Mental Health (13 Viewers)

[Sky Blue Pete]

I have also questioned why she puts in the effort she does for people who couldn't be bothered to do it themselves for their own qualification. But with her anxiety it's difficult to coax her out of the mindset. Whistle blowing is what should happen but she'd be petrified of the consequences as everyone would know who it was.

Id definitely get advice from the union

 

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[Brighton Sky Blue]

One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given is to accept that you will never ever get level, never mind ahead. Once you really embrace that then you can see things differently. The only thing in teaching that HAS to be done to a strict, strict timescale is Safeguarding. Everything else is able to be delayed, put on the back burner, even ignored in some cases.... no matter what they tell you.

I think your missus is being let down by a lot of people all along the leadership chain, from mentor to headteacher.
If she walks - she’ll never struggle to get a job. If you both love the real part (the actual teaching) then you will find a school that will embrace it and release the shackles of nonsense. I know it must be hard to think that’s possible, but don’t give up on it too soon.

To be honest Ian I still haven't got over how I was treated as an NQT. I'm in a better working environment than I was but she hasn't been so fortunate.

 

[Ian1779]

I have also questioned why she puts in the effort she does for people who couldn't be bothered to do it themselves for their own qualification. But with her anxiety it's difficult to coax her out of the mindset. Whistle blowing is what should happen but she'd be petrified of the consequences as everyone would know who it was.

The one thing I will say (which may not necessarily be helpful I’m sorry) is that if a school is prepared to ‘cheat’ then they’d happily be prepared to sell her down the river if they were caught. I know it would be hard - but her integrity and professionalism would never be in question if she whistle-blew - even if it meant her time at the school ended afterwards. It would be far harder to try and fix it from the other side on a professional level.

About 8 years ago at our school an English teacher whistle-blew on their department. It later emerged that a group of staff had been writing coursework banks for English Language, and then they essentially matched them to certain kids in ‘best fit’. The English results were always 25/30% better than every department and we were always told that we were just shit. It had been going on for 6 years. The headteacher at the time got wind of what was going to happen (he’d been in on it too) and walked. The 2 staff involved both took the blame, getting fired and being banned from administering the GCSE course with 2 exam boards. Headteacher claimed ignorance, and said the staff lied to implicate him... but he got away with it as he never put his name to a single piece of work... let the others do that instead.

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

To be honest Ian I still haven't got over how I was treated as an NQT. I'm in a better working environment than I was but she hasn't been so fortunate.

The last two jobs I have had, I ended up getting paid off, essentially so I didn't complain.

The only reason I took it and kept quiet is because I needed the money to pay mortgage and keep myself afloat etc etc. If it wasn't for that I would have taken them both to court. Sadly, most employers know this, and that is why bad treatment can be hard to put a stop to.

I'm concerned about some of things you say regarding your partners mental state. I know what it is like just to tread water, but you can only do it for so long. You'll be the one left to pick up the pieces too. It might seem like a silly solution, but there are a lot of casual jobs still up for grabs at the moment. If I don't find employment in the next couple of weeks I will do something similar. Maybe you could look at that a little bit so you can keep things going but preserve a better mental state? Sorry if that is terrible advice, but it just sounds incredibly rough on you both right now.

Best of luck!

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

The one thing I will say (which may not necessarily be helpful I’m sorry) is that if a school is prepared to ‘cheat’ then they’d happily be prepared to sell her down the river if they were caught. I know it would be hard - but her integrity and professionalism would never be in question if she whistle-blew - even if it meant her time at the school ended afterwards. It would be far harder to try and fix it from the other side on a professional level.

About 8 years ago at our school an English teacher whistle-blew on their department. It later emerged that a group of staff had been writing coursework banks for English Language, and then they essentially matched them to certain kids in ‘best fit’. The English results were always 25/30% better than every department and we were always told that we were just shit. It had been going on for 6 years. The headteacher at the time got wind of what was going to happen (he’d been in on it too) and walked. The 2 staff involved both took the blame, getting fired and being banned from administering the GCSE course with 2 exam boards. Headteacher claimed ignorance, and said the staff lied to implicate him... but he got away with it as he never put his name to a single piece of work... let the others do that instead.

I have shared my concerns that she is implicated in something similar to this. Coursework has been rotten since it was invented for this reason

 

[Ian1779]

I have shared my concerns that she is implicated in something similar to this. Coursework has been rotten since it was invented for this reason

As long as they continue to measure school performance in tables and leagues, this sort of shit will carry on happening.

