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Are you adopting the Black Knight approach?

Infuriating. How difficult can it be? 🤷

Do we go top if it's 20-0?

What's Jack ever done to you?

Hate to burst your bubble, but all players get two pairs of specially stiffened shorts when they sign.

At the risk of sparking another re-run on the evergreen acronym)initialism caper , please put me out of my misery and spell out your initialism. TIA.

Tree hugger?

Anyone else getting that deja vu feeling?

It's a strange sort of footballer who'd be happy spending most of his time sitting on his arse, regardless of club or salary, assuming of course that he took up football because he enjoys playing.

If I was "worth" £50 million I'd consider myself filthy rich.

Might be someone else's hair though.

Can I go to the toilet please Sir? 🙋

They're very effective on doors and windows. As a teacher (still trying to get my head round that) you should be leading by example and spell it correctly - draught, this side of the Atlantic.

Are they broadcasting from the middle of the crowd?

Hardly extraordinary! Nasty things, ligament injuries.

You can't beat a good sandwich.

Filling?

What's on the menu?

Those who slate him don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

Rangers fans were mighty glad to see the back of him as well.