SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
I feel like I'm having a bit of a break down right now
Are you happy (17 Viewers)
- Thread starter We'll_live_and_die
- Start date
covmark
Well-Known Member
What's up mate? Spill, it might make you feel better.
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clint van damme
Well-Known Member
ring someone mate. Speak to someone. Here's a few numbers that may help
Samaritans -116 123
CALM - 0800 58 58 58
Sane - 0300 304 7000
SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
I've stopped shaking now, I think I will be alright. I've moved my counselling session to tomorrow
clint van damme
Well-Known Member
good luck for tomorrow. Hope it all goes well.
SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
Just being messed around a bit by a girl I've known for a few years, want to call her out on her bullshit but anxious and I'm a bit fuming
SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
She just uses me and takes advantage of and treats me like shit, but then other times she is really nice.
She is very hot and cold with me with no reason as to why
She is very hot and cold with me with no reason as to why
clint van damme
Well-Known Member
sounds like you'd be better off getting her out of your life if that's how shes going to affect you, even if she is nice at times.
Or maybe give her a final warning to cut her shit or keep out of your life.
covmark
Well-Known Member
Good luck tomorrow mate.
Echo what Clint says really. Maybe you need to weigh up whether this girl is right for you or not.
Whatever you do, there's always someone on here that will always be willing to listen. On this thread, or PM.
All the best to you pal.
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SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
We have to work together, really closely. And it would feel like a complete failure if this friendship failed or came to an end but I'm close to losing it with her and probably destroying whatever friendship we have.
SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
She's not a girlfriend but I liked her and was too messed up to make my feelings known properly.
She's in a relationship now and I'm just trying to keep the friendship going.
She's in a relationship now and I'm just trying to keep the friendship going.
SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
She's stuck abroad at the moment so we were keeping in touch.
And I was surprised (pleasantly) she was messaging me so much tbh, really engaging in the conversations and initiating chats with me and I was helping her with a few things.
But the last week she has gone really funny with me for no obvious reason. Leaving me on delivered and read for days at a time and not answering my questions. And I dunno what happened in the last few weeks to make her go off on me.
And I want to call her out on her bullshit but am scared how the conversation will go or that we will fall out over it. But at the same time I can't keep trying to keep in touch and being given the cold shoulder cause it makes me feel like shit.
And I was surprised (pleasantly) she was messaging me so much tbh, really engaging in the conversations and initiating chats with me and I was helping her with a few things.
But the last week she has gone really funny with me for no obvious reason. Leaving me on delivered and read for days at a time and not answering my questions. And I dunno what happened in the last few weeks to make her go off on me.
And I want to call her out on her bullshit but am scared how the conversation will go or that we will fall out over it. But at the same time I can't keep trying to keep in touch and being given the cold shoulder cause it makes me feel like shit.
SkyBlue_Bear83
Well-Known Member
I scratched myself yesterday
clint van damme
Well-Known Member
if that's the affect she's having you've got to ask if the friendship is worth having but might be worth explaining to her the affect her behaviour is having on you.
Hopefully she'll she your point of view.
covmark
Well-Known Member
Mate, it sounds like she's playing games with you. Especially if she's in a relationship. You could really do without that shit in your life.
Scratching yourself really isn't the answer, but you know that right.
There are situations in all our lives where it becomes difficult to deal with shit. There's people who care though pal. Especially your fellow skyblues. Speak to your councellor tomorrow and let us know how you go. You're always welcome to PM me if you don't want to post in the thread.
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Wyken Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
Just for a couple of days give her the silent treatment outside of work. If she messages just ignore her.
Sometimes it takes a dose of one's own medicine to realise how much they do things to other people.
Even if you call her out on it, what's the worst that can happen? She stops being your friend and you'll just have to put up with her at work. On the other hand she may apologise and things may be better again.
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Mate, a friendship where you’re scared of scaring them off isn’t an equal friendship and so not a friendship that’s worth keeping IMO. You need to learn how awesome you are and that you are worth as much as anyone else.
Ignore her. Go work on yourself or talk to other people, if she’s worth anything she’ll reach out. If not then you need to be comfortable letting people go who don’t bring you joy.
