Cristiano Ronaldo and his girlfriend are having a romantic wine-fuelled picnic on the beach. His girlfriend says “Oh Cristiano, kiss me.” Ronaldo uncorks a bottle of red wine and pours it all over her lips before kissing her. The girl says “That was wonderful Cristiano, but why the red wine?” Ronaldo replies “I am Ronaldo, I am not stupid. I will not have red meat unless I have red wine.” The girl is mesmerised and says “Oh Cristiano, kiss me lower!” Ronaldo whips out a bottle of white wine and pours it all over the girl’s breasts, then kisses them hungrily. The girl says “Oh Cristiano, that was wonderful. But why the white wine?” Again, Ronaldo replies “I am Ronaldo, I am not stupid. I will not have white meat unless I have white wine.” The girl, now completely in awe, says “Oh Cristiano, kiss me lower!”
Ronaldo then stands the girl up and barges her back to the sand roughly. He then proceeds to eat her out like an expert. The girl, breathless, says “Cristiano, that was wonderful! But why did you barge me to the ground?” Ronaldo replies….... “I am Ronaldo, I am not stupid. I will not go down unless there is sufficient contact.”
