Terrible Christmas Presents (7 Viewers)

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Nick

Nick

Administrator
mechaishida said:
Bought myself one from Lidl, it's being used quite liberally.

Anyone remember Brut Aquatonic? That was serious fanny pulling aftershave in the mid nineties.
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Santa brought some more this year too. It's up there with Joop.
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
A few years ago when take that played the Ricoh I treated my wife to a hospitality tickets as a combined Mother's Day, wedding anniversary and birthday present cost me a fortune. For my anniversary present she bought me a packet of trainer socks !!
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Would prefer the socks to Take That any day of the week.
 
O

oscillatewildly

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
Actually, I think my worst present was going out for Christmas dinner, paid for by my parents.

All food choices pre-ordered over a month ago and table booked two months ago.

So, get there (it's a carvery, but I am obviously vegetarian) and we pretty much immediately get our starters, only my mum, my dad and my daughter had all ordered melon with raspberry coulis and the waitresses actually turned up at the table with three prawn salads.

I politely told them the order was wrong and they seemed baffled. I looked at our order (had taken a photocopy of what we ordered as a reminder for ourselves) and we had indeed ordered correctly.

So, mine the missus's were correct, but now we didn't all the get the starters at the same time.

The wife and I had ordered breaded brie and all you could taste was the oil. Seemingly they had not drained the things properly. The wife hated it.

Next, was the carvery, so they took our starter plates away and we asked do we just go up and get the carvery and they said no they would come and fetch us.

15 mins later we are still twiddling our thumbs waiting and there was no-one waiting at the carvery, so we asked again and the waitresses said 'you all for carvery then?' To which I said 'No, it 4 for the carvery and I am vegetarian.' So, she went off again and said she would come back.

About 5 mins later she came back and asked what I had ordered and I told her it was the brie, mushroom and cranberry wellington and off she went again.

A few minutes later she came back and asked if I would have the salmon instead, to which I replied, 'No, I am a vegetarian. I don't eat fish.'

Another 10 mins pass and we ask again about the carvery and the waitress said to me they were just trying to get my wellington 'perfect.' It was very clear by then that the had totally buggered everything up and didn't even seem to have our order at all and were obviously cooking my wellington from scratch.

I asked if the other 4 could go up to the carvery as it wasn't fair on them to wait and they said that was fine.

They all got their meals and then another 10 mins later the waitress comes back and says my dish was ready, so I went up and I took one look at the thing and it was anaemic. Absolutely pale and no colour at all to the pastry.

I was given the wellington and the chef then promptly asked me if I wanted pigs in blankets with it. I politely said no, shook my head and went back to the table.

The dish itself was very nice, but I opened it up and there was no sign of any brie and there certainly wasn't any cranberry in it at all.

We then came on to the desserts and I had salted caramel profiteroles and I could barely eat them they were so sweet. I have a very, very sweet tooth, but I was wincing with every mouthful. Incredibly sickly sweet. Think of a Cadbury's cream egg and then multiply the sweetenes by about 10. It wasn't a deliberate sabotage I'm surely as I was so polite all the way through, not wanting to spoil anyone elses enjoyment or get myself in a lather about it and ruin my own day.

Don't think we will be going back.
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This was never a 'real life' experience, Otis? This recount sounds more like an episode of Fawlty Towers.
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
oscillatewildly said:
This was never a 'real life' experience, Otis? This recount sounds more like an episode of Fawlty Towers.
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It was real unfortunately.

It still makes me smile the notion of waiting all that time for a vegetarian option and then when it finally arrives they then offering me pigs in blankets to go with it.
 
Houchens Head

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Otis said:
It was real unfortunately.

It still makes me smile the notion of waiting all that time for a vegetarian option and then when it finally arrives they then offering me pigs in blankets to go with it.
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My vegetarian step-daughter really embarrassed me and the missus just before Christmas. She had come down to the island from London (where she lives) and we had booked a Sunday lunch for the three of us. I specifically noted that we had a strict vegetarian with us. It was our local pub of which we are regulars, and known quite well. On the day in question, we ordered our meal and the option for the step-daughter was a nut roast, which she was happy with. However, when it was delivered to our table, she started to eat the meal and then called the waitress over and asked what the roast potatoes had been cooked in. "Lard." came the reply. Then the embarrassment! "I need to go to the bathroom and make myself sick!" my step-daughter said, in a loud enough voice for the whole bloody pub to hear! Off to the bog she went, and we were offered another dinner for her, without the roast spuds, which we accepted on her behalf. When she came out of the bogs, we told her that another meal was coming for her, "I don't want it!" she stormed and so we were offered a refund for her meal. I have never cringed so much! Me and the missus were so embarrassed! She got a right bollocking from my missus when we got back home! I still haven't been back to the pub yet!
 
skybluedan

skybluedan

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
I got a FitBit.

Considering I never ever go to the gym, or jog, or do any exercise at all past walking the dog, it's entirely useless.



I do walk with the a dog a lot but haven't got the slightest interest how far I've gone.
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I'd strap it to the dog and let everyone think you've been doing loads
 
O

oscillatewildly

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
It was real unfortunately.

It still makes me smile the notion of waiting all that time for a vegetarian option and then when it finally arrives they then offering me pigs in blankets to go with it.
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We stand firm, my friend. I smile at the thought that some meat eaters will never discover the delight of butternut squash in its many varied guises.
 
skybluedan

skybluedan

Well-Known Member
mechaishida said:
Bought myself one from Lidl, it's being used quite liberally.

