Shocked / advise (1 Viewer)

[Sky Blue Harry H]

Another ploy - difficult though it may be to attend, is to ask to go to one of your mother in law's local meetings, where she meets with these like minded folk (not the Tommy Robinson gatherings) and see if you can do a bit of 'divide and conquer' - especially if you could manage to infiltrate their meeting with 2 or 3 people. If nothing else, you might e able to determine who is the driving force behind the mindset - there is usually a 'leader'. A bit of reverse psychology, subtle disruption of her group?

 

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[OffenhamSkyBlue]

Another ploy - difficult though it may be to attend, is to ask to go to one of your mother in law's local meetings, where she meets with these like minded folk (not the Tommy Robinson gatherings) and see if you can do a bit of 'divide and conquer' - especially if you could manage to infiltrate their meeting with 2 or 3 people. If nothing else, you might e able to determine who is the driving force behind the mindset - there is usually a 'leader'. A bit of reverse psychology, subtle disruption of her group?

It's probably Craig's MIL!

 

[Sky Blue Harry H]

It's probably Craig's MIL!

At least he'd know ! (I would have given you a laughing emoji, but didn't want to trivialise Craig's position)

 

[Deleted member 5849]

You're more or less proving my point about one side of the debate fuelling the anti-immigrant argument by insinuating that anyone who talks about the facts are racist. I didn't say anything of the kind (I was pointing out the facts regarding crime statistics), and you are taking your own wishes of what you want to hear and putting those words into my mouth. It puts you in a great position because you get to call someone racist and simultaneously get to avoid talking about the real issues in the same move. That's a very low post and you should be ashamed of yourself.

I'm really not proving your point. You're a buffoon who can't understand anything than a partial, paranoid view of the world.

And I'm afraid that was a racist statement, along with other statements you have made. The only person who should be ashamed is yourself for trying to distort a thread for your own agenda, as you often do. What I should be ashamed for is letting things go. I mean, you're the one who's unable to comprehend facts and cherry pick what you want to decide what you've already decided. You are, in short, a fool.

Anyway I know it's pointless arguing with you as it'll just confirm you're right and, if I'm lucky, I may get some vaguely sinister invite to fight you, so best I pop you on ignore, again, as the unpalatable views you try to sneak through do not have a place in my life.

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

I'm really not proving your point. You're a buffoon who can't understand anything than a partial, paranoid view of the world.

And I'm afraid that was a racist statement, along with other statements you have made. The only person who should be ashamed is yourself for trying to distort a thread for your own agenda, as you often do. What I should be ashamed for is letting things go. I mean, you're the one who's unable to comprehend facts and cherry pick what you want to decide what you've already decided. You are, in short, a fool.

Anyway I know it's pointless arguing with you as it'll just confirm you're right and, if I'm lucky, I may get some vaguely sinister invite to fight you, so best I pop you on ignore, again, as the unpalatable views you try to sneak through do not have a place in my life.

If you can't have a conversation like an adult I would suggest maybe not using the internet and probably this forum. I genuinely think you are too fragile to deal with the reality and cruelness of the world, and any time a thread gets a bit deep you are often one of the first people to start crying if somebody doesn't hold an opinion that you agree with.

The OP has clearly been in an awkward situation and was asking for advice in terms of what to do. Most of what has been said was fair. There's also a difficult topic here which is beyond your comprehensive ability and instead of talking normally, have ended up calling someone racist and using slurs towards particular demographics that you've obviously heard elsewhere, and want someone to say, so you can play moral high ground. None of that came from me.

You made yourself look like a dickhead, but I won't be calling you out for a fight, don't worry. You've inflicted more damage on yourself than anyone else could anyway!

 

[Nick]

Have you spoken to her? She's from a few generations before, so she probably needs to be educated or listened to about her ACTUAL / ORIGINAL concerns before they spiral.

 

[Harry Krishner]

Telford - scene of yet another grooming scandal?

 

[Johnnythespider]

Having a family meal and just talking shite , the usual. Asked how my week had been and what I’d been up to . I asked the same question to my mother in law and was totally shocked. She ( 78 years old ) had gone to Telford for a Tommy Robinson rally … I just don’t know what to say …..