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

The last two jobs I have had, I ended up getting paid off, essentially so I didn't complain.

The only reason I took it and kept quiet is because I needed the money to pay mortgage and keep myself afloat etc etc. If it wasn't for that I would have taken them both to court. Sadly, most employers know this, and that is why bad treatment can be hard to put a stop to.

I'm concerned about some of things you say regarding your partners mental state. I know what it is like just to tread water, but you can only do it for so long. You'll be the one left to pick up the pieces too. It might seem like a silly solution, but there are a lot of casual jobs still up for grabs at the moment. If I don't find employment in the next couple of weeks I will do something similar. Maybe you could look at that a little bit so you can keep things going but preserve a better mental state? Sorry if that is terrible advice, but it just sounds incredibly rough on you both right now.

Best of luck!

Her number one weakness is that she can't say no to anyone because she thinks it makes her look impolite/unhelpful. In any line of work that means extra work gets dumped onto you and it becomes normalised. We did actually discuss other types of more casual work that would ease the work life balance, but she doesn't want to stop using her degree. What I've suggested that seems OK to her is to go back into doing a Masters, hold down a casual job in the short term and I can hold the fort with the mortgage. She's just worried about taking the plunge

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Her number one weakness is that she can't say no to anyone because she thinks it makes her look impolite/unhelpful. In any line of work that means extra work gets dumped onto you and it becomes normalised. We did actually discuss other types of more casual work that would ease the work life balance, but she doesn't want to stop using her degree. What I've suggested that seems OK to her is to go back into doing a Masters, hold down a casual job in the short term and I can hold the fort with the mortgage. She's just worried about taking the plunge

Sounds like a plan

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

Got discharged from the mental health team today. They said I have nothing acutely wrong with me and that they are overwhelmed and need to prioritise other people. - That came from a team of people that have not even spoken to me. Absolutely laughable. The woman who delivered the news was clearly extremely stressed out and was apologising profusely. I felt genuinely sorry for her.

Spent the last five months trying to get a diagnosis so I can actually get my life back, and they have completely abandoned me.

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

Got discharged from the mental health team today. They said I have nothing acutely wrong with me and that they are overwhelmed and need to prioritise other people. - That came from a team of people that have not even spoken to me. Absolutely laughable. The woman who delivered the news was clearly extremely stressed out and was apologising profusely. I felt genuinely sorry for her.

Spent the last five months trying to get a diagnosis so I can actually get my life back, and they have completely abandoned me.

Have you got in touch with Cov and Warks Mind? Amazing charity that might be able to expedite this for you and will at least listen.

Home - CWMind

 

[Houchens Head]

First time reading this thread. Missed it first time out. Anyway, I just want to say that there's loads of people that have "mental issues" that are not recognised by their peers, friends and family. My own story is that about 25 or more years ago, I suffered a bout of depression. The annoying thing was, I couldn't figure out why I felt 'down' all the time. This went on for about a year until I saw my doctor. He gave me a prescription for amitriptyline, which at the time was a powerful drug to treat depression. He only gave me a weeks worth. But they bloody worked! But more importantly, he referred me to a psychologist at Gulson Road hospital. I had to see her for an hour, every week for a year. During this time, she managed to get out of me the underlying reasons of my depression. I had been repressing my childhood memories of being brought up in social care in the 1950's and 60's. From the age of 3 until I was 15 I never knew my family. I had the most atrocious upbringing. She told me that every time I remembered my childhood, I should jot it down and bring it to her next time. This note-form eventually turned into my childhood autobiography, which I eventually had published in 2004. (still receive Royalties today!) It was the best thing I did for my mental well-being. I now have no bad memories or ill-feelings about my childhood. Maybe something like this could help others?

 

[Houchens Head]

Got discharged from the mental health team today. They said I have nothing acutely wrong with me and that they are overwhelmed and need to prioritise other people. - That came from a team of people that have not even spoken to me. Absolutely laughable. The woman who delivered the news was clearly extremely stressed out and was apologising profusely. I felt genuinely sorry for her.

Spent the last five months trying to get a diagnosis so I can actually get my life back, and they have completely abandoned me.

