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even if they're someone else's crisps?

Do your best to secretly find out who it was, then organize this years 'Secret Santa' and make sure they get them back as their 'present'

some more suggestions for the second verse of the Gyokeres song (all serious).. He plays up front, with his laces untied, His favorite loaf is Mothers Pride, He scores for fun and won’t be denied, He makes my wife go all misty eyed, When he scores a goal he does a lovely slide, His...

oh, so he skipped the kids stage and went straight for the grandkids. Clever 👌

one last crucible appearance

RIP - a real pioneer. He was sticking his fingers up things way before other TV presenters made it the norm.

don't you ever learn?

I know what you mean. I once went to a 'posh' dinner party, and was asked by some lady (who i know had not worked a day her her life, but had a rich husband) , "and what is it that you do?" I felt like saying "the same as you do, ..breath, eat, and shit every now and again"

yes - they're a pain in the arse

I agree with most of your points, except.. So a player deliberately cheats, the (honest) ref misses it, and we blame the ref?

I guess you were lucky, as 'mid-wipe' would have been worse

on first reading I thought :) the car was inside the house

Adverts that use shitty rhymes (mainly on the radio) e.g. Halfords -"...for every occasion/...the home of staycations" Sky have just released one to advertise their new glass telies, which also has a stupid rhyme which sounds like it took a 5 year old two minutes to create.

10 is ok - just visiting :)

Two teams spend 90 minutes trying to con the ref into giving an incorrect decision (by appealing for throws that obviously came off them last, by diving for penalties when there is no contact, etc). Then, when the ref eventually falls for one of these cons ( as the player does it so well that in...

minus 26?. Fuck, you're hard!

Fankaty, Fankaty Dabo Fankaty, Fankaty Dabo Sky Bluuuues Shooting to win. :p

you mean Roger & Suki ?

in 295 years? (if interest free)

although you're happy to sing Doris Day when we're close to Wembley 😉