joke(s) (1 Viewer)

[Houchens Head]

I keep having recurring nightmares about fruit machines.
My wife has been really supportive though. She wakes me up with a nudge, and then holds me.

 

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[Houchens Head]

It's Trump's wedding anniversary in a few days - in a rare tender moment he described the first time he laid eyes on Melania, and clicked 'add to cart'

 

[Houchens Head]

My grief counsellor died yesterday. Luckily, he was so good, I didn't give a shit!

 

[Houchens Head]

My missus says she's loving me because I don't listen properly.

 

[Houchens Head]

Kerry Katona doesn’t actually own a cat.

 

[Houchens Head]

Would acupuncture help cure pins and needles?

 

[duffer]

Would acupuncture help cure pins and needles?

You should be on telly, mate.

At least then we could turn you off.

 

[Houchens Head]

You should be on telly, mate.

At least then we could turn you off.

Thank you Duffer! That means a lot to me!

 

[eyesee]

i tried growing onions last year, but they all ended up really small.
i guess that's shallot.