I feel for you ESB1. Unfortunately, Coronavirus has put back so much stuff that the NHS want to do but are restricted. I have been waiting for knee replacement surgery for more than 4 years and received a letter last week to tell me that my next appointment with my consultant has been cancelled due to Coronavirus restrictions. Please don't give up. If you feel that you need assistance when all this horrible shit has subsided and we're back to some sort of normality, go back to your GP and insist on further treatment. He/she should see that you get the right treatment. Here's hoping for good things to you and everyone who suffers hidden mental issues. Hope you all feel good again real soon.

 

[Houchens Head]

Have you got in touch with Cov and Warks Mind? Amazing charity that might be able to expedite this for you and will at least listen.

Home - CWMind

Great advice BSB!

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

Great advice BSB!

My grandad used to be chairman of it I think, a number of decades ago now. ESB’s case is what they were set up to do and I hope he gets it from somewhere.

 

[clint van damme]

Have you got in touch with Cov and Warks Mind? Amazing charity that might be able to expedite this for you and will at least listen.

Home - CWMind

Good advise and there are other charities which have up lines as well I've seen numerous advertised but can't remember their names but a quick Google should help. Good luck .

 

[Wyken Sky Blue]

First time reading this thread. Missed it first time out. Anyway, I just want to say that there's loads of people that have "mental issues" that are not recognised by their peers, friends and family. My own story is that about 25 or more years ago, I suffered a bout of depression. The annoying thing was, I couldn't figure out why I felt 'down' all the time. This went on for about a year until I saw my doctor. He gave me a prescription for amitriptyline, which at the time was a powerful drug to treat depression. He only gave me a weeks worth. But they bloody worked! But more importantly, he referred me to a psychologist at Gulson Road hospital. I had to see her for an hour, every week for a year. During this time, she managed to get out of me the underlying reasons of my depression. I had been repressing my childhood memories of being brought up in social care in the 1950's and 60's. From the age of 3 until I was 15 I never knew my family. I had the most atrocious upbringing. She told me that every time I remembered my childhood, I should jot it down and bring it to her next time. This note-form eventually turned into my childhood autobiography, which I eventually had published in 2004. (still receive Royalties today!) It was the best thing I did for my mental well-being. I now have no bad memories or ill-feelings about my childhood. Maybe something like this could help others?

Great story and account of yourself!

Hope this helps those struggling.

Sent from my I3113 using Tapatalk

 

[fernandopartridge]

Without going too much further into it, she is also writing students' coursework for them because they're not doing it and will not get a GCSE without it. So she has been told to just write it herself and put 'comments' on as though they were a genuine draft. There's about 100 times (no exaggeration) that she has to do this because the school wishes to have allowed a set number of drafts (which students never write).

Have advised her to whistleblow but she's terrified about the consequences for her job.

That is just shocking. Is it an academy or a school under LEA control?

 

[Ccfcisparks]

Without going too much further into it, she is also writing students' coursework for them because they're not doing it and will not get a GCSE without it. So she has been told to just write it herself and put 'comments' on as though they were a genuine draft. There's about 100 times (no exaggeration) that she has to do this because the school wishes to have allowed a set number of drafts (which students never write).

Have advised her to whistleblow but she's terrified about the consequences for her job.

That is absolutely appalling

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

First time reading this thread. Missed it first time out. Anyway, I just want to say that there's loads of people that have "mental issues" that are not recognised by their peers, friends and family. My own story is that about 25 or more years ago, I suffered a bout of depression. The annoying thing was, I couldn't figure out why I felt 'down' all the time. This went on for about a year until I saw my doctor. He gave me a prescription for amitriptyline, which at the time was a powerful drug to treat depression. He only gave me a weeks worth. But they bloody worked! But more importantly, he referred me to a psychologist at Gulson Road hospital. I had to see her for an hour, every week for a year. During this time, she managed to get out of me the underlying reasons of my depression. I had been repressing my childhood memories of being brought up in social care in the 1950's and 60's. From the age of 3 until I was 15 I never knew my family. I had the most atrocious upbringing. She told me that every time I remembered my childhood, I should jot it down and bring it to her next time. This note-form eventually turned into my childhood autobiography, which I eventually had published in 2004. (still receive Royalties today!) It was the best thing I did for my mental well-being. I now have no bad memories or ill-feelings about my childhood. Maybe something like this could help others?

That really is a great story, and really uplifting to read.

Perhaps you could share a link to your book? I certainly wouldn't mind having a read.