Rooting for you man. Hope you get something from therapy. You got this.
Sky Blue Pete
Well-Known Member
Friend at work family member 17 committed suicide. So tragic! Shows the hidden nature of this as well as the virus
shmmeee
Well-Known Member
Possibly inappropriate “like” there, hope you know what I meant.
I said in the other thread a friend of mine attempted over the weekend. I know my mental health hasn’t been great since lockdown and I’ve noticed people in general online seem a lot more unhappy.
Look after yourselves everyone and check in with people you haven’t heard from, they could be struggling.
Wyken Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
Morning, how have you been the last few days? Hopefully the guys on this thread have helped
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Earlsdon_Skyblue1
Well-Known Member
I know exactly how you feel as I have been going through something very similar.
The problem is, when you like someone so much, you cannot see the wood for the trees. You'll let someone treat you like shit whereas if it was a mate you were seeing being treated in the same way, you would notice how out of order it was and probably say something about it to them.
Hot and cold women are toxic. Full stop. They fuck with your emotions and push you off your centre. You get to the point where you are emotionally dependent on someone and then become afraid to lose them so don't confront them. I know because I just lost someone I was madly in love with.
I haven't heard from her in 4 and a half months and I miss her like hell. All I can say is that by walking away I took the last bit of control back and restored my dignity a little bit. Yes I would still want her to call me tomorrow, but that doesn't change what happened. She put me through hell.
I would go no contact for a week or so. Nothing is going to change in that time. Give yourself some restbite, pull it together, and think about how you will tackle this. Then formulate a plan.
You can do it, and you are better than the ragdoll she is currently throwing around, even if that is accidental.
Good luck and keep us updated.
Last edited:
Spot on advice and take care SBB83
Theses are very strange times. Breezed through the first 6-7 weeks of lockdown even though I live alone and WFH. I’m fortunate I’ve got great group of mates and family to speak to and have also been kind of seeing a girl (casually) pre Covid for a few months so regular messaging etc. She’s was probably a bit keener pre a Covid, I was keeping a bit of distance as she’d come out of a long term relationship last few months (and is a bit of a wild one) so just wasn’t sure about anything longer term.
Anyway around a week ago I totally hit the wall mentally, not sure if it was lockdown or I had noticed she’d changed (texts less interested not bothered about having a chat etc etc) or a bit of both. Last few days the combo of the lockdown and that have really got to me, can’t get her out my head (when pre Covid I was pretty cool about stuff). Finally, called her out yesterday and just asked if our little thing was gonna continue post Covid, response was pretty much ‘who knows’. Not the answer I was hoping for !!! Now all of a sudden I’m in the middle of lockdown, one of the main things to look forward to in the short term looks like it’s down the pan and still probably an age until bars open...not easy !
Kinda kicking myself for maybe not giving it a proper crack with her earlier (even though deep down there were good reasons why I didn’t which I know I’m blinding myself from currently). Just can’t shake a bit of underlying sadness and feeling low, which has hung around for over a week now
I class myself as a reasonably strong person mentally but this whole thing has been a major head fuck over the past few days so I can only imagine how hard it can be for others, especially those without a support circle/network (if you don’t make sure you speak to someone...Samaritans etc)
Take care all, struggling to see it currently but know deep down we will get through it !
ps Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. thanks for listening
clint van damme
Well-Known Member
Stay strong Steve. This won't last forever. And perhaps the reason you didn't give it a crack with this girl before is because she really wasn't for you but lock down has maybe got you looking at that relationship through rose tinted spectacles.
Cheers mate. And I know deep down you’re spot on...I just wish my heart brain would listen !!! :emoji_bow:
Earlsdon_Skyblue1
Well-Known Member
You've almost got to take yourself out of the situation and try to look at it from an external perspective. Imagine someone being in your position. What would you think about the situation and advise them?
It's incredibly difficult when you like someone and red flags get ignored almost subconsciously. I think relating it to my situation, I never got on with anyone as well as the girl I was seeing, maybe it is the same for you. Because of this you lie to yourself a bit and put them on a pedestal. You're scared to lose them so also become unable to stand up for yourself when they're not treating you right because you think any kind of resistance will push them away.
