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He's waiting for you to throw that butt-plug for him to retrieve.

Checking the 'cov scores' is getting more depressing than it's ever been.

SkyblueUsername with a pitchfork shouting "you're too old to be here, go home and save lives"

A drone with a load speaker fitted telling him to "go home and save lives"

Dion Dublin - he went to Aston Villa and he broke his neck.

This is my cat Chester accompanying me today at the allotment.

Well I've now got 4 varieties of first earlies and 1 of second planted in the ground and have started off a few seeds in propagaters in the greenhouse: Sweetcorn, cauliflower, cabbages, runner beans, peppers and tomatoes. I'm fully expecting the beast from the east to arrive next week and dump...

Lots of Dr Who ads though. I seen that on the news, are you Nick Owen?

You must be really bored whilst in lockdown if you're bothering with that rags awful website.

I reckon it'll be an alien invasion.

Leeks seem to grow at an incredibly slow rate, I think children grow quicker!

Mo konjic for Derby County at highfield road in 2005

As a lorry driver I have noticed this on my travels, some areas look like driving through the Everglades!

Majorca yesterday

I'll have a decent cognac please, got about £200, that should get something decent.

Thanks offenham, Most of the plot has been covered in ground sheets over the winter so the soil should be quite warm, I shall lift it today and start digging it over then have the spuds in the ground in the next couple of days. Now I have the greenhouse repaired I will look for some of the...

I've got 3 different types of first early spuds chitted but not sure if it's the right time to plant them out yet.

Hi, I noticed a few of you in another thread talking about growing your own in either an allotment plot or veg patch so have started a thread where you will hopefully pass on some advice as you all sounded quite knowledgeable. I took over an abandoned allotment plot a couple of years ago, I've...