 

[Sick Boy]

Got discharged from the mental health team today. They said I have nothing acutely wrong with me and that they are overwhelmed and need to prioritise other people. - That came from a team of people that have not even spoken to me. Absolutely laughable. The woman who delivered the news was clearly extremely stressed out and was apologising profusely. I felt genuinely sorry for her.

Spent the last five months trying to get a diagnosis so I can actually get my life back, and they have completely abandoned me.

Hang in there, mate...easier said, I know but things will be better one day, you're not alone!

 

[Houchens Head]

That really is a great story, and really uplifting to read.

Perhaps you could share a link to your book? I certainly wouldn't mind having a read.

I'm honoured that you'd like to read it. Here's the link. Pater Noster (lulu.com)

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

I'm honoured that you'd like to read it. Here's the link. Pater Noster (lulu.com)

Meant to get it last time you linked, did so today

 

[bringbackrattles]

Meant to get it last time you linked, did so today

I got a copy out of the library. Read it a few years ago, fascinating read. Only complaint was the tiny print but other than that enjoyed it.

 

[Houchens Head]

I got a copy out of the library. Read it a few years ago, fascinating read. Only complaint was the tiny print but other than that enjoyed it.

I've since done a 2nd edition reprint BBR. Full font size and the actual book is now 8½" x 11". Worth me spending a bit extra.

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

I've since done a 2nd edition reprint BBR. Full font size and the actual book is now 8½" x 11". Worth me spending a bit extra.

Do you know how many in total have been sold?

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

Do you know how many in total have been sold?

6

 

[Houchens Head]

Do you know how many in total have been sold?

Probably 100 or so. Never wrote it to make money. I did it for myself and to give my kids an insight to my upbringing. I only make £3.68 per copy in Royalties! Not enough to sail off into the sunset with!

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

I'm honoured that you'd like to read it. Here's the link. Pater Noster (lulu.com)

Just ordered myself a copy! Thanks.

Looking forward to reading it.

 

[Ccfcisparks]

Feel absolutely shit recently. Never knew how tough lockdown a third time would be. It seems all I have to look forward to is the Cov games in the week and I purposely avoided the game tonight because I knew if we lost it would make me feel horrific. Any ideas how I can steer clear for the time being. It’s really negatively affecting my mental health.

 

[Earlsdon_Skyblue1]

Learn Spanish/Catalán and go on the Barcelona forum?

Supporting cov is awful.

 

[clint van damme]

Feel absolutely shit recently. Never knew how tough lockdown a third time would be. It seems all I have to look forward to is the Cov games in the week and I purposely avoided the game tonight because I knew if we lost it would make me feel horrific. Any ideas how I can steer clear for the time being. It’s really negatively affecting my mental health.

you can't let the football get to you like this mate.
There's another game in a few days, who knows it might bring 3 points!
Go and watch a comedy or something and forget about city until Saturday.

 

[Ccfcisparks]

you can't let the football get to you like this mate.
There's another game in a few days, who knows it might bring 3 points!
Go and watch a comedy or something and forget about city until Saturday.

I used to enjoy the football but recently it’s become less of a enjoyment and more of a loyalty that I can’t end to break. Deep down I know that if I had no affiliation to a football team I’d probably be a lot happier and a lot less stressed, but how can you abandon a team you’ve been with for years.

 

[clint van damme]

I used to enjoy the football but recently it’s become less of a enjoyment and more of a loyalty that I can’t end to break. Deep down I know that if I had no affiliation to a football team I’d probably be a lot happier and a lot less stressed, but how can you abandon a team you’ve been with for years.

this whole season has been frustrating, I personally didn't expect anything less, but just try and be philosophical.
I still think we'll be OK.

 

[Sky Blue Pete]

you can't let the football get to you like this mate.
There's another game in a few days, who knows it might bring 3 points!
Go and watch a comedy or something and forget about city until Saturday.

Yep

 

[Brighton Sky Blue]

Feel absolutely shit recently. Never knew how tough lockdown a third time would be. It seems all I have to look forward to is the Cov games in the week and I purposely avoided the game tonight because I knew if we lost it would make me feel horrific. Any ideas how I can steer clear for the time being. It’s really negatively affecting my mental health.

I'm planning to go for a long walk on Saturday afternoon instead just to get away from the screen. Haven't posted about her for a while but the missus is still being run through the mill with endless piles of essays to mark and chase so have insisted to her that we get out of the house for at least a few hours.