joke(s) (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter richnrg
- Start date
LastGarrison
Well-Known Member
I’ve just had a book published on poltergeists........
It’s flying off the shelves!
It’s flying off the shelves!
Wyken Sky Blue
Well-Known Member
What did Yoko say when John Lennon was murdered?
Ono...
Sent from my I3113 using Tapatalk
Ono...
Sent from my I3113 using Tapatalk
Covkid1968#
Well-Known Member
Haha.... we have quickly established the level of entry
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
Teacher: “Now, Johnny, I want you to give me a sentence containing ‘contagious’”
Johnny: “My dad’s painting our house. It’ll take the c**t ages!”
Johnny: “My dad’s painting our house. It’ll take the c**t ages!”
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
"What do we want?”
“Hearing aids!"
"When do we want them?”
“Hearing aids!"
“Hearing aids!"
"When do we want them?”
“Hearing aids!"
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
I was just taking a dip in the swimming pool when the lifeguard shouted out;
"What have you got there?"
"Hummus", I replied.
"What have you got there?"
"Hummus", I replied.
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
As a personal tribute to David Bowie I've made a whole tin of Heroes last just for one day.
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
My wife told me she's loving me because I don't listen to her properly.
Sky_Blue_Daz
Well-Known Member
A lady knocked on our door earlier she was taking donations for a new swimming pool, so I gave her a bucket of water
Sky_Blue_Daz
Well-Known Member
My grief councillor died yesterday, luckily he was so good I couldn’t give a shit
Sky_Blue_Daz
Well-Known Member
The lady who lives across the road from me has described me as a looker..... Well voyeur but same thing
Evo1883
Well-Known Member
D
Deleted member 5849
Guest
Four years to get the punchline is some going!Really tickled me that has
Blind-Faith
Well-Known Member
Sent my hearing aids off for repair three weeks ago….
I haven’t heard anything since
I haven’t heard anything since
Skybluekyle
Well-Known Member
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser and that we were over.
So I packed her things and left.
So I packed her things and left.
Skybluekyle
Well-Known Member
Was walking home from work and some random guy threw a jar of mayonnaise at me, I was like "what the Hellmann's?!"
Blind-Faith
Well-Known Member
When I was younger my fairy god mother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory……
I can’t remember which one I chose???
I can’t remember which one I chose???
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
My missus says I only have two faults.
1. I never fully listen to her.
2. Er.....um.....er..... and something else she was banging on about.
1. I never fully listen to her.
2. Er.....um.....er..... and something else she was banging on about.
Blind-Faith
Well-Known Member
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg???
Pick it up and suck it’s cock
Pick it up and suck it’s cock
Sky_Blue_Daz
Well-Known Member
Had me first cage fight yesterday
I battered that guinea pig
I battered that guinea pig
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
I can't stand sitting down.
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
My mate asked me "Who was the Roman Goddess of marriage?"
I said "Juno."
He said "NO!! That's why I'm asking you!"
I said "Juno."
He said "NO!! That's why I'm asking you!"
Sky_Blue_Daz
Well-Known Member
There's been 2 tonnes of vicks vaporub spilled on the m6 , amazingly no congestion
Sky_Blue_Daz
Well-Known Member
I’ve developed an addiction to drinking brake fluid , but I can stop anytime I want
Frank Sidebottom
Well-Known Member
I went to the local video shop and said could I borrow Batman Forever? He said, no you have to bring it back tomorrow.
Sky_Blue_Daz
Well-Known Member
The wife’s just called me a sex machine , well to be fair she called me a fucking spanner but I’m trying to put a positive spin on it
Houchens Head
Fairly well known member from Malvern
My gorgeous looking neighbour said I was a looker!
Well, voyeur. Same thing.
Well, voyeur. Same thing.
Stevenage_sky_blue
Well-Known Member
I started working for the Samaritans recently, phoned in and tried to book sick last week but the b******s talked me out of it!
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