Bad joke corner (5 Viewers)

Hugh Jarse · Feb 14, 2012

My gay, dislexic friend is gutted today as he thought it was Vaseline Day.

Brighton Sky Blue · Feb 23, 2012

What's the difference between your mum and the Wolves job? Your mum gets filled.

scroobiustom · Feb 23, 2012

The Con-dem coalition is now less of a coalition and in fact represents more of a hostage situation.

scroobiustom · Feb 23, 2012

La_Lucha said:
Why was tigger looking down the toilet??
A: Because he was trying to find Pooh!!

I read this as 'Trigger' for some time!

BackRoomRummermill · Feb 26, 2012

Hugh Jarse said:
My gay, dislexic friend is gutted today as he thought it was Vaseline Day.

That made me LOL

Alex · Feb 26, 2012

What do you call someone with no body and a nose?

Nobody Knows.

Alex · Feb 26, 2012

Also, how many Mexicans does it take to change a light-bulb?

Just Juan.

Hugh Jarse · Feb 27, 2012

Who sang Tiger Feet?

Brighton Sky Blue · Feb 27, 2012

Clive Eakin related chant:

'Clive, Clive, Cliiiiive Eakin, Clive is the voice of Coventry-he'll fook you up, wherever you may be 'cos Clive is the voice of Coventry'

hughescov · Feb 27, 2012

'It's a boy!'

I shouted as I ran from the Thai brothel.

Disorganised1 · Mar 3, 2012

Mud ! (No 1 on my 21st Birthday)

Did you hear about the lonely pyromaniac ?

He's still looking for the perfect match.

Sumo the Micky Quinn · Mar 3, 2012

A lester fan is shagging his daughter and says "Your'e a better shag than your mother"

so she replies "yeah I know my brother told me!!"

Hugh Jarse · Mar 5, 2012

What do you call a lifelong Chelsea fan?

An eight year old!

skybluedan · Mar 5, 2012

when i was younger i had a way with the ladies....
and me mates use to call me mr lover lover
until one night i shagged a disabled girl up the arse...........
and now they call mr mr bum spastic..........

Hugh Jarse · Mar 6, 2012

How does an Arsenal fan beat the queues when leaving the Emirates?

They wait for the match to finish.

scroobiustom · Mar 6, 2012

Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.":laugh:

andrew.roberts · Mar 6, 2012

I used to be a good mate of MC Hammer but I stopped hanging out with him because he wouldn´t let me touch anything

hughescov · Mar 7, 2012

I just found a £20 hanging from my ceiling.

It was a suicide note.

DH - Sky Blue · Mar 12, 2012

When I broke up with my wife, I didn't want anything from her in the settlement except a pint of milk, four egg yolks, a vanilla pod, an ounce of caster sugar and two fluid ounces of single cream. She mixed it all up in a bowl and then threw it in my face.

On the plus side, I did get custardy.

smileycov · Mar 12, 2012

Disorganised1 said:
Mud ! (No 1 on my 21st Birthday)

Thats Right, Thats Right, Thats right!!

Disorganised1 · Mar 12, 2012

smileycov said:
Thats Right, Thats Right, Thats right!!

And the winner of the longest wait for a punch line is.........

Hugh Jarse · Mar 13, 2012

Disorganised1 said:
And the winner of the longest wait for a punch line is.........

That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat!!

Hugh Jarse · Mar 22, 2012

Someone asked me if it was too early for Muamba jokes? I said I didn't know.

I'm sure the Diana jokes came out quicker.

LastGarrison · Mar 22, 2012

I had an argument with the missus earlier so I picked up the washing machine and threw it at her.

Bosch

LastGarrison · Mar 22, 2012

I was feeling a bit down so I tied some balloons to a bottle of whiskey.

Certainly lifted my spirits.

skyblueprincess · Mar 22, 2012

Knock knock

Hugh Jarse · Mar 22, 2012

My other half asked me to kiss her somewhere smelly last night so I drove her to Hillfields.

Hugh Jarse · Mar 22, 2012

I was mid-stroke with the wife last night when I just stopped and held the same position, deadly still for a few seconds. 'What the hell are you doing?!' she asked. 'Don't worry love', I replied, 'i've seen them do this position on RedTube loads of times, it's called "buffering"'.

Hugh Jarse · Mar 22, 2012

skyblueprincess said:
Knock knock

Go on then Princess, who's there?

skyblueprincess · Mar 22, 2012

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lol

Hugh Jarse · Mar 22, 2012

skyblueprincess said:
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lol

This place gets worse

Have a great evening.

Hugh Jarse · Mar 22, 2012

Just got back from Blackpool, never again!

On the seafront I saw a guy and woman having a shouting match until the woman smacked the guy in the head and they started fighting.

Then a copper turned up but instead of trying to calm things down he starts twatting the guy with his baton, in the end the guy gets the baton off the copper and starts hitting him AND his wife!...

.......Then this crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages!

scroobiustom · Mar 22, 2012

Hugh Jarse said:
Just got back from Blackpool, never again!

On the seafront I saw a guy and woman having a shouting match until the woman smacked the guy in the head and they started fighting.

Then a copper turned up but instead of trying to calm things down he starts twatting the guy with his baton, in the end the guy gets the baton off the copper and starts hitting him AND his wife!...

.......Then this crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages!

B.r.illiant

skyblueprincess · Mar 23, 2012

Knock Knock

dutchman · Mar 23, 2012

skyblueprincess said:
Knock Knock

Okay, I'll bite!

Who's there?

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