Did she order Gammon?
I'd probably contact her newsagents and stop her subscription to the Mail

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

In both Spain and the UK (and many other countries in Europe), certain demographics are overrepresented in the crime statistics. That doesn't mean you go and join a Tommy Robinson rally, but equally going into denial, calling people racist, or trying to stifle the debate when the facts are there isn't helpful either. It seems to happen a lot, and gives the anti-immigration argument a bigger platform.

It's better to talk about it openly and come up with some well reasoned answers or solutions, than giving fuel to people like Tommy Robinson.

You are right, but perhaps not for the reason you think. Men were arrested at 6 times the rate women were in this country last year. I would strongly guess that men are over represented in the people trying to migrate here and more likely to end up committing crimes.

 

[oscillatewildly]

Given the tendency for old people to reveal what they've been up to, in inappropriate settings, I would have thought that the disclosure that she'd been to see the Tom Robinson Band would have induced a sigh of relief, not be the cause of an all out witch hunt.
It's probably just a phase she's going through.

 

[rob9872]

Given the tendency for old people to reveal what they've been up to, in inappropriate settings, I would have thought that the disclosure that she'd been to see the Tom Robinson Band would have induced a sigh of relief, not be the cause of an all out witch hunt.
It's probably just a phase she's going through.

That reminds me of when my mate said his mum thought she was seeing Chubby Checker at the Spa Centre. Turns out it was Chubby Brown. Never did find out if she stayed.

 

[oscillatewildly]

That reminds me of when my mate said his mum thought she was seeing Chubby Checker at the Spa Centre. Turns out it was Chubby Brown. Never did find out if she stayed.

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Once someone reaches a certain age you can’t change someone’s deeply held beliefs. You can challenge each and every action that’s racist but it becomes tiring and completely destroys any relationship you have
My mum is 82 my mother in law is 79 they are what they are now I can choose to be in relationship and accept the good and the bad or not
I’m rubbish at it as it deeply offends me when my mum is openly racist about Asian neighbours but I won’t stop her doing it. I can say challenge every time and do but it’s her truth and she’s sticking to it. She’s so lovely in many other ways

Was at a union meeting recently and we have a new representative who’s from China. I knew she taught maths and took a job in the civil service as the behaviour of the children as awful.
Anyway we were discussing an issue and there was disagreement respectfully expressed and actually we didn’t come to a consensus
She raised her hand and said that she was from China and moved to the uk 22 years ago and she still can’t get her head around being able to share different opinions and for this to be ok and no one expected to have a knock at the door later in the day to remove you from your job

It utterly stopped me in my tracks!
A - wow what had led to her leaving and why had she ended up in the uk
B - she left 22 years ago and is articulate and intelligent and cares deeply about other people ( she is a rep as she wants to help others) but is still affected by her experiences 22 years ago
C - what do I take for granted and shouldn’t and should ensure we don’t lose what we have - different opinions / discussion without violence / rule of law etc
D - we are very much what we are and take on opinions and beliefs from our culture parents school and trying to change them in adult life is really hard
E - we need to be patient with those around us who hold opinions we would spend our lives campaigning against
F - if we can’t what’s the point let’s just have binary arguments over good bad right wrong

Love most of you hugely - thanks for telling me how things are even when you disagree

Life is so short and insane we can and should choose kindness in all things. Even when our mother in law poisons their mind by listening to absolute shit from a shit stirrer.
Love her, talk to her, show her what we have to be grateful for, live out the reality of how wrong Tommy Robinson’s way of life is wrong and help her to choose a different way

 

[rob9872]

Once someone reaches a certain age you can’t change someone’s deeply held beliefs. You can challenge each and every action that’s racist but it becomes tiring and completely destroys any relationship you have
My mum is 82 my mother in law is 79 they are what they are now I can choose to be in relationship and accept the good and the bad or not
I’m rubbish at it as it deeply offends me when my mum is openly racist about Asian neighbours but I won’t stop her doing it. I can say challenge every time and do but it’s her truth and she’s sticking to it. She’s so lovely in many other ways

