Tim Fisher: Fun Facts (4 Viewers)

[DionDublinsJockstrap]

Tim once worked in a travelling circus as "The Great Bastardo the fairly accurate knife thrower." After six months he was topping the bill at Strangeways.

 

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[Ranjit Bhurpa]

The half time entertainment at the Walsall game will be Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe Through the Tulips.

 

[DionDublinsJockstrap]

Tim once applied to be on Lee Macks team on Would I Lie To You, but he was turned down on the basis of being over qualified. He had a similar level of success with his application for I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue

 

[Esoterica]

Tim and Joy once appeared alongside Rick Moranis in a little known, straight to vhs, film sequel: 'Honey, I shrunk the fanbase'.

 

[weecohawena]

Tims mum liked Australian soap opera Home & Away so much she decided on Tim's middle name being Donald, after the character Donald Fisher, played by Norman Coburn.

Every so often she'd trick young Tim by asking him to "throw another shrimp on the barby". Every single time young Tim would attempt to do this, even though his parents didn't own a barbecue, and he was allergic to shrimp.

 

[CCFC54321]

Timmys favourite ever cup final goal was Keith houchens diving header and his father would every night for 6 months for a treat take him to the local concrete play area and recreate that moment until child welfare put a stop to it.

 

[dadgad]

Fisher entered a talent contest at school;

'I'm the devil in disguise
You can see it in my eyes
That I'm tellin' dirty lies,' etc. He sang.

His headmistress awarded him top marks for the feeling he put into the song.
'It was uncanny' she said, 'the level of authenticity he was able to bring. Extraordinary.'

 

[dadgad]

On a safari recently Tim was mistaken for the enormously obese prairie bird.
He was shot and punctured by the head ranger, the escaping gas leak was heard in CV6
In court the QC was heard to remark;
'One loathsome fat pig doth not a turkey make.'

 

[CCFC54321]

Tim had such big gonads and package as a child that he was effectively known as the 'cannon ball kid'.

The clanging of his glue bazooka had him banned from the school library for the last two years holding back his education.

 

[COVKIDSNEVERQUIT]

Tim Fisher is the Borg from Star Trek ( resistance is futile )

 

[DionDublinsJockstrap]

Tim is 437th in line of succession to the now defunct Albanian throne

 

[shmmeee]

Tim once auditioned for X Factor with an acoustic version of Van Full of Retards by Anal c**t.

He didn't get through, but he did develop a budding romance with a runner called Cassandra. Which ended when he found her in bed with Louis Walsh.

 

[Alan Dugdales Moustache]

Tim Fisher is gradually morphing into Peter Sutcliffe.

 

[Deleted member 5849]

When 'exotic dancer' Stacia was absent from Hawkwind concerts, Tim Fisher used to stand in. A particular favourite of his, he said, was the song Sonic Attack.

He was fired because his breasts were too big, and kept poking the saxophonist in the eye as he gyrated.

 

[singers_pore]

Tim Fisher was an extra on the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only where he had a short scene with world renowned model Tula.

 

[cov4theprem]

Upon leaving school Tim started an apprenticeship at Maxwell House Coffee.
He was very proud when told he could go on to 'shake the beans' for life

 

[Chipfat]

At the next fans forum Tim is bringing his world famous farting duck to answer any question.

Tim is praying it will keep the audience misdirected enough that he doesn't have to answer any probing questions himself. If that fails, he will blame the duck, fans and the farmer who sold him the duck, oh and any other poor bastard he can think of.

 

[cov4theprem]

Contrary to his surname, Tim doesn't fish, although he does treat himself to a battered haddock and mushy peas every time Cov lose

 

[CCFC54321]

A unknown fact is Timmy has a pet flea that he keeps in a matchbox. He also brings the flea to home games and demands it's including in the attendance figures.

 

[DionDublinsJockstrap]

Tim is currently working on a screenplay for "Carry On Football." He has described Vinny Jones as "the new Charles Hawtrey", that Joy has been working on her Hattie Jacques impression, and that Joe Elliott is a shoe in for Sid James as long as he detans a little.

 

[Sbarcher]

Tim ended up in A&E.
What happened? said the nurse
Well I was out riding, I have ridden for years and consider myself an excellent horse rider. Well, this horse just bolted and I hung on for dear life. After a while I began to slip from the saddle and ended up with my foot caught in the stirrup and dragged along the ground.
If the manager of Toy's R Us hadn't switch the machine off, I'd still be there now..........

 

[skybluetony176]

Tim believes in vampires and is so frightened of being bitten by one he eats garlic on a regular basis.

 

[Esoterica]

Having mastered 13 world languages and struggling to find another motivating challenge, Tim decided to push himself further by joining the Nepalese nomadic Raute tribe. After 6 months Tim returned to the UK having been unsuccessful in his search for the tribe. During his time there he lived off roasted Macaque and became an expert forager. His very dusty flip flops are still in a glass display at the National History Museum.

 

[DionDublinsJockstrap]

Tim once completed the Tour De France on his Raleigh Chopper. He finished second to the the leader of North Korea.

 

[King of the Lesbians]

Often allowed to go on set when his mum was filming Star Wars, young Timothy was once famously thrown out of the studio by George Lucas after being caught wanking off an Ewok...

 

[Irish Sky Blue]

Tim once completed the Tour De France on his Raleigh Chopper. He finished second to the the leader of North Korea.

His connection with the North Korean leader goes deeper as he was present, and will testify to the truth of the matter, when Kim Jong Il scored his record breaking 11 holes in one. Honest Tim as the North Koreans call him.

 

[King of the Lesbians]

Often allowed to go on tour with his dad, young Timothy was once famously thrown off the tour bus by Simon Climie after being caught wanking off an Ewok...

 

[DionDublinsJockstrap]

Tim on more than one occasion has paid full price at DFS

 

[Esoterica]

Tim is a topiary expert and has to date clipped, cut and crafted 37 Sheffield Wednesday players into his sizeable garden. The centrepiece to his collection won the 'Best in Britain Chris Bart-Williams in Privet' for 4 consecutive years (1992-1995) which broke his own consecutive years record, previously set by 'Best in Britain Paul Warhurst in Bay Laurel' which was held from 1991-1993.

 

[Esoterica]

Tim no longer has contact with his estranged mother. While suffering from severe postnatal depression she buried him alive under the frozen chips in an Iceland freezer and left him for dead. In his subsequent front page interview with the Sheffield Chronicle, Tim described it as 'A trauma that no 27 year old should ever have to experience'.

 

[mrtrench]

Like a flamingo, Tim can only sleep whilst stood on one leg in water.

 

[DionDublinsJockstrap]

Tim has just announced that he is going to stand for parliament as he now realises that he is not the biggest bull shitter in the country. He will be standing as The Real David Davis candidate

 

[dadgad]

Tim has just rung up Theresa May to offer her his pr and marketing services
for free.
May took the call herself;
'Do you specialise in bullshit giving substance to pure wind?'
'Most certainly, ask Joy.' he replied grinning like a prize bastard.
'You're in.' said May chuckling demonically.
'This clinches the election...' she muttered.

 

[Porkchophill]

DNA tests conclude tims closest relation on the planet is the Mongolian fuck pig

 

[Chipfat]

Not known by many people is that our Tim is the inventor of a brand new breathing apparatus, ideal for the diving, it expands the length of time they can go without air, 5 years in fact. When asked by diving monthly how he came up with the idea he smiled and said when you have kept your head up your own arse for as long i have its an essential piece of equipment for survival.