I think it is important to remember to be yourself. It sounds like you are doing 60% and her 40% right now.
If you want to try and keep it going then you have to try and chill a bit, but that is hard and unnatural. On the other hand it sounds like she is playing games a little bit and knows you are on the hook, so I would be very cautious.
Take a bit of time for yourself man, I would.
Yes she could be just going through the 7 th week doldrums that Steve is .
I think it's possible we all are .
I know I've found it harder this week .
Earlsdon_Skyblue1
Well-Known Member
You may well be right. I have been suffering a bit the last week or so.
Coming to accept that I might never hear from her again.
Earlsdon_Skyblue1
Well-Known Member
Been struggling for the last couple weeks I think.
Cannot stop thinking about what has happened and playing out 100 different scenarios in my head.
Haven't heard from her in over 4 months and I just feel like I never will again. Thought about making contact with her friend to try and recon a bit but think that might be more risk than it's worth. Maybe I need to give it more time as she probably has only just got through her divorce. Certainly not gonna reach out directly at this point.
Fucking sucks and I cannot think about anything else. It's almost one year ago I met her now. Absolutely devastated.
Cannot stop thinking about what has happened and playing out 100 different scenarios in my head.
Haven't heard from her in over 4 months and I just feel like I never will again. Thought about making contact with her friend to try and recon a bit but think that might be more risk than it's worth. Maybe I need to give it more time as she probably has only just got through her divorce. Certainly not gonna reach out directly at this point.
Fucking sucks and I cannot think about anything else. It's almost one year ago I met her now. Absolutely devastated.
Sick Boy
Super Moderator
I’ve had that after a bad break up but it lasted a couple of years and ended up ruining potential healthy relationships and generally ruining my self-esteem.
I’m sorry to say that if a woman wants to be with you, you will most certainly know about it. From reading your previous posts on the situation it sounds like she was letting you down gently because she knew how much she liked you but she was probably also in two minds.
It sounds harsh but the bottom line is that she has chosen to not be with you or keep in contact, which is more telling than anything else.
Hopefully this time next year you’ll realise you’ve not thought about her in weeks, it’s tough but you’ll come through it and one day realise that it was for the best.
Sick boy has already covered pretty much as I also see it. One thing I would like to reiterate though is that these are extremely unusual (unprecedented) times ! There is not doubt that this is making you feel worse about stuff with way too much to thinking time, rose tinted specs of the previous situation etc etc. That’s not playing down your feelings at all mate, but just worth reminding yourself now and again that your feelings will have been magnified by current circumstances.
I wish I could provide further advice, however, as I keep rolling the dice on my mess of a situation, whilst continuing to make an absolute tit of myself, I wouldn’t feel quite right ! Unfortunately my standard response to situations such as these of ‘fuck it, let’s get down the boozer and see what else is out there’ is currently off the table so is restricting my options somewhat....hence my continued ritual humiliation !! :emoji_relaxed:
you take care though mate, I can pretty much guarantee that once we’re out of this mess you’ll start to feel a hell of a lot better
Wyken Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
If i need cheering up or a laugh I just watch this:
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Wyken Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
Just been watching the Prince William documentary on BBC 1 regarding football and mental health.
Really enjoyed it and I think all men can take something from it.
Also think Prince William is down to earth and a very good ambassador to have
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Really enjoyed it and I think all men can take something from it.
Also think Prince William is down to earth and a very good ambassador to have
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As down to earth as you can be when you're part of the most powerful family in the world and in line for the throne.
Covkid1968#
Well-Known Member
Haha.... this is true. But he does look like he will make a good King. Skipping Charles would do the Royals a big favour
Sky Blue Harry H
Well-Known Member
For all those having issues re: broken relationships, one thing that we inevitably do is assume that the other person is having a great time (obviously not necessarily the case), which only adds to our sense of despondency. Trying to maintain a sense of self worth and doing positive things, surrounding yourself with people who care about you, is important. A long time since I've been through any of this, but it's something an awful lot of us will have been through at one point or another. Good thread.