Was at a union meeting recently and we have a new representative who’s from China. I knew she taught maths and took a job in the civil service as the behaviour of the children as awful.
Anyway we were discussing an issue and there was disagreement respectfully expressed and actually we didn’t come to a consensus
She raised her hand and said that she was from China and moved to the uk 22 years ago and she still can’t get her head around being able to share different opinions and for this to be ok and no one expected to have a knock at the door later in the day to remove you from your job

It utterly stopped me in my tracks!
A - wow what had led to her leaving and why had she ended up in the uk
B - she left 22 years ago and is articulate and intelligent and cares deeply about other people ( she is a rep as she wants to help others) but is still affected by her experiences 22 years ago
C - what do I take for granted and shouldn’t and should ensure we don’t lose what we have - different opinions / discussion without violence / rule of law etc
D - we are very much what we are and take on opinions and beliefs from our culture parents school and trying to change them in adult life is really hard
E - we need to be patient with those around us who hold opinions we would spend our lives campaigning against
F - if we can’t what’s the point let’s just have binary arguments over good bad right wrong

Love most of you hugely - thanks for telling me how things are even when you disagree

Life is so short and insane we can and should choose kindness in all things. Even when our mother in law poisons their mind by listening to absolute shit from a shit stirrer.
Love her, talk to her, show her what we have to be grateful for, live out the reality of how wrong Tommy Robinson’s way of life is wrong and help her to choose a different way

I think it depends on the level. Clumsy or outdated language from old folk I can handle, I'd still like to think as human beings that in times of trouble your mum would still help her neighbours and vice versa. Actively going to be meetings that fuel hatred as in what the op is going through are a whole different level.

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

I think it depends on the level. Clumsy or outdated language from old folk I can handle, I'd still like to think as human beings that in times of trouble your mum would still help her neighbours and vice versa. Actively going to be meetings that fuel hatred as in what the op is going through are a whole different level.

Agreed

 

[Deleted member 5849]

Once someone reaches a certain age you can’t change someone’s deeply held beliefs. You can challenge each and every action that’s racist but it becomes tiring and completely destroys any relationship you have
My mum is 82 my mother in law is 79 they are what they are now I can choose to be in relationship and accept the good and the bad or not
I’m rubbish at it as it deeply offends me when my mum is openly racist about Asian neighbours but I won’t stop her doing it. I can say challenge every time and do but it’s her truth and she’s sticking to it. She’s so lovely in many other ways

Was at a union meeting recently and we have a new representative who’s from China. I knew she taught maths and took a job in the civil service as the behaviour of the children as awful.
Anyway we were discussing an issue and there was disagreement respectfully expressed and actually we didn’t come to a consensus
She raised her hand and said that she was from China and moved to the uk 22 years ago and she still can’t get her head around being able to share different opinions and for this to be ok and no one expected to have a knock at the door later in the day to remove you from your job

It utterly stopped me in my tracks!
A - wow what had led to her leaving and why had she ended up in the uk
B - she left 22 years ago and is articulate and intelligent and cares deeply about other people ( she is a rep as she wants to help others) but is still affected by her experiences 22 years ago
C - what do I take for granted and shouldn’t and should ensure we don’t lose what we have - different opinions / discussion without violence / rule of law etc
D - we are very much what we are and take on opinions and beliefs from our culture parents school and trying to change them in adult life is really hard
E - we need to be patient with those around us who hold opinions we would spend our lives campaigning against
F - if we can’t what’s the point let’s just have binary arguments over good bad right wrong

Love most of you hugely - thanks for telling me how things are even when you disagree

Life is so short and insane we can and should choose kindness in all things. Even when our mother in law poisons their mind by listening to absolute shit from a shit stirrer.
Love her, talk to her, show her what we have to be grateful for, live out the reality of how wrong Tommy Robinson’s way of life is wrong and help her to choose a different way

I used to go out with a Chinese girl, a couple of her friends came to stay. We were discussing our government, and I gave the smallest criticism of Tony Blair. The lad turned to his girlfriend and said 'see? This is how it should be, you can say what you think here.' Shocked me all three more as I hadn't said anything particularly bad, and it was in private among friends, so hardly a big demonstration or anything.