Anyone remember Brut Aquatonic? That was serious fanny pulling aftershave in the mid nineties.
Click to expand...

Mate you must have been pulling some right manky fannys with brut aquatonic you wanted women in the 90s it was farenheit or cool waters all day

Even in my school days the cool waters bit of lynx still remember it well playing a bit of footy on the playground smoking behind the bike sheds and of course trying to finger them birds

I fuckin loved that caretaker job........
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
Houchens Head said:
My vegetarian step-daughter really embarrassed me and the missus just before Christmas. She had come down to the island from London (where she lives) and we had booked a Sunday lunch for the three of us. I specifically noted that we had a strict vegetarian with us. It was our local pub of which we are regulars, and known quite well. On the day in question, we ordered our meal and the option for the step-daughter was a nut roast, which she was happy with. However, when it was delivered to our table, she started to eat the meal and then called the waitress over and asked what the roast potatoes had been cooked in. "Lard." came the reply. Then the embarrassment! "I need to go to the bathroom and make myself sick!" my step-daughter said, in a loud enough voice for the whole bloody pub to hear! Off to the bog she went, and we were offered another dinner for her, without the roast spuds, which we accepted on her behalf. When she came out of the bogs, we told her that another meal was coming for her, "I don't want it!" she stormed and so we were offered a refund for her meal. I have never cringed so much! Me and the missus were so embarrassed! She got a right bollocking from my missus when we got back home! I still haven't been back to the pub yet!
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How old is the stepdaughter?

I never ever make a fuss.

I never expect anyone to cater for me. If there is no vegetarian option I just wouldn't go to that place.

I take this pub doesn't usually do vegetarian meals?
 
mechaishida

mechaishida

Well-Known Member
skybluedan said:
Mate you must have been pulling some right manky fannys with brut aquatonic you wanted women in the 90s it was farenheit or cool waters all day

Even in my school days the cool waters bit of lynx still remember it well playing a bit of footy on the playground smoking behind the bike sheds and of course trying to finger them birds

I fuckin loved that caretaker job........
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Bear in mind I was 15 and the level of fanny at Bishop Ullathorne was pretty fucking ropey in those days.

The ones who could blink in unison without walking into a door were mad for Aquatonic, haha.
 
Houchens Head

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
Otis said:
How old is the stepdaughter?

I never ever make a fuss.

I never expect anyone to cater for me. If there is no vegetarian option I just wouldn't go to that place.

I take this pub doesn't usually do vegetarian meals?
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She's 37. She will even cross the road to avoid walking past a butchers shop. As for the pub, it's not a particularly veggie place, but they will do their best to cater. It was just this time, they cocked up with the roast spuds. But it was the reaction from the Drama Queen step-daughter. I still haven't been back to the pub. I was too embarrassed.
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
Houchens Head said:
She's 37. She will even cross the road to avoid walking past a butchers shop. As for the pub, it's not a particularly veggie place, but they will do their best to cater. It was just this time, they cocked up with the roast spuds. But it was the reaction from the Drama Queen step-daughter. I still haven't been back to the pub. I was too embarrassed.
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Yeah, agree.

I remember working at a place and the supervisor was vegetarian.

Anyway, someone was leaving and someone had baked a cake. The supervisor was merrily tucking in when in passing another person commented on the cake, saying how nice it was and asking what was in it and when the person said it contained some animal derivatives, the supervisor threw his plate to the floor, ran out and threw up in the toilets.

I was a vegetarian too at the time and had simply learnt that if someone had made something I would just steer clear of it just in case and always felt it wrong of me to ask what all the ingredients of the cake were!!
 
Houchens Head

Houchens Head

Fairly well known member from Malvern
I can understand the veggie principles - I'm a huge animal lover - but if you were to eat something unwittingly, how is that so wrong? I just don't get all the drama?
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
Houchens Head said:
I can understand the veggie principles - I'm a huge animal lover - but if you were to eat something unwittingly, how is that so wrong? I just don't get all the drama?
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No, don't get the drama. Understand the logic. If someone is giving you animal fat you might as well just go and eat the meat itself and would I think anyone prefer to eat the meat than some animal rennet from a calves stomach.

No need for any drama though
 
W

wingy

Well-Known Member
Otis said:
No, don't get the drama. Understand the logic. If someone is giving you animal fat you might as well just go and eat the meat itself and would I think anyone prefer to eat the meat than some animal rennet from a calves stomach.

No need for any drama though
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Not even a death threat.
My god you have been prolific of late took me ten minutes to get to this post and its not even the one I was Looking for. Lol B-)
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
wingy said:
Not even a death threat.
My god you have been prolific of late took me ten minutes to get to this post and its not even the one I was Looking for. Lol B-)
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Yes I am prolific. This is a consequence of my having curtailed my posting regime by 37.5%.
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
You talking about the vegan spiking?

Just Googled. Saw the original story, but didn't know she had since received death threats.
 
Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
If so, bang out of order.

Only thing I would consider if deeply offended would be legal action.

Be the same if someone didn't eat cow or pork for religious reasons, but then the chef deliberately 'spiked' their meal.

Pretty outrageous to be honest, but death threats? Really? What a joke! Some people seriously need to get a life.
 
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