stocking filler for the kiddies (1 Viewer)

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Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
mechaishida said:
Did Father Christmas go through Wood End, in the book?

Oh, the images that rush into one's mind. :laugh:
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He also went to Willenhall innit and brought belts for their trousers and gloves for their hands, so next time they stick them down the front of their jeans and trackie bottoms, their fingers don't smell of wee and get pubes all over them.
 
mechaishida

mechaishida

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
He also went to Willenhall innit and brought belts for their trousers and gloves for their hands, so next time they stick them down the front of their jeans and trackie bottoms, their fingers don't smell of wee and get pubes all over them.
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I bet the chapter in the book reads like this:

"And thus, Santa graced the people of Wood End with his presence, majestically riding into the streets to be greeted by the curious sound of baseball bats clanking and youths shouting. Upon casting his eyes on the sight before him, he exclaimed:

'Ho, ho, ho-ly shit...they're gonna fucking rob me!'

And lo, they did. Much bounty was shared amongst the local populous, while poor Santa had to be airlifted to hospital."

That's gotta be in the book somewhere, for authenticity.
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
mechaishida said:
I bet the chapter in the book reads like this:

"And thus, Santa graced the people of Wood End with his presence, majestically riding into the streets to be greeted by the curious sound of baseball bats clanking and youths shouting. Upon casting his eyes on the sight before him, he exclaimed:

'Ho, ho, ho-ly shit...they're gonna fucking rob me!'

And lo, they did. Much bounty was shared amongst the local populous, while poor Santa had to be airlifted to hospital."

That's gotta be in the book somewhere, for authenticity.
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When Santa got back to his sleigh he also found that 3 of his reindeer had their legs missing and had their undercarriages propped up on bricks.
 
mechaishida

mechaishida

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
When Santa got back to his sleigh he also found that 3 of his reindeer had their legs missing and had their undercarriages propped up on bricks.
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Whereupon he hitched a ride home, locked the door of his workshop and lit a large doobie, declaring to his Elves: ''Christmas is fucked, so I'm staying in here till you bastards sort me out a security team. Need more reindeer too, unless you want me to pull the fucking sleigh myself?"

See, that's a book I'd buy.
 
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