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

I used to go out with a Chinese girl, a couple of her friends came to stay. We were discussing our further, and I have the military criticism of Tony Blair. The lad turned to his girlfriend and said 'see? This is how it should be, you can say what you think here.' Shocked me all three more as I hadn't said anything particularly bad, and it was in private among friends, so hardly a big demonstration or anything.

Yep exactly that. I’m not even certain anyone else around the table took in what she was saying
I was utterly flabbergasted it blew me away and really affected me I was thinking about it and still am

 

[rob9872]

I used to go out with a Chinese girl, a couple of her friends came to stay. We were discussing our government, and I gave the smallest criticism of Tony Blair. The lad turned to his girlfriend and said 'see? This is how it should be, you can say what you think here.' Shocked me all three more as I hadn't said anything particularly bad, and it was in private among friends, so hardly a big demonstration or anything.

I'll bet it was polite compared to what you might say about him now!

 

[CCFCSteve]

Yep exactly that. I’m not even certain anyone else around the table took in what she was saying
I was utterly flabbergasted it blew me away and really affected me I was thinking about it and still am

We all take for granted the freedoms we have in this country.

 

[wingy]

You're kidding right!

 

[wingy]

What is it their doing ATM?

 

[CCFCSteve]

You're kidding right!

What I mean is it’s only when you speak to people from different countries, especially dictatorships (like Pete posted about) that you appreciate the freedoms we have

*nothing to do what the original post about racism

 

[skybluetony176]

What I mean is it’s only when you speak to people from different countries, especially dictatorships (like Pete posted about) that you appreciate the freedoms we have

*nothing to do what the original post about racism

I have a friend who is Iraqi, lived in Iraq all through Sadams reign and still lives there now. He took his family to Saudi Arabia to do their pilgrimage to Mecca, while there he took a family photo of his family stood in front of a mosque. He and all his family were promptly arrested and taken into custody. Their crime was not taking a family photo, or taking a family photo in front of a mosque. There’s crime was taking a family photo in front of a mosque that just happened to be next to a police station. Long story short they were made to delete all photos of any devices that they’d took that family photo on or shared with, they were then released without charge. What dawned on my friend was how quickly they’d taken for granted the freedoms they’d gained since the fall of the Sadam regime. Apparently you wasn’t even allowed to own a camera under Sadam without permission from the government and they didn’t tend to permit that many.

 

[shmmeee]

I’ve got a few long time mates with some questionable views. Mostly that lizards run the world or Big Farmer wants to microchip them, but on occasion “Tommy Robinson has a point” or “there’s going to be a race war” has popped up. One mate got quite far down the TR rabbit hole during lockdown thanks to Facebook. Eventually realised what the internet was doing to him and pulled himself out and is ashamed of stuff he shared now (he’s still not exactly woke but there’s a line).

I’ve read a lot on deradicalisation and stuff and what seems to come across was just steaming in with conflicting facts was actually counterproductive and the best strategy was continued contact and building trust and asking questions without judgement that leads people to see for themselves the holes in the ideology they’re following. Equally where kids are concerned or whatever there’s a responsibility on you to protect yourself, so I get no contact is a valid option. I’ve always felt that bubbles is what causes this and pulling away just strengthens those bubbles. The antidote to hate in my eyes is always exposure to more people not fewer. More data points to counteract the cartoon image of a population they’re being fed.

What I’m saying is put an ad in the local paper for Bhangra and steel drum practice and put her address down.

 

[shmmeee]

I have a friend who is Iraqi, lived in Iraq all through Sadams reign and still lives there now. He took his family to Saudi Arabia to do their pilgrimage to Mecca, while there he took a family photo of his family stood in front of a mosque. He and all his family were promptly arrested and taken into custody. Their crime was not taking a family photo, or taking a family photo in front of a mosque. There’s crime was taking a family photo in front of a mosque that just happened to be next to a police station. Long story short they were made to delete all photos of any devices that they’d took that family photo on or shared with, they were then released without charge. What dawned on my friend was how quickly they’d taken for granted the freedoms they’d gained since the fall of the Sadam regime. Apparently you wasn’t even allowed to own a camera under Sadam without permission from the government and they didn’t tend to permit that many.

