just part time. The tax advantage of having two incomes instead of one means that if we both have £15k a year jobs we end up better off than me earning £30k plus. As long as we both work more than 16 hours a week the 15 hours free childcare would be upped to 30 hours too so it seems a no brainer.
I am sick to death of an hour and half each way commute in to Manchester to sit in a horrible office with people I don’t like doing a job that realistically makes sod all difference to anyone. By the time I get home I see my kids for about 45 mins before they go to bed and most of that is taken up with baths and bedtime routine so it’s not proper quality time. They are tired by the time they see me and they don’t want to play or tell me about their day.
I decided a while ago that I wasn’t interested in climbing the career ladder, as long as I can pay my bills with a bit spare I’m happy. I do a lot of voluntary and community work and I get my “work” satisfaction from that these days. There is the potential that I could do a lot more community stuff and even get paid for some of it from next year so that’s definitely something I want to explore and not being in full time work, or at least working closer to home will help with that.
I want to be around for my kids while I they are still young enough to want me around.
I'd describe my Czech as functional, certainly not fluent - it's a stupidly hard language to learn. I'm fine around day to day life: In the supermarket, for small talk over the fence with my neighbours or phoning up to make an appointment or book a reservation somewhere but I wouldn't get a Czech speaking job. My daughter is fluent in both English and Czech which is amazing to see in a 4 year old.Do you speak Czech? How did you come to live out there? (Tell me to piss off if I'm being too nosy)
Don't worry about the age gap. If they get on it doesn't mean a lot. My sister had 2 girls a year and a day apart. They have never got on since a young age. Whereas all my kids get on and look forward to seeing each other. And the older ones become baby sitters as they get older.My daughter is 4. Born when I was 36 and the wife 32, so started relatively late. Felt like a good age at the time - meant I had experienced a bit more of life while young, was in a better place financially than if i'd started earlier, had established a decent work-life balance and she'd be grown up before I was 60 - that was a big thing for me, I didn't want to be a 60+ Dad to a teenager, which is not a judgement of those who are, just my personal choice on the matter.
The maternity leave out here is amazing, up to 3 years and you get a set amount of money split over as many months as you choose to take off. As I work from home almost every day I got to be there for so much more of her early life than a lot of Dads get the chance to and I feel very lucky to have had that opportunity. Now she attends a Forest School out here which is incredible compared to standard kindergarten style preschools and she loves it there - an outdoor education in the middle of nature.
The one thing I didn't anticipate is the expectation from society to have more kids though! Almost every one asks that 'So... when are you having the second one?' question and it's quite weird how often I have to justify my reproduction choices to relative strangers!So many people seem to still carry the debunked misconception that an only child will be spoilt too. It has lead to niggling doubts about whether we should have had a 2nd, if the age gap is too big now anyway for them to really be friends, whether we are too old, whether we really want to go through all the first couple of years of a new baby again, and I don't really have any of those answers still. Waters are further muddied by the wife being quite fearful of another pregnancy in general after a very complicated birth and an emergency c-section the first time.
In summary I don't think there are any right answers, you just have to have the conviction that you're doing the best you can for your family, and that's all you can do - whether it's 0 kids or 10!
Well that's me. I'll be a 60+ dad to a teenage daughter.My daughter is 4. Born when I was 36 and the wife 32, so started relatively late. Felt like a good age at the time - meant I had experienced a bit more of life while young, was in a better place financially than if i'd started earlier, had established a decent work-life balance and she'd be grown up before I was 60 - that was a big thing for me, I didn't want to be a 60+ Dad to a teenager, which is not a judgement of those who are, just my personal choice on the matter.
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