@Earlsdon_Skyblue1 I had a similar thing happen a few years ago. Met a girl we fell hard for one another but both lived in different places and both coming out of something heavy. I lived in London at the time and that's where she was from, all her friends were there, I got on with them and she'd move away to be with her ex. It felt like it needed some unknown thing just to click into place and it would be perfect. We met at festivals and spent a summer together, not quote holidays and stuff but has that same feeing of being away from the real word. After the summer was over things started to drip like you'd mentioned. I also did what you're doing now of leaving it to her to initiate contact. I got one email from a burner account from her one time saying how strong her feelings were and she dreamt of me almost every night but she just can't see how things would work. I replied but it bounced back as she'd just deleted the account. That was the last time I spoke to her, it was really rough at the time and I can understand the anxiety about letting it all go as things can seem so perfect but after I accepted that things weren't going to progress I was able to take a step back and evaluate myself, find areas for self improvement but also realise that some things weren't my or her fault but just bad timings or poor fate. Eventually I got over it all and it's just a footnote, I've been with my other half for year, got engaged a few months ago and couldn't be happier.
I didn't mean to hijack you in any way here, just express that from my experiences this is rough but even if you don't get what you want here things will get better. When you're in the middle of it it seems like it's the only light at the end tunnel but it really isn't and you will come out stronger for the experience.