Speaking to friends from Iran and Libya I’ve heard similar stories. The Iranian has been here since Uni and still has his social media monitored by the regime with potential consequences to family back home.

 

[rob9872]

I have a friend who is Iraqi, lived in Iraq all through Sadams reign and still lives there now. He took his family to Saudi Arabia to do their pilgrimage to Mecca, while there he took a family photo of his family stood in front of a mosque. He and all his family were promptly arrested and taken into custody. Their crime was not taking a family photo, or taking a family photo in front of a mosque. There’s crime was taking a family photo in front of a mosque that just happened to be next to a police station. Long story short they were made to delete all photos of any devices that they’d took that family photo on or shared with, they were then released without charge. What dawned on my friend was how quickly they’d taken for granted the freedoms they’d gained since the fall of the Sadam regime. Apparently you wasn’t even allowed to own a camera under Sadam without permission from the government and they didn’t tend to permit that many.

I stopped believing this after word 4

 

[Deleted member 5849]

Big Farmer

 

[Terry_dactyl]

I used to go out with a Chinese girl, a couple of her friends came to stay. We were discussing our government, and I gave the smallest criticism of Tony Blair. The lad turned to his girlfriend and said 'see? This is how it should be, you can say what you think here.' Shocked me all three more as I hadn't said anything particularly bad, and it was in private among friends, so hardly a big demonstration or anything.

I got family who live in China. In fact some of whom consider themselves Chinese. When my uncle comes over there has been times when he has checked what he is saying, sort of looks around to see who might be listening etc. I’d always thought this was for show!
Tbf one time he was over he did get a call from China asking him what he was doing over here, how long he would be, what his plans were etc etc.

 

[Alan Dugdales Moustache]

Having a family meal and just talking shite , the usual. Asked how my week had been and what I’d been up to . I asked the same question to my mother in law and was totally shocked. She ( 78 years old ) had gone to Telford for a Tommy Robinson rally … I just don’t know what to say …..

Whats the big deal ? She's 78 and most don't get out much at that age. I'd just ask her what she got out of it and then move on to talk about proper Sunday dinner.

The UK has changed much more since she was a youngster than it has for following generations in terms of diversity etc. Perhaps just bear that in mind and just move away from the subject when it arises, as it will. You'll never win and who's to say the older generations can't see a much bigger picture that others can't . Or perhaps just brand them as racists.

 

[Deleted member 5849]

Whats the big deal ? She's 78 and most don't get out much at that age. I'd just ask her what she got out of it and then move on to talk about proper Sunday dinner.

The UK has changed much more since she was a youngster than it has for following generations in terms of diversity etc. Perhaps just bear that in mind and just move away from the subject when it arises, as it will. You'll never win and who's to say the older generations can't see a much bigger picture that others can't . Or perhaps just brand them as racists.

Well if she's become a dedicated follower of Tommy Robinson then yes, she is just a little bit racist...

 

[rob9872]

Well if she's become a dedicated follower of Tommy Robinson then yes, she is just a little bit racist...

A dedicated follower of facism

 

[SkyBlueMatt]

Sent from my M2101K6G using Tapatalk

 

[SkyBlueCharlie9]

Whats the big deal ? She's 78 and most don't get out much at that age. I'd just ask her what she got out of it and then move on to talk about proper Sunday dinner.

The UK has changed much more since she was a youngster than it has for following generations in terms of diversity etc. Perhaps just bear that in mind and just move away from the subject when it arises, as it will. You'll never win and who's to say the older generations can't see a much bigger picture that others can't . Or perhaps just brand them as racists.

Classic downplay and deflection from ADM.

 

[jimmyhillsfanclub]

A dedicated follower of facism

A great Billy Bragg lyric. Did you know that @rob9872 ?

 

[rob9872]

A great Billy Bragg lyric. Did you know that @rob9872 ?

I didn't thanks. Was a play on words from the kinks version, guess he got there before me. Tbh don't know much about his material but love A new England both his and Kirsty McColl versions.