Bad joke corner (2 Viewers)

[Coventry La La La]

Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world".

Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.

 

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[BenInTurin]

lol that one's great lalala

 

[smileycov]

What did stephen hawkins say when his computer broke?

Nothing!!!!

 

[Coventry La La La]

Suspected bomb bound for Germany is found.

Grandad... it's over!

 

[Coventry La La La]

#THIS IS A STADIUM ANNOUCEMENT: Will the England football team please report to the pitch. You were due to start playing at 8PM. Thank you. #

 

[cheesehog]

I bought two gallons of tippex today...... That was a big mistake!

 

[skybluedan]

a man says to his wife,right you me and the dog are going fishing.....
the wife replies i dont fuckin wanna go fishing,right he says you have 3 choices
you can come fishing
or give me a blow job
or you can take one up the shitter
the wife picks the blow job after a while she says im not being funny love but your dick tastes like shit.......
he says i know the dog didnt want to go fishing either........................

 

[Coventry La La La]

Came home to find all my doors had been smashed in and everything was gone.

What sort of sick fuck does that to someone's advent calendar?

 

[redsox]

I bought two gallons of tippex today...... That was a big mistake!

thanks cheesey this made me smile!!

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[Coventry La La La]

justin beiber tryed to kill the metal
but he
failed as
he was turned in to a girl ​

 

[Coventry La La La]

I'm on a mission to wipe out all stores from a German multi-national supermarket chain. It will take a long time but I'll do it -
Lidl by Lidl.​

 

[cheesehog]

thanks cheesey this made me smile!!

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

You're welcome Red...

 

[Coventry La La La]

I remember how stupid I felt the day I found out Santa Claus doesn't exist. I realised how ridiculous the whole concept was and was clearly just a method of blackmailing children to behave themselves all year round.

Anyway, I'm off to church now. I don't want to piss God off or I will go to hell.

 

[dilligaf]

My daughter was asked to do a farmyard impression at school today,apparently
"Get the fuck off my land before i shoot you, you pikey bastard."
wasn't quite what the teacher was expecting.

 

[dilligaf]

My son just came in and said
"i have lost my virginity to the neighbours daughter last night"
i said "fair enough son i hope you wore something"
he said "don't worry i wore my balaclava"



seen on page 17 after posting "DOH"

 

[Coventry La La La]

Waking the Dead. One letter away from being the most controversial show on TV.

 

[Coventry La La La]

BBC News: Indian Elephants cracked tusk repaired with special resin

Wow. Gavin from Autoglass gets around........

 

[dutchman]

Who put the "T" in Typhoo?

The same person who put the "c**t" in Scunthorpe

 

[Coventry La La La]

I started a website on Audley Harrison a week ago.
No hits so far...

 

[cheesehog]

what has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you'd taken it out a few seconds earlier.

 

[Coventry La La La]

Here's a picture of me with the band REM.

That's me in the corner.

 

[redsox]

I started a website on Audley Harrison a week ago.
No hits so far...

He's gonna come looking for ya.........and he's gonna give ya......errrr.....a great big hug!!

:laugh::laugh:

 

[skybluedan]

i said to the mrs lets play chilean minors....
she said you want me to go down on your shaft till i reach the bottom........
i said no you can fuck off out my sight for 4 months

 

[skybluedan]

shagged a girl with a stutter last night..
i was lucky
just managed to finish before she said no.......

 

[skybluedan]

quality la la la

 

[skybluedan]

my uncle was a rubbish ventriloquist........
he used to put his fingers up me arse and ask me not to say anything...............

 

[skybluedan]

more bad news fo jordan last night ....
peter andre rang to talk about the kids
and harvey answered the iron.......................

 

[Coventry La La La]

ITV Weather: If conditions stay the same it is possible we could have a white Christmas.


Possible? I'd say it was definite if they stay the same as it's currently fucking snowing.

 

[Disorganised1]

If you get an e-mail today with an attachment saying "Look at my tinned meat." Don't open it ! - It's SPAM.

 

[Coventry La La La]

Snow...

Russia = Live with it
Canada = Just another day
Norway = Same old shit
Britain = APOCALYPSE

 

[Coventry La La La]

FIFA committee - Love money

Russia - Massive oil reserves

Qatar - Massive gas reserves

England - Nectar points

D'oh!

 

[Coventry La La La]

What's the difference between One Direction and Futurama?

There's only one Bender in Futurama.

 

[redsox]

Life was hard when I was a kid. We lived on a rough estate. The other kids used to pick on me and cover me whipped cream and put a cherry on my head......It was hard growing up in the gateaux.


:laugh::laugh:

 

[smileycov]

just had 2 blokes in suits on my doorstep for an hour, talking about the benefits of brown bread...............fucking Hovis Witnesses!!

 

[redsox]

just had 2 blokes in suits on my doorstep for an hour, talking about the benefits of brown bread...............fucking Hovis Witnesses!!

you made I laugh smiley, nice one!!

:laugh::laugh::laugh: